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Original poster

Would you give this guy another chance?

106 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 04/10/2014 14:17

I've arranged a date with a guy I met online. He works for the mod as a bomb disposal expert and has one of those jobs where he can't tell anyone where he's going. It sounds exciting but there are draw-backs.
We arranged a date for Friday night a week ago. He then told me he would have to postpone for two weeks but we could possibly meet today. Yesterday all seemed positive for today then he texted me today and was very apologetic but he had been called into work and we could go out when he returns in two weeks. ( abroad on some kind of mission)
If he didn't have this type of job I would tell him to get lost but we talked for over an hour on the phone and we seem to really get on.

I just feel deflated as I was looking foward to meeting him.

OP posts:
Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 04/10/2014 16:10

In the mean time I'm looking for more dates.

OP posts:
Original poster
superstarheartbreaker · 04/10/2014 16:12

I don't believe it entirely but I had an hour long conversation that flowed quite well and there quite a few clues... Positive ones. People have stranger jobs.

I once worked as a zoologist watching frogs bonk in a rainforest for 7 weeks in Trinidad ; the trip largely paid for by the University of Glasgow. You might laugh and call me a liar but I can assure you that it was true!

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 04/10/2014 16:14

Blimey - i studied biochemistry and bomb disposal expert was never suggested to me as a potential career! Ironically ive just taken a job as a cleaner

Mammanat222 · 04/10/2014 16:15

"He didn't say mission. I said it. What his words were he's going to be deployed for two weeks as from today and he had to cancel as he'd been recalled to work. He studied biochemistry at uni and specialises in chemical weapons and with all that's going down in the world right now I'm keeping an open mind! so you know what... Part of me does believe him! He was in the navy for 7 years"

How do you know what he studied and whether he was in the navy for 7 years??

"My friends dad was in the Navy and he was often sworn to secrecy about his work"

Urm this guy isn't sworn to secrecy if he is telling you???

Sorry my dear but I think you need to accept the obvious here? You've been duped.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 04/10/2014 16:15

My dad was in the Navy. Did LOADS of supersecret stuff. Seriously. He never ever discussed it. Never even discussed it to say it was secret (because that spurs some people on to ask more). It was just this big black hole of "no information, no anything" like it didn't exist. No skulking around. No making a big deal of it. Completely and utterly under the radar with it all.

The moment someone makes a big deal out of their super secret squirrel stuff, the "dork" radar starts buzzing.... Hmm

Masterbuilders · 04/10/2014 16:16

Reality check for you my love. People who work in sensitive positions would never utter a word about their precise job, ever. They just mooch along and don't discuss it. It makes them a target.

As a bomb disposal guy, this is bullshit, it's not the type of job that is usually cloak and dagger. Say, just say he was in a cloak and dagger role, he wouldn't be shouting it out online to a stranger or discussing deployments.

He's spun you an utter line and you've fell for it. Chances are he maybe ex serving, and is one of those who didn't do so well so used his knowledge to embellish a whole new career.

He sounds a fantasist and married to boot. If you fall for it, there is no hope for you as said above. Plus with all going on in the world as you say, what exactly do you think needs doing so urgently by him, they called just him up for 2 weeks Hmm

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 04/10/2014 16:20

Oh, and the only reason I know that much is because my mum explained it to me after he died. I knew nothing about it growing up.

eddielizzard · 04/10/2014 16:21

it's a no from me too.

Smilesandpiles · 04/10/2014 16:21

Chances are he maybe ex serving, and is one of those who didn't do so well so used his knowledge to embellish a whole new career.

Just like Iain Duncan Smith. Grin

Seriously though, Please wake up before you dragged into this any further.

WildBillfemale · 04/10/2014 16:22

This thread gets funnier, is the OP Gail from Corrie? didn't she get spun the pilot line by a bloke who was a security guard in a shopping centre?...

OP he's a Walter Mitty stop being so gullible.

I see MOD bomb disposal staff removing unexploded WW2 bombs from my coastal town rather frequently, it's not cloak and dagger. People gather to watch albeit a safe distance away.
Oh yes and anyone who is seriously an expert on chemical weapons would not be talking about it during an hour long conversation with someone they've never met.

Ask him if his code name is KABOOM!

Satinlaces · 04/10/2014 16:22

You're a smashing poster OP. Who cares if it's true.

He's certainly given lots of women a bit of fun today.

Castlemilk · 04/10/2014 16:22

It's not the fact that he has an unusual job - I do, plenty of people do.

It's the using the 'secrecy' and 'deployed' thing to get out of planned meetups and provide excuses for strange patterns of contact.

It's textbook, unfortunately. The answer is: people who have genuinely high-security type jobs DON'T TELL RELATIVE STRANGERS ABOUT THEM. They simply say they're civil servants or something. If a bloke you barely know tells you about his 'secret deployments' - then you can be assured that they don't exist.

He could be married. He could be a fantasist trying to impress you type. One thing is for sure, he is almost certainly lying.

WildBillfemale · 04/10/2014 16:30

OP hopefully it's sinking in now that he's telling huge porkies.

Can you keep him going for our entertainment? ask him which unit he is in or how do they flush the chemical weapons away, get him to teach you morse code, ask to see his Beretta ......and remember to report back here................

Cantbelievethisishappening · 04/10/2014 16:31

He works for the mod as a bomb disposal expert and has one of those jobs where he can't tell anyone where he's going

He is spinning you an absolute line.

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 04/10/2014 16:32

My Pa WAS an electronics/explosives expert in the Navy. Albeit many years ago. Quite pioneering. I never had a bloody clue about half of what he did, until many years later. Still don't really. It seemed so boring that when he was away I told people he was a bank robber in prison because it seemed more edgy and glamorous.
Tbh if he was called in at the last minute to go somewhere he'd probably still be in the Navy or working for a private company that doesn't base its employees at MOD bases.

mymummademelistentoshitmusic · 04/10/2014 16:35

There used to always be a massive joint exercise finishing around now, he could be TA and off there for the last two weeks, but that'd have been known for months.

Marcipex · 04/10/2014 16:42

Sounds like my Ex. When not helping on secret mission to assassinate a really bad guy behind the iron curtain. And a bit busy with the SAS. And a trained assassin.
Oh no, just a low life unfaithful two timer with a God complex, after all. But good at spinning a line, quite the charmer.

TonyThePony · 04/10/2014 16:46

This thread is really really making me want a super secret exciting job.

KeemaNaanAndCurryOn · 04/10/2014 16:48

I'd say married or fantasist. Either way it doesn't look good.

Lots of women get duped by this kind of stuff. You've never met him and you only have what he's telling you to go on.

I'd avoid at all costs.

Wrapdress · 04/10/2014 16:50

Also have a relative who did "secret" stuff and he couldn't say anything about what he did. Nothing. He couldn't do any social media like Facebook either. Your guy has said more than he should if he is involved in any secret operations.

My relative's marriage didn't survive his career, by the way.

Viviennemary · 04/10/2014 16:52

I wouldn't believe he's a bomb disposal expert. He might be but the chances are he isn't.

dalekanium · 04/10/2014 16:54

On the flip side, I have a mate who is a rocket scientist. We graduated together were housemates when he applied for the job, so I know the truth.

He has taking to calling himself a civil servant, because no one EVER believes that he really is a rocket scientist!

notnowImreading · 04/10/2014 17:02

Oh Gosh, is his name Will? A friend of mine met one with a very similar story online and ended up being strung along by him until she discovered his wife and kids.

PamDooveOrangeJoof · 04/10/2014 17:24

I think you should give up dating for a while. I've said it before on you other threads I'm sure. You seem to give time to absolute fuckwits again and again.

You seem to give good advice to others but never take good advice yourself!

Seriously, it's bullshit and he's probably married and definitely in a relationship.

myfriendflickadee · 04/10/2014 17:26

I met a guy online. On our first date he announced he was in the SAS. And it was true.

If you suspect this guy might be married, check him out on the electoral register, see who else lives at his address.

If he was an officer in the Navy, you can search the London Gazette to see when he received his commission, any promotions, and when he resigned his commission.