Does your partner give you sufficient emotional support?

[StepDoor]

Does your partner give you sufficient emotional support?

Yes/No will suffice

Mind are you me? Spooky!

My partner was raised terribly and is now the most self centred person I know.

I had major surgery and when I arrived home he promptly left me with toddler and went And had a shower. I really needed to lie down.

Just one of the many stories

Mind I could have written your post about the anger. Do you think you will stay?

Nope. But glad that there are people out there with supportive OHs (warms the sole to know) and huge hugs to all those feeling lonely.

Yes

Yes. He's great with women in general - mother, sister, friends.

I don't want to give the wrong impression of him. He is warm, kind and loving, he just forgets that I don't always want things fixed. It's not like he doesn't give me emotional support, it's just we differ on what that is at times so I spell it out to him so I get what I want.

He is often likely to do more for me when I am down or something is worrying me, like cooking me an extra special meal or taking over a job I am doing so I can go read. We just show it differently but I have never felt unloved.

My ex on the other hand didn't give me any. It was awful and I never felt so alone. He was incapable of talking about emotions. Even when he was dying he couldn't talk openly about his feelings and I find that really sad.

winnie

NO. Am working my way out. It's taking time but I know what I need to do now. I don't know if I deserve more than being the 'transference object' for him, but my kids don't deserve to grow up seeing it. It isn't healthy. He cant seem to 'help himself' and doesn't want anyone else to either (as he has no problems, you see, it's all me!). The only way to change the 'stuckness' is for me to go.

Will you stay do you think?

Girl - yes, I can well imagine that. Mine 'wasn't sure' if he was coming to the planned c-sec of his daughter the day before...
I have learned never to ask him anything - he revels in denying it.

It IS good to know that others have a very different experience though. It gives me hope for the future.

In writing a pros and cons list this morning of the relationship.

We live apart at the moment due to looking to buy.

The con list is long. I've stuff written down that he's done over the years (5). Wish I had left sooner. He's very angry and depressed too and it's so draining.
I had a thread a month or so ago about him screaming/shouting at me while in labour as I asked him to go slower over bumps :(

What really hurts is whenever I've been at my lowest with ds and really needed help (for reasons such as ds up all night etc) he'll either get angry at being disturbed or lash out or say 'well what do you want me to do?' Ffs. Feel so depressed this morning.

No not at all . He just doesn't 'see' me or seem to care.

I fear the future when i no longer have my Mum, Grandma & Grandad around and DH is all i am left with for support. I'm fucked.

He's always very practical in his advice. He's not bad at empathy.

He doesn't do sympathy, at all.

I get that from female friends. It's fine by me, it works for us.

Yes, she does. I need very little though.

I doubt if I provide enough for her. I'm not entirely sure what it is, how to display it or even if I can anyway. Not the kind of stuff I was ever really taught about.

I am pretty self-contained really, and tend to think problems through for myself (classic introvert) but when I need my dh he is always there for me.

Nope. Never did. It was all about his 'needs' and 'issues'. Always It was miserable and I'll never be with someone so selfish again.

Same as Taffeta

No and I have stopped expecting any

Yes. He's been an amazing support throughout our relationship but especially over the last 6months when I've gone through what has been the most difficult time of my life. I don't think he realises how much he's been there for me, and I've probably been rubbish at showing my gratitude.

Nope sadly

God I am stunned by the number of you that get no support from your husbands. Absolutely stunned.

DH is my rock. He can be a grumpy git at times, but he has supported me unswervingly through all manner of shit over the last ten years, both emotionally and in picking up the physical slack when i've been out of action for whatever reason.

Yes, he is very good in that way.

No.

No, none at all. He gets annoyed when I'm ill as well. What MindReader wrote 'I have learned never to ask him anything - he revels in denying it.' sums up it perfectly.

Yes, DP is very supportive. XH not at all, hence the x!

No, we have very different ways of looking at things though.

No because he is an entitled twat