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Relationships

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oogling young girls

804 replies

typingtoofast · 25/10/2014 22:08

Myself and my partner have decided to give it another try. He is convinced im the woman for him and has apologised for his regular selfish episodes where I have to explain to him that his behaviour is not condusive to a healthy relationship. Ultimately he's selfish. But he has improved and I have seen a loving, attentive and kind man. I was beginning to think that this was a great new start for our relationship and was glad to give it another shot as had missed him when I decided to end it. The break gave me and him perspective and what was important to us both. All that aside.
We were out today in town and a group of young girls (16yr olds I'd say)were obviously heading off on a halloween party night. I had mentioned how inappropriate I thought the outfits were as they were extreamely revealing. You get the picture. In my mind I'm also thinking how they will catch their death of cold!
He views the girls and says they're out for a good night and laughs. He almost snapped his neck gawping. Now nobody could help it as the outfits as i said were ott. But then he replies they'll be teasing the boys later in the nightclub. I reply yes and that's just wrong.
I have in hay days worn revealing outfits and I replied that I wasn't necessarily looking for sex I was I suppose just rebelling and trying to be adult like.
He replied but kids these days are having sex younger, just look at them,look at the one in the tiny outfit. She'll be having sex tonight with the way she's carrying on.
I told him that's enough, that he looked like a sleezy man oogling.
He replied oh to be back that age again. I'd love to meet her out. Imagine the fun.
I was appalled by two things. One him visioning and two saying it in front of me.
Is this normal? I was disgusted and chose to say nothing for the rest of the evening. But then I think what if middle aged men say these things in their head. He's stupid/honest enough to say it out to me.
Now I'm thinking I am with a sleezy middle aged man and worries me that he would think like that.

OP posts:
neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 03:03

Allegedly???
Sad

Grin
typingtoofast · 26/10/2014 03:13

Wink thanks arsenic. I'll be forever grateful to you for pointing out my failings. Who needs a lifecoach or shrink when you have the wonderful 'girls' on mn.

OP posts:
ArsenicChaseScream · 26/10/2014 03:14

You tried neil, you tried Grin

ArsenicChaseScream · 26/10/2014 03:15

Bingo!!!

Oh I'm happy now. Thanks OP Smile

ArsenicChaseScream · 26/10/2014 03:22

Look, leaving your 'interesting' views on teenagers and their clothes aside.... Ditch the nasty piece of work. The phone thing. Now this. That's what you're really feeling venomous about isn't it? He doesn't sound pleasant. Can't you hang on for someone better? You're a mum. You don't want to give your child this example of how relationships work do you? Of what a man is like?

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 03:23

Oddly enough, the only reason I'm still up is because my eldest is in town tonight with her mates.
I won't go to sleep until I know she's got home ok.

ArsenicChaseScream · 26/10/2014 03:26

And here I was feeling sorry for myself being kept awake by a hacking cough. Will she be long?

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 03:33

No idea. She gets an extra hour because of the clocks going back!!!

Bastard farmers!!!!
Grin

ArsenicChaseScream · 26/10/2014 03:34
Grin
neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 03:45

I think I'll still be the same even when they're in their 20's.
I don't want to ring or text though because apparently it makes her look childish.
Shock

typingtoofast · 26/10/2014 03:48

hmm maybe arsenic, possibly. i dunno, sometimes i'm too black and white in my thinking, i can't help that. the way i was brought up, becoming a mother. you change and what you think is appropriate/not changes. I was a rebel when younger. But i'm not now and try to live my life in a better way.
But people make mistakes, people do stupid things, say stupid things that they don't always mean, or comes out wrong. I don't think Neil is particularly intelligent cos he's a man! Wink no offense neil. you're a cool cucumber .I just like to see things from all angles. i used to spout , o id never put up with xyz and have concrete opinions but i realise with age and life that, you got to bend at times, nobodys perfect. I have my faults too. And i think alot of people here are quick to judge or assume they'd act differently if they were in the situation. It's a different thing when you're in it. you get me?

OP posts:
Hazchem · 26/10/2014 03:49

Do you not get that by saying women are provocative, teasing etc you are essentially blaming them for having men behave in inappropriate ways. Your husband describing how he would like to fuck a 16 year old, becomes her fault rather then him being a pretty shitty person.

That is pretty awful.

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 03:55

Right, she's back, she's ok......not even pissed really.

Goodnight.

typingtoofast · 26/10/2014 04:07

hazchem. i think you're a bit late here. the fireworks are over and you're going over already covered ground.
men are accountable for their actions. i have stated that by saying how disgusted i was with dp. there is no debate there. he's wrong.

to close off this discussion, obviously everyone has a different level or what they think is appropriate in clothing. I would like my child to grow up thinking, you can look hot and young and attractive in anything you wear as long as you're happy, but you don't have to show everything to the world and be seen only for your legs/ass and boobs.

OP posts:
Hazchem · 26/10/2014 06:26

My post was in response to your post at 2:49. The other post weren't there when I posted it. I don't under stand why my time stamp is so different possibly your time chage and my down underness.
Although I think my point is still fair enough and the fact you can't see your description of the girls in the same light as your husbands is kinda sad.

jakesmith · 26/10/2014 09:02

So girls don't wear revealing clothing to get a reaction from boys?

CurtWild · 26/10/2014 09:13

I wore short skirts and high heels at 16 to attract the attention of boys. That was the function of an outfit like that. I knew if I dressed like that I'd probably get my drinks bought for me. Are we now saying that teenage girls don't go out dressed like that for the same reason? Because they're sooo PC, right? I find it highly unlikely the function of that kind of outfit has change in the last 25 years. And I find it impossible to believe I was the only one on this thread that dressed for attention as a teenager.

Btw I don't think they should be called slutty, I certainly wasn't slutty, they should be able to wear whatever they like and not be pestered. BUT to say they're not dressing like that to get more attention from guys is ridiculous.

EllenMumsnet · 26/10/2014 10:12

Morning all. Given the content upthread, thought it apt to post a link to our campaign - which aims to show that there is no 'typical' rape survivor, and reassure those who have experienced rape that it's never their fault.

DiaDuit · 26/10/2014 10:24

Apparently there is a correlation between the state of the economy and women's dress length. Cant remember which way though.

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 11:10

Do you mean that in times of austerity, dressmakers buy less material in order to save money and make smaller dresses?

DiaDuit · 26/10/2014 11:35

I dont actually know what i mean Blush i watched a programme, probably bbc4, a few years ago where it showed the pattern throughout the years since, i think, victorian times. It could be what you suggest although that doesnt explain the 90's because we were doing quote well werent we? And skirts were spice girl length.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 11:51

Hemlines and recession here

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 11:52

If the person conducting the experiment had a beard, glasses, white lab coat and was from the university of california, I'd take his findings with a quarry full of salt.

Talkingmouse · 26/10/2014 11:53

www.investopedia.com/terms/s/skirtlengththeory.asp

When confidence and excitement are high, skirts become shorter, is the theory. If you track the length of skirts, you can spot increasing/decreasing consumer confidence before official data, and make investments before the rest of the market.

A bit tenuous to say the least...

YesIDidMeanToBeSoWoooooooode · 26/10/2014 12:16

Women (no matter their age, 16 or 60) can wear whatever the fuck they want walking wherever they want.

They could walk down the street in a short skirt, or in bra and knickers , or naked, and it doesn't give anyone the right to have sex with them. The only people responsible for rape are the men that rape.

If someone is the victim of sexual violence, it's not because of "provocative" clothing or anything else, it's because they have met a sexual predator. If you are telling your children "don't wear that it's too revealing" what message are you sending to them? They are provoking men who just won't be able to control themselves. How insulting to every single male, a good number of whom AREN'T rapists. How insulting to your daughters to imply it will be THEIR fault they are attacked.

My daughters can wear whatever the hell the like, their bodies are their own whether they are revealed or hidden.

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