Just married..issues

[pnutter]

Hi
massively long story cut v short
married for 3 months
My kids tolerate but don't seem to like my husband. We had a brief engagement.

My husband is turning out to be rather self centred. I feel pretty much like a hand maiden all of a sudden.
Do you keep going..work through the cycles (I've been married before)
Or cut your losses (yes it's a possible 3 months in not good I know) and up heave the kids again ??

Reread that realised how shit it sounds..no info whatsoever. I am depressed at the moment. Actually anxious rather all the time. I've rushed into a marriage. I love him. He's not ALL he cracked up to be but maybe that's in relation to my expectations. Have I truly just fucked up and should walk away or keep at it? We have good times. The bad times are generally that I feel a second class citizen.

How long did you know each other before you got married?

What was your relationship like before you got married?

What was his relationship like with the children before you got married? How old are your children?
Are you working?
How is the running of the household divided?

I think you need to make your very short story a little bit longer to give us some context.

We used to live together about 12 years ago..since them marriages kids etc
My son doesn't like him (21) my daughter tries her best but he's not daddy and she's not over keen in her words.
I work but I'm on sick due to anxiety depression since we got married. I'm bipolar.

I feel like I've married the right person and I love him always have but the way our life is at the moment doesn't seem to fit quite right?

I'm not feeling too good..Been off sick and have been finding it hard to cope.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused.

Your son is 21? You all used to live together 12 years ago? For how long?

Given your information about bipolar, how stable were you feeling when you married him?

Are you being supported with medication/counselling etc. at the moment?

Yes ! Cross post. I'd like my kids back (truly back) what a shit mum
I don't really know what to do now . He's not completely awful . He's very quick to blame me for everything. But he can be kind. Shit .

We loved together when my son was young..he wasn't really interested in my son then and I made up the missing pieces sort of. Hence my son doesn't like him
I don't get any support. My gp doles out my meds

Do your kids live with their father most of the time?

You are not a shit mum, but you are unwell.

I'm finding it hard to follow your story. Sorry.

Sorry little fish my son is away at uni my daughter with us.
My heads all over the place so I'm not surprised it sounds confusing

You really need more support than just medication.

Could you ask MNHQ to move this thread to the Mental Health section to see what other support should be available to you?

If only there was ..I am on a waiting list for re referral to psychiatrist.

I've managed to keep a full time job for 12 years and now he wants me to quit and I want to because I can't deal with the conflict . I'm really in a mess

If I divorce (or dump) him now I still have my house (he moved in) my job (not resigned still on sick) and my children

but I will lose him. And he does for whatever reason mean a lot to me

I'm stupid ..I see it now. Thank you mn x

Don't leave your job. Or rather, don't leave your job unless YOU want to, not just because it is the easiest thing to do.

Were you in a high phase when you married him? What you've written suggests a quick reconciliation and marriage - how quick was it?

You're not stupid pnutter.

You're unwell.

Do you want to talk it through some more?

I need to go to bed now, but I'm sure that someone else will be along in a minute.

We met up again in march married in august. Yes looking back (not easy to see at the time sadly , I was pretty high)

Thank you little fish x I'm ok.

Could you ask him to move out for a while? To give you some space to think and concentrate on getting better? So you feel strong enough to make good decisions.

You aren't stupid. You are stressed.

Thank you polo wow yes am I stressed!! Panic attacks..suicidal thought just so tired so unhappy .
I will try to ask him to go for a while. I'm guessing the answer will be anger . But then I can't live under this strain.

Also..I have the whole world and his wife on my back telling me how crazy I am
it's so hard . I'm on my own.

pnutter - he shouldn't get angry. You should go to bed now and get a really good night's sleep. I'm going to bed now but I'll check back here tomorrow to make sure you're OK. You'll be fine. X

Thank you x