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Original poster

Positive Self Talk- care to try?

120 replies

grumpasaur · 24/10/2014 23:33

Hello all!

I have no idea how to link to my other thread as I use MN on my mobile, but in short, I sought advice about how to reverse worrying behaviours I was seeing in myself around criticism of my self and others, obsessing over having a spotless show home, and generally feeling snippy and bitter.

Was given really good advice- one of which was to start forcing myself to practice positive rather than negative self talk.

So I start now. Every night for the next month I will come on and write down three things I am proud of- either daily accomplishments or longer term things.

Please do the same!

I am not brilliant at checking regularly, but will be on every evening at some point to add my three things (and read yours).

Anyone welcome!!

OP posts:
plus3 · 30/10/2014 23:18
  1. my bed
  2. my duvet
  3. my pillow
FelixTitling · 30/10/2014 23:21

Only 3 days till we go back to school and work. I have mixed feelings about it really, there have been some stressful moments, but on the whole I think we've held up quite well. I felt supported by the thread; it came at a good time.

  1. got to the dc's activity early today and really enjoyed watching them take part. Very proud of them and told them so.
  2. breathed deeply as my cousin let her toddler rub banana into my furniture and carpet and focused on enjoying the visit rather than the urge to get a cloth.
  3. Made the effort tonight to get everything ready for tomorrow so I'm hopefully not having a last minute panic.

Hat's off to everyone who's tackled a pumpkin with their bare hands this week. The inside of those things are gross! Halloween Smile

Thankyou grump that was a lovely thing to say.

Original poster
grumpasaur · 31/10/2014 01:03

Hi All- will post more tomorrow, as hopefully we have some lovely new people and some excellent updates from some lovely old people (and no, that isn't ageist).

So my three today:

  1. made delicious risotto for dinner
  2. did day five of thirty day yoga challenge -- didn't enjoy the class I chose, but persevered anyway
  3. carved pumpkins with DH...really had fun actually.
OP posts:
Original poster
grumpasaur · 31/10/2014 01:03

Hi All- will post more tomorrow, as hopefully we have some lovely new people and some excellent updates from some lovely old people (and no, that isn't ageist).

So my three today:

  1. made delicious risotto for dinner
  2. did day five of thirty day yoga challenge -- didn't enjoy the class I chose, but persevered anyway
  3. carved pumpkins with DH...really had fun actually.
OP posts:
Hueycool · 31/10/2014 07:59

Littlemiss, I hope you manage today ok.

GarlicGhoul · 31/10/2014 10:33

I just love reading everyone's updates Grin Thanks

Yesterday was fairly crap - I've had a demanding (by my standards) week and the reaction's still going on, after three days of being virtually immobile. My 3 things for yesterday will have to be:

  1. Accepted that I need a long recovery after effort.
  2. Cooked myself a proper meal, and ate it.
  3. Rested.

If I can have a [4] just for today, I'll go for being up before lunch time!

Scottishmumofgirls · 31/10/2014 19:23

Horrible work day. Work issue hasn't been resolved. I've spent a good part of the day having palpitations. Despite all of this:

  1. I decided to sit down, eat cake and enjoy my colleagues for the last 10 minutes of the day.
  2. Made an effort with Halloween, we've had a fun evening.
  3. Sending husband out for take away and wine.
Glabella · 31/10/2014 20:20

DD has been a tired and grumpy bedtime refusing nightmare for the last 3 days, and dp is away so I just want to stay in bed. However, today I have...

  1. Made an extra effort to take dd to a halloween fun day and joined in the dancing and singing.
  2. Made an extra effort to get home in time to meet a friend for coffee, which did me good.
  3. Took dd trick or treating for the first time which was scary as I have horrid anxiety and don't know the neighbours. She loved it, and is now asleep, happy and full of sweets after only a short battle over bedtime.

Today was a good day. :-)

LittleMissDisorganized · 31/10/2014 20:30

hueycool thank you, I had an ok day, I did myself justice professionally; I was honest about the emotional toll my work takes on me; I have not fallen in to a pile of biscuits this evening.
Night ladies, hope all the sugar-high-worn-out little ones sleep well.

nicecupofteaforme · 31/10/2014 21:19

Really need to join you guys on this as am going downhill!

  1. Organised dissertation topic and managed to focus in all lectures today
  2. When wank face DP said 'shall we leave it tonight' as he was in a wound up mood i said yes! Usually would have persuaded him to stay. Now have my lovely home and the to myself
  3. DS being very excited about Halloween goodies¬
FelixTitling · 31/10/2014 23:36

Well, I am knackered after a long day - but in a good way.

  1. dh took time off today to watch the dc's showing off their skills on the last day of their half term activity course. We went for brunch afterwards which was nice.
  2. both of us dealt calmly with dd's anxiety about the Halloween party.
  3. survived and enjoyed the party despite twice the anticipated guests arriving and having forgotten to buy any drink! Had a great night.

Hope you all saved yourselves a little secret stash of Haribo. I'm going to tuck into mine now with a cup of tea Halloween Grin

plus3 · 01/11/2014 02:08

Will catch up properly tomorrow...

  1. being told I have lovely handwriting
  2. an evening out with friends
  3. DH shaving off his beard !!!
Original poster
grumpasaur · 01/11/2014 10:58

Welcome little miss and nice cup of tea!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpasaur · 01/11/2014 11:00

Obrigada and no regrets- welcome!

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpasaur · 01/11/2014 11:05

Hello all!

Welcome to all the new people- there are too many people now for me to respond to all individually, but I promise I am reading them all.

I am really proud of myself and for all of us for doing this- it really sounds like we are all in similar positions mental health wise, even though our lives are all very different. I am glad we can all come together to share the good bits of ourselves, rather than focusing always on the bad (well, I do that, dunno about y'all!).

So my three for yesterday:

  1. had dinner with old friend who is having a hard time. Normally I push her to talk about things because I think it does her good. This time I stepped back and allowed her to direct chat, and oddly, she opened up so much more. So that made me happy (sad for her too).

  2. I only momentarily flipped out at DH when he peeked in a bag (not deliberately, I was rummaging through) with his birthday present in it. I then realised we could turn it into a positive so I have it to him early, and he loved it so much... He wanted to wait to wear it (watch) but I encouraged him and he was obviously a happy man- so that also made me happy.

  3. didn't take a work situation personally, when I easily good have. Long boring story but outcome meant I went home happy rather than anxious!

OP posts:
MamaMed · 01/11/2014 12:40

  1. Being civil with DH despite being upset with him
  1. Waking up with a smile at 6.30am for DD
  1. Making freezer food (have been meaning to in ages).

Now need to have that important chat with DH ... Confused

nicecupofteaforme · 01/11/2014 12:53

Decided I might do this twice a day on weekends cause getting through them is harder than weekdays. So this morning

  1. Had lovely long sleep til 8.30am
  2. Went to the gym for first time in 2 weeks
  3. Thinking positive and practical thoughts about how to move forward from the utterly f'ed up relationship i am half in, half out
Original poster
grumpasaur · 01/11/2014 13:09

Nice cup - that seems sensible.

I hope you decide which way to go relationship wise. Nothing good ever comes from being neither here nor there.

OP posts:
nicecupofteaforme · 01/11/2014 17:40

This afternoons/evenings:

  1. happily agreed when he said we could no longer be together [again]
  2. found some music that makes me happy
  3. just about to tuck into my home made chicken stew and dumplings
GarlicNovember · 01/11/2014 18:42

Blimey, everybody's making hugely constructive moves! Except me Flowers

  1. I have accepted my need to recuperate, and not apologising for it to anyone or to myself.
  2. Did some washing, had a big shower, washed my hair.
  3. Went out to the shops. I overspent. I'm withholding judgement on myself for this Confused
Scottishmumofgirls · 01/11/2014 19:07
  1. Spent a couple of hours writing a presentation this afternoon. It made me feel good to have at least written the PowerPoint section. I don't like working over the weekends but on this occasion it was the right thing to do.
  2. Got the girls out of the door to dancing without any shouting. Had a much better morning as a result.
  3. Got through a pile of ironing, which makes me feel a lot better as it is getting on top of me and I'm going to have a nice relaxing evening now.
LittleMissDisorganized · 01/11/2014 22:06

nicecup that sounds huge, I hope you are ok.
Garlic the actual things we are all doing aren't important - I've been back working for 4 months after 3yrs out with ill health - and so I do get it. But the changing the way we look is important whatever the situation, and so I hope you aren't feeling too discouraged, whatever your circumstances.

I am feeling a lot better today, and so I guess I'm proud that for the last 10 days of feeling low I've just plodded through and not panicked. I'm not getting ill, just a difficult week or two.
I went out this evening despite feeling anxious. I am listening a bit better to my DH, I think.

GarlicNovember · 01/11/2014 22:54

That is amazing, LittleMiss, well done you! Plodding through is an aspiration of mine currently (argh) and you're right, not panicking is a very big part of finding the capacity to 'plod'. That's what I was coming back here to post, actually - I've done a decent job with the help of alcohol of talking myself down from the mental whirlwind of "so much to do! must start now!! where to start?? it's all too much!!!"

Hmm
  1. I'm half-cut, am going to watch last night's East Enders and go to sleep. This is self-care for today.
plus3 · 01/11/2014 23:24

Garlic I haven't achieved anything particularly huge....but I am trying to adjust my mindset. Despite the many good things in my life , my self esteem seems to have disappeared! My small aim is that this thread will help restore some ... Smile

  1. baked a cake - apparently it's lovely!
  2. watched Strictly with DD
  3. lots of washing dry - outside on the line. (I know...)
GarlicNovember · 01/11/2014 23:31

YY, Plus3. One of the things I had to do in therapy was to keep a book in my bag, where I wrote down all the positive feedback I got every day. Some days I'd be bowled over with praise, other days it was just the ticket collector giving me a big smile. Noting it here's a great idea, too - it all adds up :)

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