The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

ma that's quite some feat you know, you be proud, it's deserved. She'll have a whale of a time.

I am having a glass of wine again. WB is stressing me out a bit, all my own fault I hasten to add. I lent him some money. Stupid but the alternative was that he'd pressure my dad to lend him his car. My dad is a big softy, but disabled and I can't bear the thought of him without transport. My dad offered him his car straightaway last time he had mechanical problems, so I was panicking he would do so again.

I didn't want my family to be dragged into my mess so it was the easiest solution to help him out.

I feel like a mug. I asked him why he is always so short, as he earns more than me. He said he has student loans, I don't understand as he only did a year of a course, and I thought Scottish students didn't pay for tuition although I am probably wrong about the system? He has taken out loans, he is in rent arrears, and behind with his electricity. I glanced at a statement he left lying, so estimate total is almost £30,000.

I don't understand how someone with such money worries can justify spending hundreds on expensive cameras etc. I think he may have a real problem, he was playing a cd, a new one by Slash? And proceeded to tell me it was free with a magazine. I've googled and I don't think this is the case.

I've always gone by the words you shouldn't lend what you can't afford to lose. The money is annoying, but the lies have stripped any respect I had left for him. I lent him money as he was beside himself with worry and he goes off and buys CDs.

The moral dilemma is, is his addiction any worse than mine? I haven't got a leg to stand on pulling on some judgey pants, have I?

So I am having wine. And curiously enough, no. It's nae making me feel any better but it felt like an old friend earlier. And feels like a vindictive, goady, vicious awd bugger now.

He's been on the phone to tell me he is taking a different shift next week, he was grumbling that he is only doing it so he could pay me back faster, and he is going to be miserable doing it, like it was all my fault. By his reckoning it would take at least 6 weeks to get the money together. When he asked for the loan he told me it would be for a week, two tops.

I'm there, I think, lovely babes.

Time to let him go.

Sorry about drinking though, that was just me struggling to grasp stuff after he phoned.

Wishing each and every one of you some love and an apology for whinging xx

soc I say this a lot, but you give me so much hope. We are the same age and you have a handle on things and I don't. You are shining a lamp though, it's awful dark where I am, but I can see it. Tomorrow I will be working very hard to get nearer to the light.

Enough of my maudlin pish though, I am booting my own arse out of the fog for falling off the bus again. Away to soak some of this up wi some eggy bread. Xx

wry just rushing off to work, but keep trying is all that counts. It really is better for my mental health to be sober. It has given me such clarity and strength of mind. It will help you deal with the crap better. Wine is such a lovely, easy and quick fix, but in reality it makes dealing with everything so much harder. Hugs and kisses xx

wry gggrrrr he sounds like a real charmer (and you sound lovely for trying to keep your dad out of it - is that what WB playing on?)

soc, I'll keep trying. I will.

It's funny, I drink to slow the world down a bit, but the thoughts and doubts end up whirling faster and faster until they run into themselves, multiplying and mutating into confusion and paranoia.

Have a good day at work my friend, may the sun be shining for you, xx

Wry huge big bosies to you lovely lady. He sounds a twunt, and had put you in a horrible position. I am getting in the driver's seat right now and heading towards his house. We are going to mow him down, then Gerald is coming to pick you up. Hot chocolate with marshmallows, a snuggly blanket and a hot water bottle await, and you can choose some upbeat tracks for the bus stereo... Hang in there wry, we are on the way...

joey you may be right, in fact I hazard that you are right. He's played me like a fiddle. I hate that he felt he could take the piss by buying something unnecessary.

Bills, food and rent I get. And wouldn't see anybody stuck for that. Did I have the right to dictate what he spent it on anyway? No, not really. But the lies. The lies take the piss. His addiction has him covering his tracks much the same as me.

It's almost funny. I can hear my grunny, "like calls to like....". Bless her.

Aww hope, sweet and kind and hang on...are you wearing my batman outfit?

Hot chocolate, bosies and hot water bottle sounds just the ticket, thank you, xx

The support on this ere bus humbles me, together we are invincible.

eccles, guggs, ma, phrase, mouse, faith, crabby, baby, 70, val, spanna, Margaret, pick, venus* and all other lovely Babes,
xx

mouse, thought I'd put all my little stars on, but missed one. May you be twinkling, x

(hands Wry the batman outfit back and heads off to get ready for work )

That mask looked odd over my driving spectacles anyway

Have a good Friday ladies...

Wry my darling, today is another day WB sounds like a complete twunt, there is a moral to your 'lending money' scenario and you know what that is ! Don't do it, spend your hard earned cash on you, you and Little deserve so much better and nice things. Walk away if you can, you are stronger than you think, it is so nice to be solo, do what you want when you want (within reason) etc etc There are only positives How is your leg doing? When I saw the photo it reminded me of the humans in the film Wall E, where all the humans are overweight and big daddy is controlling them

Now then, brush yourself down, keep your head up, tits out and sock it to the world today, you are an amazing person, funny, intelligent, kind, generous, worldly wise, Come On you can do this. One day at a time and let me tell you, in time you will be so much happier without WB

Ma really glad to hear about new contract and norks, excellent

Beaches my lovely, how's Mama's visit going, I hope you haven't had to run down the street screaming yet? or swim in the bottom of the bottle of several reds Sending you loads of love and strength (sorry a bit late in the day)

Hope darling, you're sounding bright which is magic Read a good book (couldn't put the bloody thing down,think is may have been out for ages) 'Husband Missing' by Polly Williams, kept me glued, my usual non-high brow shite, but a good read all the same

Phrase awesome news about the scan, bus baby etc, so very happy for you and huge well done for delaying your Mother

Baby a quick squeeze for you lovely one, hope you're surviving the kids holidays (ours are last week in Oct down South) Have a good day honey

Going before I do the 'lose post syndrome' Happy Friday you lovely Brave Babes - You are all amazing and don't you forget it

Day 3 for me today but it is Friday and the WW is whispering already, hell she's a bitch !

happy friday all x thanks for all the good wishes.

Eccles big hugs to you lovely. Have a good day

Soc you are amazing. I love your posts they really do give me (and I'm sure all other Babes) the kick up the arse that I need

Hello babes

Spanna always good to see you flower. You may regret asking about my mums visits because I feel the need to offload! For the first five days I managed to avoid the WW, despite within the first 24 hours being reminded that all her recent aches/pains/ailments derive from my emigrating. That she has had, and continues to have, a terrible time because of it/me. While I do understand this has impacted greatly on her, she does have form for blaming everyone else and ruling by guilt. She won't speak to my sister because she is so unkind (read as challenges her opinions) she doesn't speak with three out of her four siblings because they are horrible people.

Many comments are just nasty, but all deniable. She told me of a friend of hers who had lost over a stone but then followed with 'you wouldn't know where from' Lots of this sort of thing and if questioned of course she didn't mean it unkindly, it's the way I twisted it.

It is not all bad of course and i don't think even she realises half of what she says. I am trying very hard to stay pleasant and calm and cherish the time as much as possible, as I know some of you babes don't have the chance to moan about you mum's anymore The children seem to be enjoying them being here and Dh is in and out not finding it hard. Last night I did drink but I will get back to AF today.

So, enough about me I have been reading and love everyone's posts but there are a couple.

Soc awesome, flipping awesome! So inspiring and also when you talked of the first half glass, it rang so true. It all turns to shit pretty quickly after that.

Wry your comment too about drinking to slow down the thoughts and finding them whirling faster and more jumbled. That is spot on for me, especially in the dawn and following morning/day. If you wouldn't dream of borrowing money from someone for enhance your CD collection (and I admit I don't think many considerate people would either) then I think you are right to judge him. You have a right to expect fair and decent treatment from a partner and he doesn't appear able. You are far too lovely to put up with this shit.

Big cheer for the norks Ma .

Want to name check you all but know I will miss out too many. Love you all. From a slightly manic, grimacing babe in Canada xxxx

Day 5 - yay - no desire or intention to drink - thinking of my body as healing itself all the time !!!! Probably walk later with mum x

See you all later x

Yay, ma has new norks! Oh, wait I read that wrong, "new contract and (not new, just in good condition) norks"

wry sweets, are you putting * * * * * * around everyone's name individually? Did you know you can just put one at each end of the sentence...? (Pats wry* gently on the head)

Just a quick check in.

Wry Agree with spanna, hope and beaches. You deserve so much better.

Hope everybody else is ok. Am going to pub tonight and will try my hardest to stay on the bus.

On a positive, I would usually have a large glass or two while getting ready. I stayed away from the wine aisle today so no wine to drink. If I can get through today it will be 12 days AF.

Will let you know how it goes. Have a fab evening all! xx

Faith 12 Days is awesome Plan what you're going to drink in the pub, a nice refreshing AF drink in a tall glass (advice from this 'ere bus that I've taken and it works) it allows you some time to think about it , another one is 'watch the film until the end', imagine waking up tomorrow without a hangover, what bliss that will be

70 5 Days is excellent

Joey

Wry how you doing lovely?

Beaches pumpkin you've done really good 5 Days until you caved, not bad and you can see the bigger picture, it's good to see ya Mum and it will be really nice when she's gone again I get that x

Hope you're all OK

Thanks Spanna. Was thinking of opting for lemonade and lime. It usually has vodka in, but as I can never taste it anyway, thought it might be a safe option.
Have made plans with a friend for in the morning. Not early early, but early enough that will make me think twice. I hope

Hey all. Got the house to myself for a whole weekend. Let me repeat that. House to myself for whole weekend. I have some new books to read, luxury food, Lush bath bombs, chocolate peanuts and there will be Ben and Jerry's Ice cream at some point. And wine. No point lying about it.
God, the single life is lovely!
wry tell wankbadger to go take a flying fuck. You don't need him. You are so warm and kind and funny and a joy to have on the bus.
Get rid of him!

Hi babes, sorry I've not posted much, I've been reading but as dh had been away I've been volleying between the needs of dd1 and dd2 so it's been hectic but fun.

joey thanks for the tip on the *, I've lost about a week out of my life putting one before and after every name, every day's a schoolday.

eccles your mum sounds like a brave and optimistic lady so that's half the battle. Your a lovely daughter and together you'll kick cancers ass.

phrase you have been through so much pain to have this healthy pregnancy, NO additional stress is acceptable, it's hard enough with hormones and all the changes. Youve preempted a potentially stressful situation and done the right thing for you and that wee miracle inside of you, well done.

wry BIN THAT WB, I hate the thought of anyone hurting you, you are an incredible woman, so warm, witty and generous with all of us, I wish you happiness but I feel certain you'll never find a prince worthy of you while your with that toad. Harsh words but I feel very protective of you. Think of this, what would you tell me or any of the babes on here if we were to tell you that our man was putting us through all that you have endured!!! Aye hen there'd be a few choice words from you. You deserve better, we all love you so much.

ma enjoy xx

sober you rock and give us so much inspiration, keep it coming,

guggs you'll get through this, Ad's changed everything for me. I recall crying one day because I couldn't open a tin, actually wept. I had lost all sense of stability, everything and everyone looked warped and everywhere was dark and filled me with fear. They have gradually, along with sobriety and you guys given me back my life, still have dark days and I'll never be a good "coper" but I know they will pass and so will yours, I know this to be true.

I'm scared incase I lose all this so my love and sincere gratitude to you magical souls, my heroes, my mentors, my friends xxx

Evening all!

soc did you have a good day at work quine? I am on the back seat. Strapping myself in with reams of Elastoplast. Keep driving us forward, we need you, xx

hope thanks for looking after me Batman gear, and for checking in first thing, and for you bus driving skills last night, you made me laugh so hard, xx

spanna, oh sweetheart, thank you! My leg is getting better, it's still a bit plump but well on the mend. I have so got to watch Wall E. That's me! I'm the Fat Controller! Oh I've missed you on here, so, so pleased you're back! 3 days in, eh? Bloody brilliant ma quine, I'm that proud of ye, hope you're holding the saggy titted one at bay tonight my darling. if you need a hand my errant wind problem should shrivel her up nicely. xx

beaches so proud of you, it can be really hard not to say anything sometimes, can't it? Some folk can really make you doubt yourself when you pull them up on something you know in your heart has been a bit rude. Masters of manipulation, some of them colleagues, some of them friends, some are parents. You sound like you are coping very, very well darling, and like you say, it isn't all bad. Concentrate on the lovely, be animated and happy when it happens, kinda like positive reinforcement, and let the less lovely stuff flush away quietly and without causing a blockage. Wishing you strength and love, beaches, strength and love, xx

eccles how are you today sweetheart, thinking of you and your mum, look after yersel my lass, xx

70 did you enjoy your walk? Nowt like a walk for blowing away a cobweb or two, do you have a favourite walk? I have one which soothes my soul no matter how shitty the day. Woohoo for day 5! xx

joey Wis howlin at my heid pat. Howlin! laughter truly is the best medicine! Thank you joey ma quine
* greetin, really greetin at ma numptiness! xx

baby thank you, you are right, I would be puffing my chest oot and blowing hot air and indignation if some WB was hurting one of you guys, I know I'm safe here. I can tell it like it is, get my arse kicked both firmly and fairly by people who care. Means the world that I can drop the smiley mask and be be, worries, warts and all.

Hairy big baws. There are too many mistakes in the above post to correct but hopefully you'll overlook the fact that I need a few grammar lessons and perhaps the ability to spell before I criticise the current Booker prize winner.

I thank you.

wry you write so well. Why don't you join NaNiWro (can't remember. National Novel Writing Month).

There's a thread in Creative Writing. I'm going to do it for fun.

It will be good to keep you busy and you've got such a natural way with words.

Do it for us. xx

The writing challenge sounds a great idea. Can we all read them?

Thanks for the strength and love Wry, what a lovely thing to say. It is a case of feast or famine with these long visits and it is so good to have a place to let some of the tension out. Thank you for getting it too Spanna Both of you babes lifted my day today

Ma fancy a weekend swap? I want a french kisses bath bomb and chocolate and wine...

Day 1 done. Night lovelies xx

beaches I don't think everyone can read them. I hope not! I'm sure there are a fair few stories to be told from this bus! And it may be a good distraction. You signing up?