The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

Afternoon all. I claim preggers rights on all green opal fruits. Unless you buggers get to them first . . .

37 days AF - still miss it occasionally, like when we had friends round this weekend or after I've had a hard day and am feeling tired, but it does pass after 45 minutes or so.

Been feeling a lot better over the last couple of days, though this morning I felt quite sick. I'm fantasising about a big bowl of soggy Fruit and Fibre cereal, so that's what's happening after I've typed this!

I'm quite stressed as my mum's invited herself up for two days next week. She has a long record of being emotionally abusive towards me and I'm dreading spending two days alone with her (she would only come up in the week when DH is at work, and refused weekend visits ) I've told her no re weekday visits two or three times now, and offered alternatives, but she just keeps on hacking away at me and I wasn't adequately prepared for the last attempt (ringing me up and shouting 'I WOULD LIKE TO COME AND SEE YOU' down the phone.)

She knows I'm expecting as we told both sets of parents a week or so ago. So I'm expecting a barrage of guilt tripping about her own childhood, how badly I treat her, how much she wishes she'd been nice to her mum when she was alive, plus intrusive questioning about the pregnancy and our plans for parenthood. She has already started on this, having told my brother that I 'don't love her' and will 'pass on a generation of hate' to my own children .

I really resent her forcing herself into my life. I'd happily talk to her and see her in normal circumstances, but she has absolutely no boundaries and doesn't think we're 'close' or 'having a relationship' unless she can get me on my own for hours and talk crazy stuff about her feelings. Having normal family meet-ups doesn't count, and she just treats me like I'm being a terrible cold daughter who persecutes her unless she gets to come into my home and interrogate me alone about really personal stuff.

Anyway - deep breath. I'm going to have to cope with it. But there's a very large part of me that thinks it would be easier if I just never saw her again. We were NC for a year and it was great. I get nothing from seeing her apart from emotional abuse and stress.

uuuuuuuuuurgh

Oh, forgot to talk to anyone else because I was so cross

faith, give yourself a massive pat on the back for getting to 10 days - you did a weekend!

70, really good work on getting your bloods done. I can't answer your question about liver function returning to normal, but just wanted to congratulate you on doing the tests. I had mine done a couple of years ago and it was bloody scary - having to face up to the cold truth of what my drinking had done. But it was a key part of getting better. I hope your results are good news

oh thank you all for your messages - doctor tonight at 8.10.

but guess what?

WE GOT THE CONTRACT!!!!!!!
WE GOT THE CONTRACT!!!!!!

Very sorry to hear that Step. [flower]

Phrase tell her NO!! Tell her you're not feeling up to having visitors at the moment - early pregnancy sickness or something - and then just rinse and repeat...
"No I can't have visitors at the moment"
"No it's not going to work you coming at the moment"
"No I'm not up to it at the moment"
"No I'm not feeling well and I can't deal with you at the moment"
"No"
"No"
"No!"
"NO!"
Then don't answer the phone any more!

ma!!!!!!!!!! I am that chuffed for you! Bloody excellent news! Fecking fabulous! Xx

oh eccles I'm so, so sorry to hear about your mam, you must be beside yerself ye poor soul.

Lean on us, we are here for you my darling. Xxx

Thanks Phrase. You could tell her that your hormones are raging and that you are nightmare to live with at the moment. Would that put her off? You can have the green but hands off the purple and red ones.

Great news ma! Good luck tonight.x

Sorry 70 I don't know the answer.x

Well done Ma - good luck at docs tonight

ach God I'd love to Crabby. In fact there's nothing I'd like more right now than to know she's not coming.

I was up for ringing her back and telling her no directly after she spoke to me, but DH talked me out of it. He is a 'keep-the-peace' type, but he has no experience of abusive relatives as his family's lovely. I wish I'd just done it and not backed down There is no 'peace'. There's just her getting her way and me saying 'it's OK for you to treat me like this'.

I pointed out that it's only going to get worse after the baby arrives. How will I defend it from her if I can't even stop her from foisting herself on me for two days? If she blows up now about me not allowing her inappropriate access to me, how will she react when she finds out we won't leave her alone with our child?

I'm so pissed off. I just wish someone else would deal with it for me. Or perhaps I'll just leave for those two days and go and stay in a nice B and B somewhere

eccles, I missed the sad news about your mum. I'm so sorry

Ma, great news about the contract!

phrase no. No. No. Nobody needs to spoil your happy.

I'll stand guard with Little. I'll forget to feed her for a meal so she looks menacing and slivery.

We'll take one side and crabby'll take the other. Like bouncers.

I reckon I would bounce if she knocked me over trying to get past. But like a weeble - straight back up again

I would like a sentry box though.

crab in a sentry box

I'll build you one too wry. But a bit bigger, obvs, to fit Little as well

I wish I'd dealt with this when I was angry. It would have been so much easier. Now I just feel unsure and like there'll be a shitstorm either way. uuuuurgh.

Hi all, can I jump on board?

All the (perceived) reasons why I drink too much have now been solved, well, all bar one, but one isn't enough so I have got to cut back.

Am sat here contemplating the fact that I have no spirits in for tonight :(

thanks for the love, made me cry again I am taking my lead from her and she is being stupidly strong. Does not help that I am 350 miles from her so can only phone. will try and get time off work when she has had her op. bugger to the WW just got in from work and am digging round already looking for something to drink that DH won't notice is gone poured the remains of the vodka away on monday to stop me drinking it, all I can think is why? could have done with that now I WILL get back on track, just maybe not tonight. I think you are all fab by the way

70 - Hello sweetie :)

As soon as you cut down to the guidelines of 14 units per week for women, or less, or better still stopping for at least two weeks.... your liver starts to repair itself from day one/two.

You may be left with a few small fatty deposits, and some scarring. I have scarring from my clubbing days and from drinking....

Everyone is different but if you eat well, regularly and healthily at the right times of the day, exercise gently, and flush your system with around 2 litres of water a day, your liver will be much more healthy in no time.

Do you know how many units you are drinking per day/week?

My LFT was appalling so I knew what I had to do, having done it before, once or twice

You could try taking a supplement like Milk Thistle which helps the liver to function as it should, get a wide spectrum multivitamin, but be careful with iron as it could constipate you.

The thing is, don't worry before you know the results, EASY TO SAY!! You know that you are/were drinking too much. You are changing things. That is one of the hardest things to a) admit to and b) take action on, so hats off to you :) xx

Back in a while.

PS - well the feck done Ma!!!! xxx

Hi Jon You're most welcome. Have some Opal Fruits. Not the green ones though, I'm guarding them jealously.

Well done for not having spirits in. If your place is anything like where I am then it's also pissing it down so reduced temptation to go down the shop

Thanks Mouse - drinking too much - don't know about units - about 2/3 a bottle of wine most nights - have been AF for 3 days - all research I have done says I should never drink again - which I am going for.

Have researched liver good foods and so for lunch had a beet root, feta and walnut salad - followed by mango - washed down with an apple and lime drink :). - in general beginning to feel much better - went to doctor re other health worries and to alleviate them all he wants to do full bloods - he thinks all will come back good - yikes !!!! - I said I can't have bloods done for a couple of weeks as going on hols - so was hoping that by then (3 weeks time no drinking - my LFT may be OK !).

70: 2/3rds of a bottle of wine a night is - roughly - 6 units, so you've probably been drinking between 40 and 50 units a week depending on the strength of said wine.

Your LFTs needn't be bad news - my tests two years ago said I was (to quote receptionist) 'as fit as a butcher's dog' - I can tell you I wasn't, I'd been drinking 50-60 units per week at least for a number of years, but a combination of youth, luck and biology seem to have spared me.

The main thing is you're stopping now. And any damage that may have been done can be undone

Thanks phase :) - much appreciated ! - I do feel better already - (sort of) - j

phrase what would happen if you phoned your mum and said Sorry, turns out we can't put you up after all, can we talk on Skype instead? Would saying that make you more stressed than having her to stay?

Hello all

Spanna welcome back, I've missed you !!!! (plonks self next to Spanna and offers a Haribo seeing as someone - hard stare at Phrase - has scoffed all the Opal Fruits.)

Wry, thanks for the Guy Martin pic. Thought at first you were shaming him as one of the Short Fringe Contingent but then realised from the filthy comments that he was your fit bit! Very nice.

70 - good luck with the blood tests. Can’t offer much advice above don’t do what I did and have the tests then ‘forget’ to ring up for the results. I just know mine will shock me though as sometimes have pain in right side and with the funeral and arguments at home then hearing I will probably lose my job soon, I just can’t deal with anything else at the moment. I will get back to addressing health issues soon

Phrase - hope the visit isn’t too bad lovey. Is it too late to get out of it? How about saying one of you has come down with flu or something and she can’t come for her own good? Think it’s appalling that she won’t visit when your DH is there but wants to get you alone in the week. It’s quite rude to him too. I really don’t know what to advise though, I adored my mum (it’s the in-laws I’ve had issues with ). You should be putting yourself first though – I would talk to the nurse about it when you go for your next check up, we don’t want you getting stressed (which is why I’ve not nicked the Opal Fruits back from you)

Eccles - just huge, huge hugs for you my lady. (((( bosies ))))) I’m sorry your mum is ill, and I really hope she comes through this operation OK. Like Mouse I lost my mum to cancer, but in her case it was very advanced on diagnosis, so I hope for a better outcome for your mum. We are all here for you. I am sending my best healing thoughts …

Ma wow, fantastic news, so pleased for you. How long is the contract for? You really deserve it, get nice boss to fork out for a celebratory dinner!!!! I would say it was your norks that won the deal but don’t want to sound like that idiot woman off the Apprentice last night who advised her team to wear ‘lots of nice make up’ and then buggered up the task.

Talking of The Apprentice, there was once a family rumour that we were related to Lord Sugar. Bizarrely, my MIL got chatting to some random in the toilets at her gym a couple of years ago, and she was one of those family tree freaks and ‘worked out’ that they were related, and then she told MIL that they were also distantly related to Alan Sugar. I have been encouraging the kids to refer to him as ‘Uncle Alan’ in case there is ever an inheritance, but if crazy toilet lady ever did try to contact him re: long lost family, he hasn’t been keen to embrace us all. Still, if I’m unemployed by April I could always write and ask for a job selling curved tweezers or whatever….

Right, I have waffled on long enough. Sorry didn’t nc everyone, have lost this post 3 times and getting mighty fed up. Well done to those abstaining, keep on trying to those who are struggling. Day 1 again here after sneaky wine on train back from difficult meetings in London, but can only try again, eh?

Off to watch Waterloo Road. Wednesday is crap telly night in our house. Yay

Norks all clear. Doc thinks more muscular and nothing to worry about. Going to have a scan anyway just because I can but she said all is fine. Whew! What a day. Thanks for all the messages.
Did I hear someone mention opal fruits up thread?
Dd1 is leaving home tomorrow... Suitcase packed, flights booked. Off to Spain and then.....she'll see where she ends up. Well jel.

Oh ma, as said by the equally inimitable Ian Dury, Reasons To Be Cheerful.

You know what I'd want for your third one.

Oh, I want that too wry
I shouldn't, but I do.

Double good news for you today then Ma - fabulous x