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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Falling out withh Husband's friend

119 replies

MMRR1980 · 08/09/2014 13:17

Hi all,

I've been a visitor for a few years but wanted a some second opinions so decided to finally take the plunge and join!!

I wanted to know whether you think it is wrong to introduce a friend of my husband's (and my friend too, I guess) to one of my friends and say to my friend "he goes on lots of dates with ugly women"?

I did that the other day and he told me off, I meant it as a joke but he said it wasn't appropriate when he has only just met the person 2 minutes earlier.

My husband wasn't there and I don't think he has told him about it, but I wanted to know what you think in case he does tell my husband - am I in the right if it was just a joke or was it not appropriate and should I apologise?

Thanks!!!

OP posts:
BadLad · 09/09/2014 00:51

Occasionally people post on here that their children blurt out totally inappropriate comments because they have a condition that makes them unable to realise that what they are saying is unacceptable and socially inept.

If this incident actually happened, I think you might have such a condition as well.

oldgrandmama · 09/09/2014 11:10

I'm now thinking this is just a wind-up. Or else, if the OP is genuine, she's digging herself further and further into a hole!

Original poster
MMRR1980 · 09/09/2014 11:59

It's not a wind up, it happened on Friday and I wanted to get some second opinions. It's pretty clear what everyone thinks so thanks for taking the time to comment.

OP posts:
CarryOn90 · 09/09/2014 12:47

Why would you say to him "I think you're in love with me"???? this has got to be a wind up

But seriously, can you explain the context of the joke? As a previous poster said, if it had been something like "Oh you're going on another date! How many is that this week?!" that is obviously teasing, but I can't imagine how you would slip in "Did I mention, X goes on lots of dates with ugly women!" or something. Like did somebody say something about someone being ugly which prompted you? Just can't think in what situation it's a funny joke

NickiFury · 09/09/2014 13:00

Well I think you've got the message now, so I won't say anything more about the initial ugly women comment but I am wondering why on earth you'd even consider that he might be "in love" with you? Confused

kaykayblue · 09/09/2014 14:09

I told him I no longer feel comfortable having him around my friends because of how he acts, and told him I think he takes offence too easily because he might be in love with me

If you genuinely said this to him then I don't think you need to worry about it any more, as it's going to be difficult for him to want to remain friends with someone who says something so incredibly idiotic, vain and obnoxious.

AnyFucker · 09/09/2014 14:13

I was feeling a bit fed up today and then I read this thread. Thanks, OP, for the laugh.

DontDrinkAndFacebook · 09/09/2014 15:11

and told him I think he takes offence too easily because he might be in love with me

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHAAAAAAAA Grin Just when I thought you couldn't get any more dim and self-absorbed.

Jesus wept. On a scale of 1-100 of emotional intelligence you score about 3.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 09/09/2014 15:25

3 out of a 100? Being a bit generous, aren't you, DontDrink?? Hmm

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 09/09/2014 15:26

I vote for 2. Maybe 1.

mynewpassion · 09/09/2014 16:55

Have you apologised?

Or since your have in some posters' opinions, mine included, already sabotaged your friendship with him and maybe your husband's, too, you are going to do nothing?

Please update.

bberry · 09/09/2014 17:05

This is brilliant.... He he he, you were rude and inappropriate and are dismissing his feelings and taking no accountability... It's not a funny barb if the target doesn't think so

If I had been him I would have said "well, I have taken lessons from your husbands standards"

Seriously though.... . I wouldn't have.... I would have just walked away from you....

Original poster
MMRR1980 · 09/09/2014 17:10

Please update.

I'm just waiting for the right time, i'm not ready yet.

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 09/09/2014 17:18

Actually, OP, if this is genuine, I think you should just leave him alone now. He can still be friends with your dh if he wants but I think you should step back a bit and let the dust settle. Anything you say to him now will just aggravate the situation. Forget about him and move on.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/09/2014 17:21

I hope you apologise profusely.

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 09/09/2014 17:23

Have you told your DH about all of this?

Original poster
MMRR1980 · 09/09/2014 17:25

I haven't told anyone else, just you guys.

OP posts:
Gem124 · 09/09/2014 20:09

Huge apology needed. If I was your husband I'd be mortified you'd said that about a friend of mine

ferretyfeet · 09/09/2014 21:00

There's too much nastiness going around under the guise of "oh it was just a joke", your comments were not remotely funny and I am amazed that you cannot see that for yourself.

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