Mortified. It MUST have been him that downloaded swingers app!

[Seishan]

Yesterday I'm flicking through the iPad and notice an app on there called chance mingle. I clicked on it and it is as dodgy as it sounds, it's a swingers app. So my immediate thought is "dp wouldn't be stupid enough to download such a thing and leave it there!! Naughty ds has been messing on the iPad!". I went down to DP and told him what "ds had done". He reacted in a dry, weak voice saying " you're joking ... " and in hindsight, it was the voice of a man thinking "shit!".
Now, I didn't really think much of it ... But I've just been laid awake and it suddenly came to me "hang on, you need the password to download apps ... Ds doesn't know the password. I have trouble putting it in right half the time ... Does this mean it MUST have been DP?? I've looked on it and it seems to be set to our home city but I can't log in, no username or password has been saved.

Now for a bit of background info ... 3 years ago dp was found out on casual sex sites and chat sites. He swears he never intended to actually do anything and wouldn't do it again. 3 years later I find this. He knows I know all his email addresses etc so if he is re-registering on such sites he's using a new, secret email address and bring extremely careful with computer/phone history as I've checked all that out.

Is there any way he DIDNT download the app?? Only us two know the App Store password but to leave it on there for me to find??

Also - just tried to download it on my phone and you need all your card details just to download it

Yep, of course it will have been him. Set to your home town?? Who else could it be?
He probably downloaded it on his phone and hid it in an innocuous folder thinking that was never going to seen and forgot that iCloud helpfully syncs devices.
I am really sorry. What a horrible man. Sounds like you need to get yourself tested as it is highly unlikely he just 'looks' at this stuff.

If you are sure that your password has not been compromised, then it can an only have been one of you two.

It's not likely to be something that you'd have forgotten doing yourself, is it?

Unfortunately, sometimes catching people in lies/secrets leads them to putting their efforts into lying better, rather than into living a life that makes them and the people around them happy without lies and secrets.

How old is your ds? Why on earth would you think it was him and not your 'd'p who was on sex sites previously?

Ds is 13 and has been known to tinker with the laptop / pc and look up dodgy sites but not swingers sites. I think I must have had my " oh no not again" blinkers on

If you can get into his Itunes account you can see what apps have been purchased.

And - even if he deletes the app now - it will still show in Purchase History.

No, your man downloaded that (it would not have got there by accident either but by design) and he has looked at casual sex sites before now. You also saw your partner's facial expression and weak voice when you mentioned it to him. How much more evidence is needed by you here?.

Does he 'work late' and go out a lot at unusual times without you? It was def him.

Yes, you know that when you download an app to your phone, if it's free/ compatible with the iPad then it downloads onto the iPad also and vice versa. He's downloaded it to his phone and forgotten that you will see it.

What are you going to do now?

The username and password would have been entered into the phone version.

It isn't looking great op - he has prior form and sounds like he is the only possible candidate for downloading the app. I hope it has been deleted now?

Well, of course it was him.
I'm sorry op x

If iPad is synced with his iTunes then go on iTunes, purchased, not on this iPad and it will show away of all apps downloaded using that account.

DS did not download that app.

So this is the SECOND time he has done this now?

Have you thrown him out yet, or are you going to go with three times the charm?

Yes, it's him. Check his purchase history.

Yes it's him....

So sorry.... but relieved its not your 13 year old

Sorry OP.

Have to say though, I feel most sorry for your poor DS. Why would you think it was him when your "D"P already has form for this krap?

It's also very low that he was prepared to let your son take the blame for this.

What a coward.

So now what, OP?

Triple whammy

1. he has previous form....I presume it was agreed that you forgiving him was based on the idea he neer does such a thing again ?

2. yes, he did this

3. he was happy for a child to take the blame

Your next step is to LTB, surely ?

Ok I went in App Store and it's in there as the last app downloaded. But it would be no matter who downloaded it. Anyway, dp and I are the only people in the house with iPhones. Youngest son doesn't have a phone and eldest has a samsung. Dp also has a work phone but that's not an iPhone either so whoever has done it has used either my phone (but naturally there is no trace of it on my phone and good luck working out that password because I can't even remember it!), dp's phone (which looks clean at a quick nosey) or the iPad itself. App Store is passworded so it had to be dp!? But why the hell would he leave it on there and he still hasn't deleted it. It all seems a bit odd.

It's funny but last time all this happened I was at university. I ended up dropping out through the stress of it all. Dp has not been keen on me going back and what a coincidence, I'm due to go back tomorrow and I find that plain as day on the iPad. I really hope he wouldn't be bastard enough to try this again to make uni too much so I drop out

Perhaps he thought you wouldn't see it. I'd stop looking at the how's where's and whys and concentrate on the factual stuff you have found.

He has downloaded a swingers app

doesn't it show you when exactly it was downloaded?