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oogling young girls

804 replies

typingtoofast · 25/10/2014 22:08

Myself and my partner have decided to give it another try. He is convinced im the woman for him and has apologised for his regular selfish episodes where I have to explain to him that his behaviour is not condusive to a healthy relationship. Ultimately he's selfish. But he has improved and I have seen a loving, attentive and kind man. I was beginning to think that this was a great new start for our relationship and was glad to give it another shot as had missed him when I decided to end it. The break gave me and him perspective and what was important to us both. All that aside.
We were out today in town and a group of young girls (16yr olds I'd say)were obviously heading off on a halloween party night. I had mentioned how inappropriate I thought the outfits were as they were extreamely revealing. You get the picture. In my mind I'm also thinking how they will catch their death of cold!
He views the girls and says they're out for a good night and laughs. He almost snapped his neck gawping. Now nobody could help it as the outfits as i said were ott. But then he replies they'll be teasing the boys later in the nightclub. I reply yes and that's just wrong.
I have in hay days worn revealing outfits and I replied that I wasn't necessarily looking for sex I was I suppose just rebelling and trying to be adult like.
He replied but kids these days are having sex younger, just look at them,look at the one in the tiny outfit. She'll be having sex tonight with the way she's carrying on.
I told him that's enough, that he looked like a sleezy man oogling.
He replied oh to be back that age again. I'd love to meet her out. Imagine the fun.
I was appalled by two things. One him visioning and two saying it in front of me.
Is this normal? I was disgusted and chose to say nothing for the rest of the evening. But then I think what if middle aged men say these things in their head. He's stupid/honest enough to say it out to me.
Now I'm thinking I am with a sleezy middle aged man and worries me that he would think like that.

OP posts:
HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:46

that's a good point, clog

how many times does the victim of a plain old "assault" get asked what they did to deserve it ?

StillFrigginRexManningDay · 26/10/2014 16:46

A lot of women have had the pleasure (Hmm ) of men making hurtful, rude or threatening things when their advances have been rejected. A culture of being entitled to whichever woman a man wants has developed rather rapidly.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:48

I have often mused that the more extreme forms of catcalling and "get a load of that lads" comments are a form of male sexual bonding Wink

StillFrigginRexManningDay · 26/10/2014 16:49

I mean rather rapidly amongst young men/teenagers, I know for eons men have felt entitled to women.

emotionsecho · 26/10/2014 16:49

dadwood your second example is back to the old chestnut "men can't help /control themselves" so who should be responsible for that?

The only way to stop this is for men to demand their fellow man stops behaving and thinking in this way, accept responsibility, challenge and change.

dadwood · 26/10/2014 16:49

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker

"get a load of that lads" is certainly not my style.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:51

A guy once told me I must be a lesbian when I rejected his clumsy and disrespectful sexual advances

the ultimate insult isn't it, to deny a bloke access to your sex organs

dadwood · 26/10/2014 16:51

dadwood your second example is back to the old chestnut "men can't help /control themselves" so who should be responsible for that?

Men should obviously and society

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:52

glad to hear it dadwood

MyEmpireOfDirt · 26/10/2014 16:53

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 26/10/2014 16:54

This reply has been deleted

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HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:55

This is a bit of a tangent, but I once caused mayhem on here by suggesting that those typical "male rights of passage" bollocks like visiting a strip club, hiring a prostitute to attend your stag party to service the gentlemen and attendance at LDC's are actually examples of latent homosexuality

dadwood · 26/10/2014 16:56

I am really sorry if I have been construed to be victim blaming in any way, I am just trying to understand the ground. I don't think like an entitled man.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 26/10/2014 16:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyEmpireOfDirt · 26/10/2014 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 16:58

If someone is willing to listen, I don't consider them "entitled". My Dh has dropped some clangers over the years by not really thinking through his stance (as have I) but he accepts he can never be an authority on the experiences of women.

MaryGorddon · 26/10/2014 17:13

Oh can we resurrect your "male rights of passage" thread AF?

CurtWild · 26/10/2014 17:13

tippytap I find your post highly insulting to say that I would blame my daughters if they were raped. How dare you. I simply said that I will teach them common sense. You have twisted my words to horrifying effect. The fact remains we do not live in a perfect world. I'm fully aware rape happens no matter what you're wearing.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 17:21

it was somewhere midthread, Mary, in the annals of MN bunfights Smile

StillFrigginRexManningDay · 26/10/2014 17:22

Oh I've been called a lesbian too because I declined an invitation to suck a dickheads cock. Actually I wasn't invited I was told I was dying to blow him. Yes I must have been giving off weird vibes as I was trying to get a straw for my drink off the barmsn as dickhead was standing beside me.

neiljames77 · 26/10/2014 17:22

To clear a few things up ;
Yes I have had mates /workmates who have displayed misogynist /racist /homophobic remarks. I've challenged them and (temporarily) shut them up.
I was also referring to dadswoods second paragraph in all this.
I don't think and act like an entitled male. I have never wolf whistled or shouted inappropriate remarks to women.
If the general consensus is that I'm a rape apologist or victim blamer, then just say so and I'll leave the forum for good.
I know I'm not.
That's probably not good enough though.

dadwood · 26/10/2014 17:24

StillFrigginRexManningDay I have been called gay for splitting up with a girl. I expect this isn't common, but it happened to me

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 17:27

If the general consensus is that I'm a rape apologist or victim blamer, then just say so and I'll leave the forum for good.

don't such a passive aggressive whinger, neil. It's most unbecoming. I disagree with some of what you have said, but I defend your right to say it (and have it demolished), blatant misogyny aside

your views are mainstream views, no-one has sad they are "out there" in any way

wouldn't you like to swim against the tide just a teeny bit, though

live dangerously, eh

piss your dickhead mates right off, could be more interesting than the usual footie chat over a pint

tippytap · 26/10/2014 17:28

Curt,

It's not 'common sense' to tell your daughters that what they wear will affect if they will be raped or not.

By doing this you ARE telling your daughters that they are at least partially at fault for an assault when this is simply not the case.

The only way to avoid being raped is to not be in the company of a rapist.

If clothing were to blame, you'd have men running amok in swimming pools or on beaches.

Rape is about power and entitlement. Not about clothes or getting drunk, or walking outside alone. Why can't you see that?

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 26/10/2014 17:28

or your glass of Lambrusco, of course. I wouldn't want to be accused of stereotyping Wink