The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wicked Wine Witch Where It Hurts! Mwahahahahahahaha!

[Mouseface]

Hey, I'm Mouse, welcome to the Bus (aka Gerald!)

We're a mixed bunch of folk, some have been here for a while, and of course we have some new additions too. It matters not one jot how long you travel with us, as long as you get something from it.

No matter your story, your needs, your fears and hopes, you CAN come on here and talk. You can cry, scream, rant, let it all out and not be judged for anything. Ever.

We've all been so very low, some have hit the very bottom of the rock, rubbed the bruising better and picked ourselves back up again but sometimes, you need a helping hand or someone to listen too.....which is why we're here, sharing our experiences, or just reading each other's and nodding as we click along.....

The support here is unconditional. :)

There are two banners down each side of Gerald, our super duper Bus saying -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We have lots of food on board, but mainly Opal fruits!!! They tend to be anything other than green, as they get snapped up vair fast indeed!

If you would like to know a bit more about how we got to where we are today, you can read these threads.

THE PREVIOUS THREAD

THE START OF THE JOURNEY

Hope to see you soon :) x

Morning lovely babes

Day 6

Think that I'm beginning to win the fight at last,the ad's have knocked the crippling anxiety on the head (probably a placebo) and I've managed to think straight for the first time in weeks. I'm ok ish.

I have some disgusting kind of ear infection / plague /virus so my liver is suffering large does of pain killer but not bothered about the booze.

Thank you for being here it's been sooo hard recently. I'd not faced up to the fact that sober or drinking,I have depression. Probably not the mild kind. In about 98 million years I may look back on this time in my life and be all serene and Zen about it like fuck i will

How strange that you can be depressed and be in denial about it? Anyhow,I see clearly now,the rain has gone etc etc

Love to all x

I just decided to check on the moon because things are really tits up down here today. I'm not drinking, but I'm going to bed asap because this day needs to fucking end fast. It is full moon, but only on Friday. Maybe I should just sleep until Saturday.

But, strangely enough although I would LOVE to sink into that oblivion provided by the bottle I don't actually feel like drinking. Progress, babes we have progress. It's taken about 14 years, but small steps I say.

Day 1 again here. Ma big bosies to you. Hope your dad is coping better today.

Guggs, depression is tough. And tough to admit, though hopefully getting easier. The ads will kick in properly after about 4 weeks, the important thing is not to forget to take them when you feel better (like I do )

Venus - lovely post, thank you

Waves to Soc, 70, Wry, Beaches, Joey and Co. Looks under seat for Spanna , Mouse, Isinde, Anne and Eccles

Have a rotten cold today . And tough day at work. Let's put some cheery music on the Gerald Ghettoblaster to cheer us up. What are everyone's top happy songs?

70 23 days (24 now!) is brilliant, well done. Yeah it is hard, sometimes I do think "where's my boing?" Still waiting for that dewy-skin-swishy-hair feeling.

And treats, it's so frustrating. Started buying makeup (doesn't have the same buzz though) and of course now have more time and energy to put it on and remove it at night.

Maybe you could make a list of all the positive bits of being AF - writing it down will help. And just keep odaat

Sorry I cross-posted. Hello guggs sober looking

Hey all.. Just that.
Dad not good at all, Ds has sore testicle so worried about another torsion, dh faffing about heart palpitations. Fed up with the bloody lot of them

Oh ma. Wish I knew what to say to make you feel better quine. check yer emails

Your bean juice is touching your egg today. Your plate might be better set oot the morn. I hope your Ds's discomfort eases, and that your dad has a clear day. I've got a commode with your Dh's name on it. If anybody's earned the right for a whinge the day, it's you. Nae him. He'll fix nae bother, your soul needs intensive care. Wish I could say the right words to soothe ye ma quine, ye sound done in. Have a bosie, x

Am away for a read back, catch up with you all in a mo, xx

awww wry you always say the right things. I just feel a bit thinly spread. Dh will take Ds to A and E tomoz to get his balls checked. He, (dh) is moaning that he will end up spending the whole day at hospital with Ds waiting to be seen. Ffs. I have to be at work. I can't be everywhere. I will call in on dad before 8am to make him take his pills and he will cry and say he wants to die etc and I will surreptiously look at my watch and need to be gone to do the 45 min drive to work. Why is everything so complicated?

Bet you feel like doing a Shirley Valentine ma

(((hugs)))

I hope your DS is ok Ma - hugs to you - you make me irrelevant worries seem trivial.

Ok babes - what do I do - I am due to go for a range of blood tests on Monday which will include LFT - I will be 4 weeks AF on Monday. my dilemma is do I go and risk an abnormal result and then have to go and explain myself to docs which I categorically do not want to do or do I defer for another 2 weeks - hmmmm

Eeh I could flatten him ma. Surely the main thing would be concern that your Ds's poorly baw was okay.

Haud yer heid up like a thistle, your day will come, you'll see, x

How do faire how's your day been? Xx

I can't believe saying this, I'm on day 20. This is my sticky week, the three week mark. 13 days until I head off to London on the train. I might take my favourite train journey book. Daft one really, The Shell Seekers. It's like a comfort blanket.

My happy song by the way hope, is Personal Jesus. Love it. How's your cold my dear? Are you snuggled up warm and feeding your wee face? I prescribe cheese on toast and tea, and I hope that work is but a memory until the morn. Xx

guggs pleased to hear the tablets are doing their job, that your thoughts are straight and above all, keep howling your songs, you're more in tune than you think, wishing you a pile o zen, xxx

soc oh that full moon. Oh my, I get the pull of the full moon, I'm a right believer, it's powerful all right. But on the positive side, fab that you feel you have made progress, because you have darling, more than you know. So proud of you, ((((((((bosies)))))))))) xx

joey how are you lovey? Another one here throwing the wine pennies at hair and makeup. I'm having a Mac trip on Saturday, new highlights are much lighter and my old makeup looks wrong. If my hair and makeup aren't right I feel a bit bleh, like my mojo has been sooked dry. I'm booked in for a lesson, I think I'm in a bit of a rut, going to let them loose on my face for an hour or so. I may actually get me tache threaded.

Your tale about the sporran at the wedding How classy are you?! A receptacle of distinction! I will never forget the shame of being pissed after dinner with my sister's partner. He saw me home, utter gentleman. In the morning I saw what I'd been sick into, he'd passed the first thing he could grab.

Gentle's bowl. I was so upset I bought her a new one. Id tainted her bowl. I bought her an Alessi one to make up for it.

Photobombing the bride, love you a little bit more with every post you write! Xx

ma sweet dreams Xx

wry Day 20 is bloody awesome. Well done. ((bosies))...

keep going. xx

Just go 70. At 4 weeks AF you're doing brilliantly, so you'll have decreased your risk of an abnormal result anyway (and that risk might have been quite low to start with, depending on luck, age and how long you've been drinking). I managed 1 day AF before my LFT, which was normal. You need to know and although the wait will be an anxious time, you'll feel much better when you've found out and it's not preying on your mind.

What's the worst case scenario? Your results are abnormal. They will only be early-stage abnormal, because you've not got any other symptoms of liver disease. You talk to a doctor, in confidence, and they recommend you stop drinking. You say: 'Already have!' They say: 'Great, keep it up.' They won't judge you, they see much much worse every day and I guarantee you you're small fry I remember seeing my alcohol counsellor, and as part of talking about reducing the ABV of what I was drinking, he used another one of his clients as an example. Who was drinking ONE HUNDRED UNITS A DAY. It was at that point that I realised that in his eyes, I was a Nice Worried Girl with a bit of an issue who was going to make his life easy by admitting and properly working on the problem

ma, that all sounds absolutely desperate. I'm so sorry. The only thing I can say is that DH needs to stop mithering about heart palpitations. I get 'em all the time and they're really nothing to make a meal out of. Just one of those weird body things. (Unless DH has some dreadful condition which I've missed upthread . . . )

Congrats on day 20, wry!

guggs, that's actually brilliant news - you've found out what's wrong, and you're on the right meds to help you be happy again. I'm really glad you're on the ADs and they're making a difference. I hope you carry on feeling better

Hugs to you Phase you have made me feel so much better :)

By the way it's my birthday today and I'm 25 days sober :)

Happy Birthday 70 and Happy 25 days!

ma thinking of you

babyj are you lurking?

I'm having a right panic about work. I've taken 2 seroxat and 2 Kalms. If I had the merest hint of a sore throat or stomachache I'd call in sick. Unfortunately, being nearly 3 weeks AF means I feel quite healthy

I've written it all down and tried to CBT it. Made a plan of action. I feel like I'm 9 years old. I hate anxiety. Want to cry.

Happy Birthday '70' and huge well done on 25 days sober :)

Happy Birthday 70 xx

Happy Birthday 70 xx

Thanks ladies :)

aliasjoey what has worked in the past to help you feel better? Can you remember any points of looking back and thinking "why on earth did I get so worked up about that?" I remember getting massively worried about a mistake I'd made and the fear of getting found out - so much so that I even contemplated taking my own life. Now (15 years later) it seems like such a bizarre thought to have even had....

I so understand the temptation to take time off, but I also know that for me that would only postpone the anxiety (and add most of it back on the following day). Is there anyone who can help you through it? I once called in a good friend to help me sort through what seemed like an insurmountable workload, and she saw the priorities very differently - half of what I was worried about either didn't need me to do it, or wasn't important at all. And some of the things that I wanted to get 'perfect' could we dealt with adequately with a few lines.

But here's a funny story - back in the days before email, a man I knew worked in the civil service. They had an internal mail system where mail would be collected twice a day by a man who went around the offices with a trolley. Mail wold be taken to central place for sorting and then delivered one or two days later. If said acquaintance was too busy to deal with something (or if something was too difficult and needed thinking about) he would put it in the internal mail addressed to himself, knowing that it would be 24 hours or 48 hours before he had to look at it again.

Of course that would be self-defeating with email since it would be added to your unanswered mail instantly, but I thought it was interesting as a psychological approach of not having it on his desk taunting him, and also giving him the permission to tell someone he hadn't received it and would deal with it as soon as the post arrived!

Thanks venus

Turns out I was worrying about nothing (as usual)

And that's really tough to hear you could ever be in the position of contemplating suicide I'm so glad you didn't and I bet all your friends and family are too

Just been on a cutting down for November thread and the level of denial from some people reminds me of what I was like in the beginning - am now wondering if I do have a problem ? Lots of people drinking more than I ever did ...mmmmm.......

joey I was so nervous about starting a new job once, I found myself hoping that I would get run over on the way to work so that I could go to hospital instead. Daft innit. Once I got over my nerves, I loved that job and met one of my best friends there. We never know what lies around the corner.

Happy birthday 70, are you doing anything special this evening?

Mouse just to let you know I'm thinking about you at this very difficult time. Pop in if you can, won't you, just to let us all know you're ok (or not ok) x

No nothing special - but never do :)