The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

Just checked in to see how you got on at the docs Ma. Glad to see it all went well.

Night Night Babes. Sweet Dreams.x

That's a relief ma I suggest you send an email to Distracted Chap, saying that your boobs have been checked and are in 'perfect condition'

Hello Babes

Well tomorrow is 160 days AF for me. I still can’t quite believe I’m doing this. It’s getting pretty hard now with BBQ’s and lunches and general summer stuff kicking in. ALL involving cold glasses of wine. Oh I ache for it sometimes. But it’s fleeting and I know exactly where I will end up. I look at my friends drinking and now that I’m sober it’s so clear that they are only ever drinking between 1-3 glasses of wine and then they stop. And it’s not a big deal for them to stop. They’ve just had enough and would prefer a coffee. Imagine that. The mind boggles. I know if I put a single sip of wine in my mouth it will be a fast and furious journey back to 1-2 bottles of wine a day. This is just me doing my self-talk and giving you a pleasant insight to my mind.

I am not going to drink again. Why would I be so utterly mad to give up this magical lovely sober life I have just for that momentary blissful first half glass (and after that it’s all shit really). I am just as confident and funny on sparkling water. Not quite as nuts, but you know, maybe at 45 it’s time to tone down the childish behaviour anyway. It was fun…... I can’t quite see myself going down a hill in a shopping cart at 3am if I am sober. But I suppose at least I’ll live to tell the tales. My liver doesn’t twitch anymore. That is such a huge relief.

guggs no idea what to suggest. Wine is such a pleasant feeling when you’re stressed. But the long term effects will not be helping you. Just have a big hug and hopefully things will get easier for you.

faith took me ages to feel good. I was soooo tired for a few weeks I think. Now I’m invincible…..

nancery crabery hello. Don’t think I’ve said hello. So hello there.

mouse you have so much time and energy for everyone else which is just incredible considering what you go through and have been through. Xx

just any seat for any addiction. Pick the one with a view is my recommendation

beaches hello babe. It’s almost time to go to the beach here. Can’t wait.

70 your liver will be fine. Just stop drinking. They are amazing organs. I have put my liver through 25 years of abuse and the tests came up clear (recently though).

step very sorry to hear about your mum. It’s so bloody hard.

ma I’m pleased your boobs are fine, but I reckon they need a second opinion. Someone needs to make sure they feel ok.

phase tell yer mother to bugger off. Or just try and ignore. I have so little patience for unpleasant behaviour. So easy to be nice to each other. What’s with all this crap people put others through? I’ll stand right behind wry and crabby She ain’t got a shit show of getting through us.

where welcome. Fasten your seatbelt.

Hello looking Sugar. you’re famous by default.

Big waves and hugs to alias venus wry vair purple spanna and all other babes lurking or otherwise. xx

Morning everyone. I've no idea what happened to the Opal Fruits, it wasn't me

Thanks crabby, wry, joey, faith, looking, sober for all your kind words about my mum stress. The Bus babes are a lovely bunch . I realised yesterday after chatting here that there was just no way I could do it so rang her and said I could do a weekend in November but not a visit next week because I'm not feeling well with the pregnancy (thanks for the idea!)

Apparently it 'doesn't matter' because she 'doesn't have to come down anyway', we'll be seeing her at Christmas . Never mind that she's been repeatedly bugging me about a visit since July. Now it's a weekend, with her H and my DH there, it's 'not important'.

This kind of nonchalance usually means she knows she's been stymied and is going to broadside me with some kind of attack in a week or two, when I'm not expecting it. Or she'll say something horrible to my brother

But the main thing is, she's not coming next week. It's a weight off my shoulders, it really is

looking, luckily my ILs are lovely. I agree, it is rude to DH and also to her H - but then she's openly rude about him in front of people, so I expect he's used to it It's her third marriage. I'm hoping to hell it lasts because when she's single her behaviour's 10000 times worse . . . .

ma, fantastic news from the doctor! You must feel so much better now

sober, you are inspirational. 160 days! and 'that blissful first half glass' . . . yes, it is that, isn't it. When the WW is telling me how much I'm missing out on not being able to drink, she makes it sound like drinking is all like that first mouthful, but most of the time it was 10% bliss, 90% self-abuse. I try to deliberately remember that feeling when you've had three glasses of wine and you feel drunk but it's still not enough. I don't miss that.

JonathanSmith, how did last night go? And Just, you still with us?

Hope you all have a lovely Thursday!

Sober I so love reading yours posts, so glad you stayed with us to share your success

Phrase if your mum tries to broadside you just try to not commit. Say, 'I will have to get back to you on that' to give yourself some time to plan a strategy.

This is the main trouble with mobile phones, there is no getting away from some people without it being very obvious. Before they were around (old gimmer) I used to leave my answerphone on permanently and screen my calls so that I didn't get caught on the hop by my mum

Now it's not so easy but it is your home, your life and you can tell her that you don't want visitors right now. As to the future, well you'll have to see. Don't commit to anything.

The other thing I found useful was, once I had children I 'reclaimed' Christmas and we told everyone we just wanted a family Christmas of our own at home and would visit others before or after but not Christmas or Boxing Day. They do accept it, what else can they do but it takes away the annual stress of who's going where and we can actually just relax and have a pleasant time together.

I often don't answer my landline faire, as it's only ever my parents or DH's who call it

Yes, I'll not commit next time. I'll remind myself every time I pick up the phone!

Saying I don't want visitors right now isn't considered good enough. As far as she's concerned whatever I do is all about her, so if I say I don't want visitors it's rejecting her, I don't love her, etc etc. Unfortunately she's smart and can spot a fob-off a mile away.

I do keep reminding myself that this is not normal behaviour, and that I've every right to say who I want to visit and how long they can stay. If I'm not careful I get sucked into her story, which is 'you're such a bad daughter, you're cold, you need to explain why you don't want to see me, it makes me so sad, you'll be sorry when I'm dead.'

I can't wait until we have the little one here I love Christmas and I love the idea of having it at home, with no dramas and no having to motor between houses on Christmas Day to see everyone in case they get upset. Bliss I can imagine it now: Christmas morning at ours, maybe over to the ILs for dinner . . . aaaaaah

Morning Babes!

Sober I too love your posts. I can relate to all you say. Congrats on 160 days

Phrase glad you have got a reprieve in the interim. Did you say that this was first baby? If so, I would probably go away this Christmas on a babymoon.

Tomorrow night will be my first real test. We are going to the pub. I have spent the last few days wondering if I am strong enough to stay on the bus or should I do an Olive and ride sidecar

Hugs to you all. Extra Big hugs to all the babes that need them.x

Day 4 - feeling stronger - and actually feeling the best I have in ages :). Done my 6 mile walk today - now onwards to the hoovering and ironing.

Sober. - an inspirational post -thanks :)
Faith - stay on the bus - you will feel so great on Saturday - don't let the witch get you - !!!!

See you all later :)

faire I stay on the bus because I love the madness here and I will never forget the support I got when I first started - it's quite something when you're in that really bad place and you come here and there is nothing but loveliness, support and a whole heap of nuttiness. And not a single ounce of judgement on this bus. That's pretty special.

And if I can give something back then I'd be delighted. I feel if I can achieve this then anyone can. It's just about being in the right head space I think, to finally do it. 25 years of fairly serious alcohol abuse and here I am doing it.

Now I just need to focus on not having a relapse. Because I don't know if I'd manage to do this again if I started drinking. Therefore it's so vital to me that I never ever start again. So really, you can't get rid of me.

Hello everyone
just checking in.
lurking away, as ever.
All your posts are inspirational, all of them.
Aiming for an alcohol-free evening this evening.
Would be afraid to count the number of units for the past week. Last night alone was a two-bottler.
Feel hideous.
sober so glad to read your posts, fantastic, hope-giving. 70hours great stuff. And getting in the walk as well. Brill.
will try to get back later to say hi to everyone.
sorry to hear about your mum steps that's a tough road
phrase hang tough
guggs meet your sister!
argh.........
slinks off to buy some cordial for tonight

Thank you 70. I am going to try my hardest to stay on the bus. DH will be thinking I'm "up duff" when I order an non alcoholic drink

I probably won't be able to check in again today. Will try and catch up with you all tomorrow.

Take care all.xx

just creeping out to give a wobbly bum smile to all lovely babes,who of course have come through for me when I need a hand hold.

Have made an appointment for ad's and will being my sobriety journey again when I've been.

I'm hoping that life is improving. Honestly,it's nothing terrible but I've had the shittiest year and I've had all I can take. Will not be drinking today.

Creeping back to blanket now.

Gugg I recently started ad's and I think that is why I am now in a place to recognise and try to deal with my drinking.
While life itself hasn't improved my way of coping with it overall has.
Good luck at appt. xxx

Good luck Guggs x

phrase well done on putting yourself and baby first, and not giving in to your mum!

Well my facebook stalking finally paid off, I found a friend of his who doesn't bother with privacy settings, and who likes to post lots of photos and status updates... Don't know why I'm torturing myself really.

Had a drink last night. Mistake, the dog decided to be ill in the night, and was throwing up etc. so - lack of sleep, alcohol, Facebook obsession...

wow - a full bus!
quick wave to all and then I'm outta here. Catch you later

joey! I thought you were done with your distracted chap?
But I understand - really I do

I am done, really. But for some reason, like to continue obsessing (especially after a couple of glasses of wine)

My stalking has uncovered the fact that he still hasn't got a girlfriend, which is no surprise - I'd forgotten what a twat he is! I also found out that despite grandiose schemes of quitting the rat-race and emigrating to Canada, he's actually still in the same job! I suspect he's still living with his parents too

Your posts are very wise and inspiring.

I love my sentry box Phrase. Bloody well done for telling her no - you go girl!! Don't let it bother you in the slightest what she says to your brother. You know the truth. Can you treat her like an unreasonable child? Just stand firm; don't rise to the bait, don't continue to justify your decisions after you've given your reason why you don't want her to come, don't get drawn into the conversations why you're being so unfair... just stay calm and repeat...

so if I say I don't want visitors it's rejecting her, I don't love her, etc etc.

"This isn't about you, Mum, it's about me: I don't feel up to visitors at the moment."

"I'm pregnant, I need time and space to myself and to minimise stress."

"The more you make a drama out of this, Mum, the less I want to have you visit."

you're such a bad daughter, you're cold, you need to explain why you don't want to see me, it makes me so sad, you'll be sorry when I'm dead.

"Oh Mum, I think it's a shame that your happiness is dependent on whether it's convenient for you to come and stay. Maybe some counselling would help you detach a bit?"

"Mum I'm not obliged to explain my decisions to you, but you are obliged to accept them."

"I'm sorry that I'm not the daughter you seem to want, but all my energy now needs to go into being the mother that I want to be."

"I'll be sorry when you're dead because I love you and will miss you, not because you've made me feel guilty for setting boundaries."

Hi babes, just checking in, be back later to catch up xxxxx

Hi babes, just checking in, be back later to catch up xxxxx

Hi babes. Really manic day today and now sat in car in the rain while ds at training. He had a row with Dd today and left her to walk home from school alone. We are all a bit annoyed with each other.
Anyway, on phone so can't nc you all but just wanted to send a big hug to lovely Guggs, and to high five Soc for sobriety and Ma for the good news at the doctors.

Love to all

Checking in. Lovely boss told me today he had applied for and been offered another job. A secure, decent salaried one. He turned it down! Said " decided if the ship was sinking I would sink with it. But now we've got the contract, let's go out and kick some ass.".
I officially move him!
Dd1 left home today. At 4am I heard the sound of a child and a suitcase heading out to the airport. Felt proud that I had fostered a spirit of independence and raised a confident, strong woman. Tonight I stripped her bed and wondered where 23 years had gone.

Today I am the lowest of the low.

Re wind problem. I didn't even feel it leaving the premises, totally silent, whispered itself out really. Until a noxious cloud of epic proportions hit everyone within a twenty metre radius.

A small boy and his mum had just left as the toxic cloud took hold. I blamed him. I didn't even have the grace to blush.

I am going to hell.

Put a cork in it wry
Try charcoal tabs. They are supposed to be good for wind.
Oh,and could you ride on the roof rack for a while?