H headbutted ds......advice please

[thelineiswhere]

H (definitely not 'd'h) had been drinking bottled beers at home on Sunday afternoon.

He then decided to go to the supermarket as he often does on a Sunday afternoon to buy more bottled beers and some food items for his own personal consumption. (Money is not the issue here, so the shopping thing is a red herring but bear with me).

He was gone for several hours and I suspect he went to the pub for a couple of hours as when he came back he smelt of beer.

I was giving the kids some tea at this point and he dumped his shopping in the kitchen and hung round the table in the dining area adjacent to the kitchen winding the kids up ended up annoying ds in some way and ds told him to go away. H can be very annoying under the influence as he pushes the kids until they snap, I usually walk away but the kids were at the table eating. Anyway he wouldn't go away and was leaning in to them invading their personal space so to speak and ds pushed him away but it was like a hit on h's chest rather than a push and with that h had him pinned up against the wall with a chair and said "d you know what I do to people that hit me..... I headbutt them" and proceeded to bash his head against ds's which bashed back against the wall. Younger child was yelling at h to get off ds and leave him alone.

Ds was shocked and we all kind of yelled at h to stop. He started to tell me it was my fault and if I didn't start to... but never finished his sentence.

I reassured the kids later that h was very wrong to do this and checked ds wasn't injured.

h didn't speak to any of us for the rest of the evening as kids went to bed after a bath/shower.

Has he crossed a line here ? Things have been bad between us, he barely speaks to me at all but I assumed he'd snap out of it eventually like he always does.

[AgathaF]

Your children's welfare comes before your H's. Report to the police, then either leave with the children or get him to leave.

Line well and truly crossed.

[YellowTulips]

Totally unacceptable.

How old is your DS?

Sounds like your H has both an anger mgt and drink issue. Either of which are not appropriate parental traits.

He has to go. Simple as that. Sorry

[Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses]

Oh my goodness.

Your poor DC (and you).

I have NEVER said this before on mn or in real life, but you would all seriously be better off without him.

Various things in your post suggest that he often behaves this way (but doesn't usually hit them). You and your children don't need a vile, violent drunk in your lives.

[theDudesmummy]

Call the police immediately, get him out, have him removed if he is still there, or leave. NOW. Stick to your guns regarding pressing charges.

[Whereisegg]

Bloody hell, call the police! Your poor poor dc, protect them from this vile pig.

As an aside I hope he wasn't driving to the supermarket.

[RahRahRasputin]

He is so far over the line that he cannot see it.

He headbutted your child. Your other child felt he had to defend his brother from his father. It must have been terrifying for both of them.

If your son came home from school and told you that another child had pinned him to the wall and headbutted him so that he hit his head, what would you do? I expect you would go in and speak to the teacher. You would want to know what was being done to punish the child and to make sure that it never happened again.

You need to make sure that this never happens again. Maybe next time it will be worse.

Call the police and ask him to leave.

If you are worried he might be violent when you ask him to leave, please seek advice from the police or from Women's Aid.

[RalphGnu]

Yes, please call the police. You and your children are worth so much more than this. I don't even know you but there is never an excuse for what he's done. Never. It doesn't matter that your DS didn't suffer a visible physical injury. The police will take him away, they will help you.

[TheHouseatWhoCorner]

Call the police. Get him out of the house and make sure he never comes back.
Show the DC that you will always protect them above anything else.

[Badvoc123]

Are you seriously asking if it's ok that your husband head butted your son when drunk?
Jesus.
Do you normally watch him assault your son?

[TSSDNCOP]

Are you shittng us?

You've got to be, because surely no parent could stand by whilst their child was viciously assaulted whilst their other child looked on.

How bad must things be n your house generally that you can't see tnis is appalling?

[Badvoc123]

I really hope your ds tells someone...a teacher anyone.
Because he and his brother need protecting from this man.

[JuneFromBethesda]

I wouldn't let my children spend one minute more with him. The thought of anyone laying a finger on one of my kids ... let alone their own father Your poor, poor son, what an awful thing to happen.

Kick him out and keep him out. Bloody hell.

[gamerchick]

You have to be on a wind up.

Phone the bloody police woman!

[Fairyfellowsmasterstroke]

OP - Can't believe you didn't dial 999 immediately.

He hasn't just crossed a line, he's sprinted over it and left it miles behind him!!!

As a mother you must protect your DC now - next time (and, by the sounds of your "D"H there will be a next time) things could be worse.

You are their mother and protector - ACT NOW

[DialsMavis]

Police, your poor boy. Antagonised, threatened and then violently assaulted by someone who is meant to take care of him.

Yes, it is worrying that you have to question this.
Yes, you should have called the police at the time.... But I assume home life is so bad that you have lost perspective.

Your DC need you to step up NOW and you can turn this around. Their father is such a cunt that they only have YOU to protect them, this is why you must do this. Think about them asking you as adults how you let this go on?

Be strong, you have to.

[financialwizard]

theline I have been in a marriage where I was conditioned to think that being physically abused was 'the norm' and I remember minimalising his behaviour. It is hard but you really need to get him out of your and your babies life.

Lots of support on here for you xx

[FreeSpirit89]

Police. Leave him! I don't often say that on here, but he's done it once. He's a bully! And he needs to know that's not ok.

More importantly the children need to see that there is a system in place that protects them

[handfulofcottonbuds]

It is just as terrifying for your other child witnessing it.

Think about it OP, he pinned your son to the wall with a chair, headbutted him so hard that his head bounced off the wall - and you did nothing?? Why?

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

That was assault. I think you know exactly what you should be doing. Get rid. You have a duty of care to your boy yourself and other dc's if you have them.
As others have said that is crossing the line. If someone head butted your D.S outside you'd call the police so the same should be done of your h. Okay you may love him but no man should ever under any circumstances come before your child. As I said get rid. The next and believe me there will be a next time things could be a lot worse.

[AnyFucker]

This is going to be a unanimous thread

Are you going to protect your children, op ?

Has your son been to school this week ?

[theDudesmummy]

And do not think it will not happen again. It will. And worse. Please listen to what everyone is saying. Not tomorrow, not something to think about or sleep on. You and the children are in immediate danger, as surely as if the house was on fire or a criminal was climbing through the window. Call the police right now.

[MTWTFSS]

Absolutely disgusting!!! As a parent you are meant to be protecting your children, not being a spectator!!! 100% call the police!

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I'm not attacking you by the way, I realise you might be conditioned to question whether this is crossing the line. I just want you and your DC to be safe.

[emotionsecho]

A violent, druken bully assaulted your child, you should have called 999 there and then.

Report this assault to the Police now, please don't teach your children that this behaviour is acceptable or normal, one day they will see that it isn't and wonder why their mother failed to protect them from it.