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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

999 replies

Mouseface · 14/10/2014 11:20

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!) Grin

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

    • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
    • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
70hours · 24/10/2014 07:52

Good morning - day 12 - :)

spanna41 · 24/10/2014 08:17

Wry you are so strong and so brave, well done darling. You have an amazing inner strength, you are wise, sensitive, funny and simply an wonderful woman. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. I'm glad your friends are rallying around you, accept their help and love, you need it right now. Hugs to you lovely lady Flowers

Day 3 Smile

aliasjoey · 24/10/2014 10:58

wry I'm so glad to hear you've kicked him out, you should be proud of yourself, yes it took a while but that's because he had sucked out all your confidence. You've been so brave Flowers

Sorry I used Little to get to you, but I knew where your heart lay and what would open your eyes! Plus I think there genuinely was a chance he could have hurt her ('accidentally' of course) So glad it's just you and her now.

dementedma · 24/10/2014 11:46

wry bloody well done you. So proud of you.
You are an inspiration and I am so happy for you that your day has come.
Mine will one day...

beachestoexplore · 24/10/2014 12:05

Wry sweetheart, thank you for checking in and letting us know how
you are. I was appalled and horrified on your behalf, my heart is warmed to think you see him for the twatish cunt that he really is Angry You are such a special lady, so thoughtful and warm. He has tried to take advantage of your kindness and exploit it and he is NOT worthy of you. Flowers.

On a slightly more selfish note, my visitors leave today. I have been drinking, most nights this week, just fallen into the temptation to relax a bit. Have managed to avoid any direct disagreements but have felt unnaturally stiff navigating many difficult conversations. Dreading feeling guilty but also really looking forward to them leaving. Think I may sink into a bootle or two over the weekend but aim to shake it off after that. Feel sad and frustrated that a conversation with my own mum is a mixture of defences and lies. There just seems to be nothing authentic anymore, if I don't agree with her current version of historical events then I am cast as the malicious ungrateful child. I would hate that to happen between me and my beautiful boys. Sad. Even though it is only one more day it feels like a mountain to climb. listening to why everyone else in the world is wrong and how her poor sensitive soul does so well to cope with it all. Hmm

So glad to have this place to come and vent. A good moan has helped me keep a grip Smile

Spanna day 3 good going peanut, hope all is ok with you xxx

phrase love that you are sharing your pregnancy with us I am so excited for you. Smile The booze cocoon is a good description, the idea of stepping into a fuzzy softer state. Although we know that it doesn't always work, it is still very seductive.

I am going to post for fear of losing it all, love to all of you. Keep on trucking babes xxx

aliasjoey · 24/10/2014 12:37

Day 7. I am wobbling a bit, cause it's the weekend and it's been a long week.... but I really would like to stick it at. Not sure why now - maybe I need to go back and read my list of reasons.

ma how are you doing? I think your DS is the same age as my DD (12) ? What do you do with him during the holidays now?

We had a big row with DD last night because she doesn't want to spend every day with her grandma (TBH I don't blame her, MILs idea of an exciting day out is trying a new shade of highlights at the hairdressers Grin )

But we don't think she's mature enough to stay home alone. We thought she had organised to meet up with a friend, but the arrangement fell through. Some of her friends are more reliable than others; for some reason DD prefers the younger, less mature ones.

I think if she had a plan (eg. go swimming with a friend) it would be okay; but just sitting around the house would lead to trouble. Sigh

aliasjoey · 24/10/2014 14:37

marfisa

I’m not the best person to ask about makeup, you could try getting a free lesson from someone at those beauty counters. I recommend going after you've already been using some stuff for a while so you have more of an idea of what you’re trying to achieve. I also found youtube videos on how best to apply makeup very useful.

Eyeliner – sorry, can’t help as I've never been able to use it

I started from thinking good skin was the base. So after many years of trying various exfoliating scrubs, masks etc (which mostly didn't work or irritated my skin) I've finally found a facial peel (Boots No 7) which I use twice a week and it really makes a difference. I was so impressed that I bought other No 7 products, including one for dark spots but I’m not hopeful (tried those in the past and they haven’t worked) You do have to try different things to see what suits, and unfortunately money is wasted on products that aren't right. But I console myself by saying its only money I’d have wasted on alcohol anyway.

I found No 7 eyeshadow ‘crayons’ these are really easy to use stick-type things, they are expensive but so far I've bought 3! Mascara I’m struggling to find one that doesn't smudge, eventually I just got a cheaper ‘waterproof’ one which is okay (still not perfect, I’m checking it several times a day…)

And oh yeah, lipsticks again No 7 I use a double-ended one which coats the lipstick in gloss and it stays on. I just hate lipstick always coming off.

Moisturiser I was using Clinique but find it keeps flaking… maybe I need one for dry skin…might try No 7 again.

Foundation I am trying out BB creams as they are so light, don’t look overdone or OTT. Again the expense of trying out new ones, but at least mistakes aren't so obvious.

Eyebrows, I found youtube videos or websites really helpful for this. It’s practice I guess. I've bought more makeup in the last 3 months than in my whole life! I feel so flattered to be giving ‘advice’ about makeup, even though I really know nothing! Grin

dementedma · 24/10/2014 18:51

Hey joey yes, dh is 12. He has just had two weeks half term. He sleeps most of the morning, plays his Xbox, goes to grandmas. Dh is on night shift just noe so he is home during the day albeit asleep! I wish Ds would do more and go to clubs or friends but he just stays in.

aliasjoey · 24/10/2014 20:51

ma it is a difficult age isn't it... Luckily, down south, they only get 1 week half term!

Isindethickofit · 25/10/2014 09:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aliasjoey · 25/10/2014 11:13

isinde ! How are you doing? We missed you! How are the twins getting on at school?

70hours · 25/10/2014 12:20

Day 13 :)

dementedma · 25/10/2014 13:50

indie ya old tart! How are you?
70 that's bloody brilliant! I was AF last night thanks to a dose of galloping gut rot...groan. Gerald is wind powered today. I'll take a seat at the back...

70hours · 25/10/2014 16:51

Lol Ma - I had that a couple of weeks ago - nasty :(.

What I want to know is - WHY haven't I lost any weight !!!!!!!!!

PhraseAndFable · 25/10/2014 17:55

Hi all - just a quick one to say I'll be away for the next week, so I won't be checking in again until next weekend. Wishing you all a good week!

lookingforhope · 25/10/2014 18:16

Hi all

70 Well done on day 13, go you!

Marfisa - here is my eyeliner tip ... I find powder eyeshadow, applied with a very slim art paintbrush (get a good quality one) or angled eyeliner applicator brush works better than crayon eyeliner once you leave your 30's. It doesn't bleed into lines or look harsh, and also it is much kinder to the fine skin around the eyes and doesn't drag or cause lines. And it doesn't clump. Plus, you have a greater choice of colours - with your colouring (which sounds like mine until I went blonde due to badger like grey stripes appearing!) a warm dark brown would look lovely, or a mossy green, or aubergine. Just not pearlised. I now use a charcoal grey one. Also agree with Joey about BB creams - they are a revelation! And make your skin feel moisturised too.

Why how are you getting on honey? Having quality time with your friends and Little I hope.

Isinde hello, welcome back!

Spanna how are you lovely? Day 5 now is it? Did you ever read 'Little Lies' by Lianne Moriarty? What did you think? I am loving 'Gone Girl'. Though it is giving me some appalling ideas (mwah, hah, haaaa)

Beaches - are you breathing a sigh of relief now the visitors are gone? Hope you are enjoying a relaxing weekend, and well done for coping!

Ma - half term here too. Only one week. I find boys are not as good at organising social stuff as girls, although ds has surprised me this holiday by being out two days on the trot with different friends, not asking for a lift, or extra money, and arriving home safe - today with a very nice new coat bought with birthday vouchers which came with free trackies! But when he was 12 I had to organise everything for him or he wouldn't move. Dd on the other hand has so many friends from her new high school I can't keep track any more. She is off out with them tomorrow and I am feeling very wobbly as she is still my baby, but can't keep her locked in the house, and I remember when I was her age just lying to get round restrictions, so would rather she felt she could be honest and I know where she is.

Grumpy wankbadger is really annoying me at the moment. He never wants to spend any time with us, snaps at us all the time and last week asked me for money to pay for printing for a job he's doing, because he hadn't been organised enough to get a cheque countersigned by his business partner. I said no but then felt guilty and he sorted it out anyway, but am so sick of him asking to 'borrow' money I never get back

Our new job descriptions came out yesterday - not only is it based 40 miles away from our current office, but looks a nightmare - hardly based on our current skill sets and very few staff left. So looks like I am facing redundancy and yet wankbadger (and his family) show no interest in my predicament but are relying on me to get a job at the same salary level. He hasn't once suggested he find more paid work to contribute to the household expenses and gets furious if I try to bring it up. ('don't make this my problem, don't try to take it out on me cos you work for tossers' etc, etc) Angry Angry.

I am very jealous of even my colleagues who are in the same boat as at least they have solvent and supportive husbands rather than bad tempered self-entitled cocklodgers. What could be an opportunity to try another career just feels like a trap.

Not drinking loads as too busy, but have instead developed an unhealthy relationship with chocolate. It's just so hard sometimes to get out of bed and motivate myself - so not really exercising either.

I just need a kick up the arse really. Need to get fit, get a new job, lose weight, organise my finances, buy a new car and kick out wankbadger. One day... just no idea when (or if, or how) I can do it. Confused

dementedma · 25/10/2014 20:12

One day hope.
Still got gut rot and feeling pretty crap here. What are you all up to tonight?

aliasjoey · 25/10/2014 20:57

ma sorry you're feeling rough Sad at least you get an extra hour in bed tonight

I'm just reading, surfing, arguing with DD and desperately trying to finish my crochet. DH is out, and usually I would have got myself a drink tonight but am on day 8 and not going to give in (yet)

dementedma · 25/10/2014 21:07

Day 8 is brilliant joey. Cant remember last time I got that far.

lookingforhope · 25/10/2014 21:07

I have just watched Dr Who. I don't like Mr Pink. And have been eating chocolate chip shortbreads made by dd, which were amazing Smile

70hours · 25/10/2014 22:04

Tonight has been hard :(

dementedma · 26/10/2014 14:09

You OK 70?
Where is everyone this weekend? Maybe the clocks going back has messed with everyone's heads.

MaryMungoAndMidgies · 26/10/2014 14:46

Good morning all! I stuck myself down to work this weekend to keep me busy, and busy it was Grin. My pal is still here, she has done my washing and ironing and made something chickeny and divine smelling in the slow cooker while I did a food shop and then took Little for a leisurely stroll along our river walk. We have an appointment with Columbo this afternoon.

She is an absolute angel, and has been non judgey, lovely and supportive. She didn't like him from the get go, but hasn't once said I told you so. She is my horsey pal, sadly I'm not allowed to ride for a bit just in case I unsettle my face. But she smells of comfort, and haylage and horse and Little just adores her. I am still AF, kinda proud of that.

hope good afternoon lovely lass, loving your makeup tips! Will try the powder eyeliner, I use Bobbi Brown gel stuff at the mo, but it's a bit much for work, a nice subtle powder would give definition without looking too done.

However, your GWB is hacking me off, don't you be feeling guilty for not sorting his problem out that took strength of character and I for one am so proud of you. How shiting dare he ask you to help him when he won't return the favour? He deems it fine when he needs 'the family unit' but goes off in a little paddy when you suggest he helps out to keep your family afloat?

I hope something comes up for you work-wise, lovey. The collective on here wished ma happy and it was so, so also wishing you some happy. One day you will! You will. you will. xx

70!!!!!!!!!!! Are you on day 14? Bloody well done lass, have you managed to get out for a walk today? Blow away some cobwebs, that will help you through today. I'm all to buggery with putting in a night shift yesterday, so will be going for another walk shortly. I'm back on days tomorrow, so desperately trying to stay awake. I had a wee sleep this morning as I was dead on my feet. Have you some support today? Did you manage to get through last night okay? xx

spanna, how has your weekend been my darling? Have you had a good one? What's for tea? Thank you so much for your lovely message, it was like a great big squishy bosie, I am doing fine, my resolve is strengthening by the day. Sounds rubbish but every time I look in the mirror I get a little bit stronger. I haven't heard from him at all, but knew I wouldn't. I'm fine, work has been great and very supportive, and of course Little just looks at me and sees Mam, chief walker, feeder and poop pickerupper. My friend has brought over her GSD so she thinks it's Christmas having someone to clean her ears and sniff her bum. The pair of them are snoring at the minute, something I would be all raaaaargh at if it was a human, but think it's quite sweet really from dogs. I hope you are having a lovely weekend sweeptpea, thinking of you, xx

beaches lovely lass, you got through it. That's all that matters, I hope you've sagged into a jellyfish like state after holding yourself so stiff for so long. I wish you and the sofa to be as one, you made it! Do what you need to relax this weekend, I recommend a fine brisk walk, and carbs by the tonne. I think you did very well to get through without snapping, that's no mean feat when faced with bile and negativity. Although I hope for your sake there were some glimpses of lovely for you to latch on to. Have a bosie, a much deserved (((((((((FullFatOne))))))))))))). xx

joey, you get me. Thanks More makeup hints and tips! The style and beauty seats - Love it! Are you on day 9? Envy at the crocheting, I once saw a shawl that fitted through a teeny wedding ring. It was so fine and intricate, it was at an exhibition of wedding stuff, it was a wedding gift for someone many years ago. It looked like it was made of cloud it was so fine. What are you making? xx

ma Thanks for everything. I hope your galloping gut rot has slowed to a canter, trot or less.

dementedma · 26/10/2014 14:59

Hey wry good to see you and your epic posts! Just waiting for dd2s new boyfriend to arrive. First visit to the cowp flat and staying for dinner! We are all to be on our best behaviour. Have never seen the place this clean.
Am OK. Kinda lonely and missing a certain someone but life goes on.
mouse are you out there?
Thurso are you OK? What did you decide to do?
Venus have you been blown away? Its guy windy here in Fife today

70hours · 26/10/2014 15:10

Thanks Wry and Ma for asking about me - I'm ok - still sober (Just!) found this weekend harder than last weekend - bored.com and not feeling it. The thought of never drinking again seems so unrealistic and boring tbh - anyhow done shed loads of cleaning and ironing today - hope everyone else ok ----

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