Falling out withh Husband's friend

[MMRR1980]

Hi all,

I've been a visitor for a few years but wanted a some second opinions so decided to finally take the plunge and join!!

I wanted to know whether you think it is wrong to introduce a friend of my husband's (and my friend too, I guess) to one of my friends and say to my friend "he goes on lots of dates with ugly women"?

I did that the other day and he told me off, I meant it as a joke but he said it wasn't appropriate when he has only just met the person 2 minutes earlier.

My husband wasn't there and I don't think he has told him about it, but I wanted to know what you think in case he does tell my husband - am I in the right if it was just a joke or was it not appropriate and should I apologise?

Thanks!!!

No, jokes aren't funny if they make the person they are about feel crap.

Your joke was not okay.

Stop trying to wind everyone up.

Not okay.

Ok, I'm getting that you all seem to think it was rude....but do you not think that as long as I mean it as a joke and wasn't being serious (and don't really think the women are ugly), didn't intend to hurt him, and as long as my friend also didn't think I was being serious then it is OK?

Non not funny at all. You sound like an immature dick.

I think he is right to be upset. It was a very odd thing to say and not even funny. You should apologise.

Ps. As long as about 4 different things are taken into consideration . . . .wtf!!

There is no but. You made an inappropriate 'joke' which upset someone.

Do the decent thing accept you hurt them and apologise with no ifs or buts.

Seems like everyone thinks I should apologise, I guess. I kinda had a bit of a go at him when he told me off so not sure how receptive he will be.

Thanks for your input though.

Seems like everyone thinks I should apologise, I guess.

No, I think it's pretty definite.

I kinda had a bit of a go at him when he told me off

Brilliant. Do you have a blog?

No blog, why?

Well, I was annoyed because I saw it as a joke and felt like I was being criticised because he didn't get the joke.

Well, I was annoyed because I saw it as a joke and felt like I was being criticised because he didn't get the joke.

What do you think of the thoughts above that it wasn't a joke because what you said wasn't funny but actually unkind, insensitive, rude and inappropriate?

I.e. the fault does lie in him lacking a sense of humour, but with you.

I meant that at the time and when he was telling me off I still thought it was a joke, it was before I posted on here.

Ah, I see.

You're not very funny, are you?

Has anyone ever laughed at one of your jokes?

But why was it a joke, OP? Exactly what was funny about what you said? Could you please explain where the humour was?

How is that a joke? Why do you think it's OK to suggest that ugly women are lesser people? Why the hell does every one seem to think that's bloody OK (not the majority of mumsnetters to be fair!). What On EARTH does the physical appearance of a person, over which they have no control, have to do with their value or worth???

God that blasé judging of women on their aesthetic makes me so angry.

he goes on lots of dates with ugly women

Sorry, but that was an offensive thing to say.

I asked him if he was annoyed because he like her or something

You didn’t really say that did you?!? Were you trying to make your gaffe even worse?

Sorry but there’s nothing you can do now except maybe shave your head find a begging bowl and go live in the wilderness. OK, maybe not quite that bad but seriously now you owe your DH’s friend a huge apology.

That's not a joke, it smacks of jealousy all wrapped up in a 'joke'

Do you fancy him? Are you a slight bit jealous of the women he is dating?

Wild stab in the dark but I just can't see any other intention behind that sort of comment!

I don't understand how it was funny either. Can you explain the joke OP cos I just don't get it.

Why is it funny to make personal negative comments about other women like this?

I am totally lost here............

Do you fancy him? Are you a slight bit jealous of the women he is dating?

Aha!

"Do you fancy him? Are you a slight bit jealous of the women he is dating?"

No I don't fancy him at all! He's more like a brother to me we're so close, in fact I describe him like that to some of my friends. Definately don't fancy him!!