Boundaries - new guy

[Nothappening]

I am not comfortable with this - what do you think?

I have been chatting to a guy (younger than me) online and he has been bombarding me with messages, telling me how wonderful I am, etc.

In a week, things have progressed from discussing when to meet up for a coffee to him coming to my place in a taxi, never having met before, and staying the night. He has been pushing me for this saying how well we would get on, what he's going to do to me in graphic detail, how exciting it would be...

I have told him over and over I won't do this and was expecting to meet up with him a few times first. He says he is not available, even for a quick drink, until the night in question.

Now it turns out my dc will be at home after all and I have a babysitter arranged. I suggested meeting up, having a few drinks on the town, see how it goes. At first he said, great, whatever you want. Then he said we will get a hotel room. I said I have to get back home. Then he suggested finding somewhere secluded! Now he is pushing to meet up in a pub close to my home then wants me to sneak him in my house, spend the night together, and then he gets an early taxi home. He is saying things like, 'I want you this weekend.'

My point is, I have never met the guy, how do I know I will remotely be attracted to him? Why won't he accept I just want to meet up first? He is doing a very good persuasive job on me, flattery, etc, but when I step away I know it's not right. And even if I am overwhelmingly attracted to him, I am not going to bring him to my home on the first night with my dc in bed, am I?

I need to cancel, don't I?

God yes you should cancel! He sounds like he's confusing you with an escort service! I'd go further and say that you should drop contact. Flattery is always nice but you should run a mile from people that don't take no for an answer

In a word - yes.

Run for the hills ...

Run away! It seems every conversation you have turns to sex. It's all he wants.

Cancel, delete, block.

How can he think this behaviour makes him attractive?

Yes you do need to cancel!!.

He should be blocked from your life as of now, this person sounds completely unhinged and has no concept of respect or boundaries whatsoever. Such men are controlling and controlling behaviour is abusive behaviour. You're seeing all this already. There are more red flags about him than at a communist party rally; the constant bombardment of messages containing protestations of how wonderful you are already (even though this has all been online) and not taking no for an answer are two that stick out here.

No is a complete sentence and do not under any circumstances meet up.

Read Joe Carver's article called "The Loser" as well.

You are so right. He said yesterday, that's three mornings where you have had cold feet. I said, so listen to me. By the end of the conversation, he is in my bed all weekend.

You don't need to meet him to know he isn't treating you well now. Wth would you want to meet him for a coffee, much less sleep with him? You won't hear from him again once he has got what he wants. Cut all contact.
Oh and yes, the taxi and lack of any effort to build a connection suggests he is probably married. Even if he isn't, he is treating you as less than human, which is not a good sign.

Dear lord! Block him! Seriously you are not considering this? You have a child for whom you are responsible. Act responsibly and do not bring this man in to your life. You have not even met him.

If you are looking for a fuck buddy then that is ok but I am sure there are safe ways if irganising that without involving your dc. But it does not sound like that is what you want.

Cancel, delete, block and if the messages are via an online dating website, report the message thread to them.

Yuk and yuk. Agree with the others!!

Good god, yes cancel and stop contact.

You've never even met each other, neither of you can know whether or not you'll fancy each other in real life.

No! No! No!

Well yes, cancel, but you know what I mean

Why on earth are you even in contact with this pushy, inappropriate loser? Tell him to fuck off and block him.

what a pushy prick at best, sinister creepy freak at worst! I dont mean to be patronising but have you get self esteem issues? I'm not sure why you would entertain someone who is blatantly 'insisting' you sleep with him on a first date.

Youre better than this Op

What is wrong with you??

What personal details does he know about you? Real name? Telephone number? Address?

This happened to my friend, almost exactly the same, and he raped her.

What the hell is wrong with you, that you still have a thing to do with this creep? He wants a no strings shag. He doesn't see you are a person, just a vagina.

Tell him to go away and block.

I cannot believe you'd even consider talking to this perv.

It is very concerning that he's trying to get you to consent, in advance, in writing, to sex. With your child in the house.

Can you not see how wrong this is?

Oh Arcadia how awful - your poor friend. Op take heed!!

If you can't see how very wrong this is then OL Dating is not for you. No way should you even think of meeting this sex pest.

Run run run.
He doesn't want a relationship. I am concerned about your safety. Block him.

Yes of course I can see this is wrong! That's why I'm here.

It's scary though how easy it is to be manipulated.