Would you give this guy another chance?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I've arranged a date with a guy I met online. He works for the mod as a bomb disposal expert and has one of those jobs where he can't tell anyone where he's going. It sounds exciting but there are draw-backs.
We arranged a date for Friday night a week ago. He then told me he would have to postpone for two weeks but we could possibly meet today. Yesterday all seemed positive for today then he texted me today and was very apologetic but he had been called into work and we could go out when he returns in two weeks. ( abroad on some kind of mission)
If he didn't have this type of job I would tell him to get lost but we talked for over an hour on the phone and we seem to really get on.

I just feel deflated as I was looking foward to meeting him.

Gosh ... When I read that back his job sounds totally far fetched but he has told me where he works and it is a local unit renowned for his kind of work. X

My married alarm bells would be ringing loudly.

But I'm an od cynic

My STBXH is in the army an they don't have to be that secretive just no exact locations etc etc. The news tells people were all our soldiers are all the time! Who does he think he is James Bond?

I'm sorry but it sounds like he's married to me.

Sounds very far fetched to me - sorry.

I'm a cynic too. As I read your first paragraph, the little voice inside my head was saying, oh REALLY?? Having said that, a friend of mine met a bloke online a while ago, and he said he was a fireman. Turns out, he was a plumber, but she gave him a second chance and they're now happily married with children. Unhelpful, I know. But your guy doesn't SOUND very reliable to me...

I just wonder how he'd get away with an hour long call if married. I'm sure there are ways.

Yeah sorry I'd be needing to see an MOD payslip.

He's married.

I'd think 'married' too to be honest, I remember someone feeding the 'have to go away on Special Ops' type line to my friend's mum when they were dating a few years back- he went to some length to keep the story going but it was nonsense.

You've got to give him 10 out of 10 for originality. Abroad on a mission, my arse... :)

I know where he works and it is mod and tbh he has told me parts about his job which unless he's a complete fantasist do ring true.

It's hilarious the bullshit these people come up with. I feel really gullible now!

1. You know where he works, but do you definitely know he works there? (IYSWIM)
2. He could easily be a complete fantasist. Absolutely do not rule that out!

Is his first name Walter?....

You "know" where he works from him "telling" you where he works. That could be a lie so he can use the "mission" story.

Oh I am a cynic aren't I!

He could be the person sweeping up at the MoD and it doesn't take much research to find out about bomb disposal.....

It's pretty obvious you want to give this guy another chance. If/when you do, go in with your eyes open and treat everything he tells you as 'information that needs cross-referencing'.

I wouldn't continue because this type of relationship will present a whole range of problems, are you really willing to take that chance?

Thing is if you know that parts of his story ring true as a civilian, then so would he........

On the other hand, someone's GOT to be an MOD bomb disposal expert who goes on secret missions, so why not him, I suppose? (Sorry OP!)

He's probably a cleaner at the establishment he's mentioned. People pick up all sorts of knowledge being around others with proper jobs.

Perhaps he is telling the truth, in which case you entire relationship will be like this. That may actually be the biggest consideration.

I would carry on meeting and dating other people, life is too short. If you meet in two weeks all well and good, if you don't, you won't have lost time sitting in on your own.

I'd try googling him - even if the nature of his work is discrete he might have some degree of professional profile, or other internet presence to put your mind at ease, or ring more alarm bells. I'd also ask where he lives, look in the phone book and ask if can give you his landline .

Or see if he would accept a FB friend request, or just have a look at his profile - a lot of people don't keep everything private

Should give you a bit more of an idea of he's genuine.

I'd be thinking maybe married too (even if he does work for the mod)

I used to work in the MOD. I was a civil servant, but if I wanted to I could weave an interesting story about my "job" and this chap could be the same.

Civil servants (and other civilian workers) do actually get to find stuff out.

This chap could easily be working at the place mentioned, just not in the role he's cast himself in. A unit like that would still have some admin and other civilian staff.

No, I wouldn't go on a date with this man OP. But I might invent an alter-ego and have exciting fictional adventures on line with him.

D'ya fancy being a modern day Mata Hari for a while?

Load of old crap. My husband holds a job where he can't always say where he's going.

Let me tell you people who genuinely are in sensitive jobs don't announce it to complete strangers what they do let alone talk about missions.

He's probably a wannabe married cleaner or something if he even does work there.