Positive Self Talk- care to try?

[grumpasaur]

Hello all!

I have no idea how to link to my other thread as I use MN on my mobile, but in short, I sought advice about how to reverse worrying behaviours I was seeing in myself around criticism of my self and others, obsessing over having a spotless show home, and generally feeling snippy and bitter.

Was given really good advice- one of which was to start forcing myself to practice positive rather than negative self talk.

So I start now. Every night for the next month I will come on and write down three things I am proud of- either daily accomplishments or longer term things.

Please do the same!

I am not brilliant at checking regularly, but will be on every evening at some point to add my three things (and read yours).

Anyone welcome!!

My three for yesterday:

1. Booked a hair colour for exactly 8 weeks after my last hair colour. This sounds ridiculous, but as someone who is notorious for a bad re-growth, I feel this is a step forward!

2. Did about 15-20 minutes of gentle yoga when I got home from a 14 hour day, even though I just wanted to eat my dinner and go to sleep.

3. Took today off as TOIL (but did this yesterday so it counts), so I could apply for a new job. Boundaries, baby!

Really live reading everyone's positives/things to be proud of. :-)

Thanks for the advice grump re yoga. Sadly in live in the back of beyond so choice is limited. There is a local 'yoga' class but a) i am too poor to go and b) tHe instructor is multi purpose (and not very good)

You are right, I will get there with the husband. Each day that goes on is supporting my views.

Notta- ah, yes, that makes it more difficult.

In that case, I would go online and buy yourself a decent mat, a strap, and a few yoga blocks. Then look online for a BEGINNERS HATHA DVD that gets good reviews, and preferably that has a few different programmed that you don't get bored. What you want is clear instruction with different options, eg "if you can't touch your toes, place your hands on your knees and focus on straightening your back rather than curving it".

I think there are some sites you can find which allow you to stream different yoga videos as well?

grumpasaur will follow your yoga advice - I need to start..

1. went to see the Poppies at the Tower...so poignant - we really are so lucky
2. didn't lose DC in the heaving crowds (!)
3. DS asked why I was always in good mood - it has made me unbelievably happy to know that my self-doubt/insecurities don't appear apparent to him

This is helping

Bit of a testing day for me as I have been with relatives who like to dwell on the negative (maybe I should tell them about this thread). We all usually come back more than a little stressed, but today I felt like I took charge a little more rather than just being pulled down by it all. So...

1. I facilitated my children's choices of activity today (swimming) instead of expecting them to please everyone else as usual. They had a ball, as did the others who also then chose to join in.
2. My sister has a lot of issues around food which normally severely influence where we go to eat and what we have. However today I facilitated my dad's choice of restaurant, and ignored failed to notice my sisters 'food rules'.
3. I also managed to meet a friend for coffee this morning. We were in the same place for only about 50 minutes and I nearly didn't bother. Was glad I did as it was nice to catch up and we've now made plans for a proper catch up in a couple of weeks.

grump through France and Spain, still lots of planning to do. Looking forward to that as much as the actual holiday! Good luck with the job app.

May I join this thread, it seems to have come in the nick of time for me.

1. I saw the doctor today who listened to me and finally made a referral to the mental health team.

1. I have laughed with my DC, after yesterday it felt so good.

1. I have started the prep work for painting DS2s room. He is so excited.

plus3 I would love to see the Poppies, it looks so humbling and an incredible memorial.

BFU it is amazing....just don't go in half term week!!!

Plus3- great! I swear by yoga. In fact I've just written a blog about my return to the mat...can try and figure out how to post one day. Definitely get a good teacher to start if you are able to.

I really want to see the poppies... I can't believe I've not been yet.

Felix, yours sound great- sounds like lots of really good boundary setting, which is definitely something I can learn from.

Oh France and Spain, how lovely!! Love both places. I know it's up north, but I have heard that San Sebastian is actually a wonderful place to visit, great food and not so touristy. I've been around a lot of Spain and France, but SS is on my list. Would highly recommend Avignon if you can get there, and the Loire Valley!

BFU...welcome! So pleased you decided to join us.

I read your thread yesterday, and actually wanted to post...unfortunately I was on my phone, and what I wanted to say was to cumbersome to get out over the mobile app. Suffice to say- please do remember that you will not always feel low, that your family clearly love you and want you home safe and sound where you belong, and that it IS your illness and it is NOT you making you feel that way. I'm so glad you are getting the right support. Sometimes just knowing that help is coming is enough to hold on.

My heart was really breaking for you so I'm so glad that laughter found its way into your heart today.

My three for today

1. successfully dealt with teary and tired DD, without shouting or crying myself
2. cleaned out the rabbit lols
3. have not smoked all evening, and feel extremely strong

My three things today:

1. started my day with lemon juice and hot water (rather than coffee). I've heard this is really healthy but haven't been able to break the wake up / put coffee in hand habit until now.

2. started this job application...gosh it's tiresome...but have persevered and will be able to submit tomorrow

3. called a friend I've been meaning to speak to for about two weeks. absolutely wonderful friend who always raises my spirits...glad we connected and I made time to speak / walk rather than run late / jump on bus / put her off again...

I DIDN'T manage to do day 3 of my 30 day yoga challenge....though I sat on the floor to write my application, so maybe that counts? Determined NOT to let it deter me from continuing.

Noregrets- well done, especially on the not smoking!

Could I join in please, I've been struggling with depression for a couple of years and some positive self talk/a positive kick up the arse is needed. Here are mine

1. I managed to diffuse an epic toddler tantrum from dd yesterday with no shouting or bribery.
2. I am looking after myself better this week- taking painkillers and resting instead of struggling on to the point of exhaustion (I have endometriosis)
3. I have been opening up to my friends instead of always being 'fine'. This is a big step for me, I find it very hard.

Not a great day today, but I have found 3:

1. Dealt with a broken boiler and missing warranty. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow.
2. Introduced the dc's to Bread (TV series). Made us all laugh.
3. Got all the Halloween stuff out and did an online shop ready for our party on Friday.

Hi glabella I have endo too, so know how that is. Hope you feel better for resting.

Felix rubbish day for me too.....maybe the weather or the stupid secondary school application process

Anyway...

1. finally submitted DS secondary school application...trying to be positive about this, have gambled on an out of catchment school as 1st choice. Fingers crossed.
2. paid various bills & it struck me that we could do this without thinking too hard about where the money needed to come from. Long time coming.
3. DH said he loved me. Always nice

Great idea! There have been family arguments lately and my anxiety is rising, it has been better for several years now and I don't want to get dragged down again.

1. I have been in touch with several friends today and had a nice giggle with them.

2. I had fun with my beautiful dc, putting them to bed and they cuddled me and told me they loved me.

3. my husband is on my side completely through the problems we have been having with his family. He is a good man, the best and I'm so proud of him.

Can i join in too please?

1. Made two phone calls today I've been putting off for ages
2. Did pumpkin carving with the kids without getting grumpy at the mess!
3. Sent my ex a reasonable email (rather the one in my head!!)

1. I thanked grump for starting this thread
2. I marked my place because I need to re-start this.
3. I went to bed (in a minute!)

Can I join! I'm so pleased that I've achieved so much this week. I've met a friend for lunch, finished (nearly) my final assignment for a course I've been reluctantly doing and I've advertised a whole range of things on Ebay and Scpock (already sold 2 items). I've been feeling really low recently so I'm very pleased with my motivation to get things done.

Glabella- welcome! Hope you're feeling a bit better after resting. Self care is sooooo important (thus, this thread!).

Felix- you sound like an awesome mom (mum?). Halloween party sounds amazing.

Plus3- Hooray for easy bill payments!!!!! We had that feeling for the first time about 9 months ago...it was AMAZING. It's only been up from there, too, so that bodes really well.

Strawberry Mouse- welcome! Sorry to hear anxiety is threatening to rear its ugly head. I call my anxiety 'the fear' and find yoga does help to keep it where it belongs (far, far away from me!).

Wine & Rugby- welcome! pumpkin carving is so fun, even despite the mess! So well done. I am doing mine tonight (and I don't even have kids), but then I am Canadian, which means I was born with Halloween in my blood!

Garlic Ghoul- thank you, and welcome! hope you got to bed!

Huey Cool- Welcome, and well done on your assignment. So tedious but suspect will be worth it in the end.

I got home too late (and drunk, and then had a row with my DH) last night to post, so here are my three for yesterday:

1. Did a 45 minute Ashtanga Yoga practice, despite busy day and muscle fatigue

2. Found it EASIER, and got into a nice flow

3. Pushed self to get out and meet friend, as planned, even though I wanted to cancel and stay horizontal on the couch after a busy day. Of course, had a lovely time (and got tipsy).

Note to self: next time you get drunk, don't try and make plans with DP and then yell at him for not being able to read your mind.

So point 3b) Apologised to DH for drunken row.

Can I join?

My 3 positive things that I did for myself today are :

Made appointment to get my nails done.
Made appointment to get my hair cut and coloured.
Dressed properly for work (have been known to come in in tracksuit as there is no dress code here) but decided to dress properly today, as the saying goes "dress for the job you want, not the job you have"

Hi everyone. I love this thread :-)
Today I have:

1. not smoked, today or yesterday! I gave up for a couple of years, but slipped back following divorce and all sorts of crap. Shocked how quickly I was addicted already. Feeling positive.
2. making lots of constructive steps towards our big relocation. Helping declutter today.
3. despite feeling short of time, squeezed visit to old friend and a lovely chat

Sorry, I went AWOL. Had a bad day at work and tomorrow will be worse, so I thought this might be a good idea.

1. Had a really positive therapy session with a patient. It reminded me why I do my job.
2. Carved a pumpkin for my children. It made them happy.
3. Went swimming and felt better for it.

Grumpasaur well done for starting this thread - such a positive thing to do. I've had a difficult day and tomorrow will likely be worse just as Scottishmum just said, so yes, now is just the right time to invest in positive self talk, hope it's ok to join a little belatedly.

1. I was caring, professional and pleasant at work despite feeling like hiding/crying in my personal life
2. I took the time to ask my colleagues how they were and what they thought.
3. I thanked my DH for making tea since I was late home - not holding over yesterday's hurtful conversation, or the fact I usually do it. Behaving with kindness when I want to nurse anger or resentment has dispersed those feelings a bit.

Off to bed, crack of dawn start. Tomorrow has enough troubles of it's own,no point worrying about them, I'll see them when I get there!