AIBU - DH and my changing appearance

[Volley2014]

I've always tried to be as natural as possible. Kept my mousy brown hair colour, accepted I don't tan in the sun, don't wear make up etc.

I'm in third trimester with DC1 and have put on a bit of weight and everything's bigger. As a result of preg I'm getting a few stretch marks and my hair has gone rather dull. So, for the first time ever I decided to get my hair coloured and to put on a bit of fake tan to make myself feel better. I also have started experimenting with make-up a little.

Well it's worked a treat. I feel great and I think I look good. It's not how i want to be forever but to make the negatives of pregnancy a little brighter, it's worked.

But DH's reaction has been off the scale. He cannot stop speaking about it. He wants sex on the kitchen table, in the bathroom, in public, morning, noon and night. This is a man who I had trouble getting to want sex with me every two weeks before this, let alone all this sudden passion, variety and running commentary. He was not even like this when we first met.

I have reacted badly. I want him to want me the same all the time. I don't like that he is turned on by this "fake" new look. I thought he liked me natural. He insists that he does, but that he prefers this.

AIBU (and puritanical) to feel annoyed about this? Instead of boosting my confidence, the increased sexual attention has depleted it. As although it looks good I don't feel that it is ultimately "me" and I don't want to continue doing it after pregnancy.

It also makes me think this slightly more high maintenance look is something he has always preferred over my natural, low maintenance look which I was so proud of. He has started sending me dirty texts with his fantasies and he never did that before. The change is alarming me.

What was his fantasy world before I changed my hair colour and skin colour and put on make up? Where was it focused? Certainly not on our marriAge (as evidenced by the previously scant sexual attention.)

I have told him a this and he just laughs and says he doesn't know what it is, he just likes it.

Am I just being stupid?

Because I gave you the respect of presuming you could read AND understand plain English Twinkle even if it differs from your own loaded take on things

I'm glad to see there's better balance on this thread now, with less self projection heavy posts from others, hopefully this will be if more help to the OP :)

If you're under the impression that anything you said subsequent to the comments I quoted mitigated them, you're incorrect. Although I suspect this is just bluster to avoid answering my question, which incidentally was not 'loaded', but perfectly straight-forward. Are you going to answer it?

No Twinkle I am not, I don't need to justify myself to you, or anyone else & I'm sure anyone else reading my posts with a less clouded eye, or obvious agenda than yourself, will read my post as intended, not as you interpret. That's not that I can't, but your attitude suggests that no matter what I say, you will read it your way regardless & I simply CNBA to waste my time.

I'm not here to debate with you or anyone, my point was simply to add balance to what was rapidly becoming a drum banging session for a certain feminist faction, a lot of it baring little relation to the OPs concerns, but as with my own posts, with certain posters reading things between the lines of the OP, that simply are not there. My involvement was simply damage limitation for the OPs sake.

As with Garlic, I'm happy to agree to disagree. We all have life experiences than bring us to where we are today, some learn & move on, others get stuck & sadly let that experience colour the view of the world. That's just life, but it's not healthy, nor helpful to repeatedly force those opinions as fact on someone who admits to feeling confused & is therefore vulnerable.

I bid you good day

I have an agenda? Posters are Feminazis? Nobody has forced anything on the OP. To complain that other posters are 'reading things between the lines' that aren't there is highly ironic in that context.

You've posted some quite extreme views, and when questioned got defensive & refused to answer. From the spelling, the tabloid labels, the paranoia, I infer perhaps you're just not very bright...

it's not healthy, nor helpful to repeatedly force those opinions as fact on someone who admits to feeling confused & is therefore vulnerable.

You seem pretty keen on doing that.

The red marker pen will be out next - hilarious

I've said enough on this subject, this is relationships, not AIBU, for the OPs sake, please remember that ladies

Good day

Op, if it's making you feel uncomfortable, then of course you're not being silly. It's not like it's a minor change in your DHs behaviour, from your op and subsequent posts, you seem to think that he's behaving like a different man? What do you think will happen when you return to your 'real' you?

I can understand how disturbing it must be for a man who was at best a twice a month chap suddenly acting like a character in a bad porn film. How would you like to take this forward? Do you have anyone in rl you can discuss this with?

I'm not getting the whole, before you weren't normal, now you're just doing normal growing, and so he fancies you thing. What's normal for you and what's normal for OP will be different, not everyone has to fake bake and dye their hair to be normal. And feminazis? Yes, because being sympathetic and concerned about a woman who is obviously confused and unhappy, is JUST like invading Poland. Maybe we should all just tell her to get over it? Talk about Godwin's!

I do see where you are coming from op. There a couple of things to thing about , your confidence has changed that can be very attractive. Doesn't mean he fancies all girls who look like this, you did it to feel better as you thought you would look better surely it's not a problem if he agrees. And finally it doesn't mean he would be like this all the time if you kept it up, it could just be the novelty