ok...im obsessed!

[shade101]

I seriously have no clue whatsoever on what to do.

Met an absolute gorgeous man in a party, right away the chemistry between us was unbelievable. He literally wouldn't take his eyes off me. So, after party, we kissed, exchanged contacts and we parted ways. I couldn't stop thinking about him all week(yes we were texting and all).
Second week, date and clubbing. We kissed and i couldn't resist spending the night with him. I never wanted a shag cause i was scared he'd abandon me after, so i was honest with him that i have trust and insecurity issues from my past and he suggested we have a "teaser!) and take things slow.

Holy Moses! did i ever hear from him again?? No. I'm fuming, confused, in-love, obsessed and I don't know what on earth I should do about it. He ignored a couple of my calls and texts...its been 2wks now. I just want him back, perhaps for a full shag and call it off.I need to finish what we started.
Pleeease tell me the hell I should do....i feel like I've lost it all. He never said why he just wont talk to me. Anything I could message him to get him just to talk? Its crushed my self esteem, I cant move on until I get what I want. May be i have a problem.....who knows. Shit, I'm fucked.

He's Just Not That Into You

In and out once? That's just bizarre.

I know I'm old and have been out of the dating scene for decades but do people who are looking to build a relationship sleep with someone on a first date? Obviously if it's just lust and/or a bit of fun I can understand it but not if you think that this is the one.

I slept with my DP on our first date. I also slept with him on the second. We now live together. I really don't think the issue was when she slept with him/gave him a "teaser" I think its more that, as mentioned, she laid it on a bit heavily on their first date and also that he ultimately wasn't that into her.
Sleeping with people soon isn't a crime. At all.

In and out once ?

So all the risks associated with PIV but none of the benefits

What the Jeff ?

anyfucker

Aah didn't assume this topic will get this far?!

If I ever bump into him again perhaps I'll ask what he meant by "a teaser" ! I most probably got it wrong like ya'll trying to figure out.

I am human, bound to make mistakes just like everyone else. We live and learn, I have learnt. So please stop with the criticism and whatever else. It doesn't make me feel any better. Was only here to ask for help. I got it and I know what my problem it so I'll leave it as it is.

I totally feel for you OP, this happened to me so many times and I always wondered what I did wrong or could have done differently (answer: nothing). I didn't learn this until I met a guy who called me back when he said he would and listened to me when I said I wanted to take things slowly. (I didn't tell him why, just stated my wishes about not shagging right away) He said that was fine with him. We are now married and he's (mostly) awesome.
I'm only saying this to illustrate that you are absolutely right to take your time, don't have to tell any man why in the beginning.
Don't give this guy any more of your self worth! Men aren't complicated in relationships they vote with their attention. Wait for someone to give you theirs and don't go begging.

Thank you nosleeptilever

I hope to find me that gentleman who 'll love me at my highest and lowest and vice versa.

Its indeed a great thing to find the-one! I'm pleased for you.

I think you had a bit of a rough ride on this thread OP. I don't think calling you "weird" is helpful or called-for. As Dr Seuss said: “We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” Better luck next time.

Not read the full thread OP but with the benefit of extensive dating experience, I can assure you that this has been A Lucky Escape. He sounds callous, manipulative and cowardly. Not someone to care about or love (or be loved by). It's sadly true that some men (and women) are brilliant at presenting themselves as someone they're not. Especially over text messages - it's too easy. Next time, I would take it genuinely slowly, especially given your fragilities. Perhaps it would be better not to talk about trust issues etc. until you can see some evidence that it's worth sharing that. It's not first/second/third date material IMO. But whatever happened this time, it's worked out for you since you've got away without having your heart broken. Falling in love disaster=recoverable. Actually being in love disaster=months/years of work.

Thank you BigFootFiles and blanketyblank