Boundaries - new guy

[Nothappening]

I am not comfortable with this - what do you think?

I have been chatting to a guy (younger than me) online and he has been bombarding me with messages, telling me how wonderful I am, etc.

In a week, things have progressed from discussing when to meet up for a coffee to him coming to my place in a taxi, never having met before, and staying the night. He has been pushing me for this saying how well we would get on, what he's going to do to me in graphic detail, how exciting it would be...

I have told him over and over I won't do this and was expecting to meet up with him a few times first. He says he is not available, even for a quick drink, until the night in question.

Now it turns out my dc will be at home after all and I have a babysitter arranged. I suggested meeting up, having a few drinks on the town, see how it goes. At first he said, great, whatever you want. Then he said we will get a hotel room. I said I have to get back home. Then he suggested finding somewhere secluded! Now he is pushing to meet up in a pub close to my home then wants me to sneak him in my house, spend the night together, and then he gets an early taxi home. He is saying things like, 'I want you this weekend.'

My point is, I have never met the guy, how do I know I will remotely be attracted to him? Why won't he accept I just want to meet up first? He is doing a very good persuasive job on me, flattery, etc, but when I step away I know it's not right. And even if I am overwhelmingly attracted to him, I am not going to bring him to my home on the first night with my dc in bed, am I?

I need to cancel, don't I?

If a man wants to discuss sex before even meeting you then he is not looking for a relationship, he is making it perfectly clear what he is after.

What's clever about saying he's not going to bother using a condom?
OP, your twat radar is clearly not off but it does need turning up a bit!

I've fallen for this sort of thing before and I'm not stupid. You get carried away by all the excitement and apparent passion. I don't fall for it any more.

Gosh, I mean... actually speechless. You shouldn't even have to ask, surely, he sounds pushy and AWFUL. Run like the wind!

OP, I think you need some urgent RL help. You were getting carried along with this for a while. If he had been only slightly less pushy, you'd have put yourself right in harm's way by now.

Thank God for Mumsnet.

But you were there. Right there.

WH didn't you bin him off immediately when he started getting weird?

Oh my gosh! Why on earth would you even need to ask!? Why would you even contemplate still going ahead?!

Run as fast as you can.

Why on earth did you keep on communicating with him after he'd made this suggestion? Let alone arrange a date?

This guy is a psycho! Do not meet him!! Get rid!!!

Thank goodness you took the MN advice to have nothing to do with this dreadful creature.

What AnyFucker said. He almost had you. Please take care not to get so sucked in again....no physical harm done this time but repeated exposure to this sort of crap is bad for your emotional/mental health as well. Look after yourself.

OP, if it feels uncomfortable, then don't do it.sack them off, ditch them, run out the back of the restaurant if you have to.

Blimey OP... Im sure this is a lesson well learned. I on line date (maybe its new to you) and same as funky says, if i even get a glimmer of uncomfortable I never speak to them again. I don't analyse myself and say ... it could be me and maybe sometimes it is... who cares.... dont go there!

Meh, he sounds like a dickhead. Theres someone much better for you out there.

Men like this are constantly scouting for women with either low intelligence or low self esteem. Because some people WILL go along with crap like this, even when their gut is screaming at them that it's not ok.
Glad you saw sense, OP.

He did respond to my never want to see you text with, 'I am not going to spend a fourth day trying to persuade you.'

Thank you everyone, I feel suitably chastised. I will make sure my alarm bells are on higher alert in future.

I expect this thread to get at least two more replies (from posters) telling you not to date this man.

That, right there, is him acknowledging that he knew you weren't keen on his plans but he wanted to still try and push you into accepting.

Cock.

:)
Maybe we could place bets on it. :)

Anyway, I suspect you may still get more texts from him, but let's hope not.

He will move on now.

Do you think AF? I think he might give it a week or so and pop up again 'just to say hello / seeing how you are/can't stop thinking about you'

Mmm, probably whilst simultaneously trying his shit on another few women.

If OP has been clear enough, he will cut his losses and write her off as a no-go. Thankfully.