The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

at mouse
Think wry is talking about her wank badger of a partner so not sure sending him to bed will work!
wry it's a sair fecht hen. Ye dinna need yon wee bochle in yer life.

He's 52 Mouse, old enough to know better.

I find it's best to stay quiet, argue back and he gets a bit scary, jolly him a bit and I'm taking the piss, calm and collected I'm being patronising. Staying out of his way seems to work best, but if I try to talk about things later it's a no go. Ach, my feelings for him are fading, I've tried so hard to make things work and I've lost me somewhere in the fog. I lost him to his girls on the screen some time ago, sad but true.

Thank you for your kind and wise words, I am glad (as I'm sure many are) that there is a Moose loose aboot this particular hoose!

I can't wait to read your blog, I'm sure it will be a beezer, full of life and honesty and zen. Have a good night sweet, xx

mouse and big hugs

And wry do you not think it is interesting that mouseface read the behavioural characteristics and assumed he was a difficult teenager? What does that tell you about how he is behaving? IN every post you make you come across as a funny, sassy, grown up, intelligent, sensitive woman. What are you doing with someone who behave like a petulant, difficult boy?

Two weeks ago you were strong, determined and powerful (even if you smelt a bit of horse ). So what was different then - well you were deliberately keeping a distance between you and the teenage-behaving boy, and also you were following your passions and your dreams, getting in touch with all that made you feel alive and happy (all that horsey, riding, muck-raking, tail plaiting, rosette-winning stuff). Your work sounds sometimes great, often hard, and sometimes shit, but it doesn't affect your mood (up or down) in the same way as your 'teenage' friend and your horsey stuff does. In fact, thinking about it, I don't think I ever read a post on here where your interaction with him has resulted in you feeling fabulous and strong and alive (not saying that he doesn't make you feel like that - just that you don't post about it).

So come on! Leap the fence and find yourself a real stallion and someone who will also walk alongside you like a pair of contented Clydesdales - strong but controlled, steady but proud.

And in any case, I know this is more your style....
Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need a body cry ?
Gin a body meet a body
Comin thro the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
Need the warld ken?

Aye... we may not have our freedom (or our banks, or currency, or cheap supermarket prices) but we'll always have our free prescriptions indecipherable Robbie Burns quotations!

wry I also laughed when mouse assumed you were talking about a teenager! That sort of behaviour is unnacceptable in my 12yo DD; at 52 your man is old enough to know better!

I'm also amazed that he doesn't see and respect the wry we have come to know on here - the funny, intelligent, kind, generous and totally fabulous person.

Day 1 done. Night all

Aww venus just emerged from the bathroom and read your post. So clear really, when you look at it written down. And you've got to love a bit of the Bard

Sadly can't remember when he last made me feel shiny, hell since Valentine's Day I've been puzzling. He doesn't love me anymore but still wants to be with me.

You're right, the horse trials made me find me again. I felt happier than I had done in an age. No worrying if he was getting bored, or hungry.

It may well be time to lowp the fence and find my Clydesdale.. He's asleep all that shouting had tired him out.

ma you named that tune in one! Xx

joey I think Mouse never spoke a truer word, he has certainly acted like a teenager today!

Love you guys, xx

wry send him to bed in the fucking alps. You don't need this shit. Why are you putting up with it? Life is so short and to be with someone who is not making you happy isn't worth it. Tell him to piss off. You've got Little, your horses, your job, the bus and the rest of your life without this silly excuse of a man.

Well done spanna

Morning babes, just checking in. Very glad to have made it through another weekend hangover free. Had some wild mood swings last week and had fixated on drinking on Saturday after doing so well . As you can imagine, yesterday old vinegar tits was buzzing about all day. I was feeling resigned but not excited, even annoyed about the hangover that would come. Anyway, I didn't bother and I feel so much better for it. Somehow, having got through last night, I feel like I can keep on keeping on that bit easier.

Spanna well done flower! as we all know day 1 is a bugger and a Saturday night to boot . Hope you feel clear headed, pleased with yourself and have a good day today Xx

Soc don't hold back . See you came over all protective for Why there! Are things all warming up there? We are ordering wood etc as the chill of the mornings begin.

Why I do agree with the other babes, you are worth so much more than a man who makes people cry without a backward glance. I am sure if Little could voice her opinion she would suggest putting him out with the rubbish

Mouse hello! Good to see you back and had to grin at the teenage advice for why too. X

Hope everyone has a good day, whatever you are upto. Take care babes x

beaches I could have written your post - resigned but not excited about drinking; in the end didn't bother... I was exactly the same last night, and like you feel better for it. Well done you.

I'm also pleased because I felt it was inevitable last night, so now I know that I have more control.

wry are you okay today?

beaches lol. I deleted a whole heap of other stuff I wrote as it was a bit harsh. I just don't get why we can't all just be nice to each other. Everyone is just trying to get through this life as best they can and god knows it's not easy.

The very least we should be able to do for each other is treat each other with a bit of respect and kindness. And to be nasty to someone your claim to like, maybe even love, is pathetic behaviour.

Being nice is much easier, and takes up much less energy than being nasty to each other. Plus being nice to others makes you feel better about yourself. There is no excuse for shitty behaviour.

Anyway, on that note I should put my sober sorry arse to bed. And yes it's getting warmer. oh I love the heat.
xx

Parallel lives Joey glad you resisted as well!! It is ridiculous really that resignation was almost the reason to sit down and pour in the wine. Surely joy or excitement should be more involved in the decision

Soc you are absolutely right! so much more rewarding to make someone feel a little lighter than to upset them. Usually reflects a lot of bitterness or insecurity inside when someone is just mean. I don't think being them would be much fun. night x

God, dh and dd2 discussing money and how much she owes us from her university money for the rent we have paid over the summer. ....I am hiding in the bedroom because this one is going to escalate....

Phew! Agreement reached without any door slamming or rivers of blood....that has to be a first!

How are you doing tonight ma ?

Just lost a big post, could cry. It was perfect. Never mind, eh. Ooooooonnnwaaaaaaards!

I've been riding today, and Little and I went to a pal's for lunch, in a calmer space.

joey, I'm fine quine, just sad. For him, for me, for what could have been. But check you oot! Kicking Madame Saggy's erse on a Saturday night! Fabulous, you are! (((((BigBosies))))))

soc thank you a raft of common sense in my stormy sea. Life is too short, I can't believe it's come to this, I am as bad as him. The love is hanging by a thread but the respect has gone. His girls on a screen have won, I can't fight it any more, I will never be enough. But, you get it. Being nice is far easier, he is bitter about stuff, I have tried to help but it's almost like he uses it as a blanket for any crappy behaviour. That's what's unforgivable, if he would just own up, sometimes be wrong, sometimes be sorry...

beaches Little would have him in a poo bag of her best offerings. After a luncheon of sprouts and rotten fish. Flamin brilliant that you resisted Saggy's goading,

spanna well done on day one darling girl, how's your day been? (((((((((UpliftingBosies)))))))

ma pleased you didn't have to get the Biotex oot on a Sunday afternoon! You must be floating in a little haze of zen!

Little and I are away to have our tea. The ox cheeks have been in the slow cooker since yesterday. I suspect we may be sitting down to a banquet of gravy....

alias I am fine thanks.
Dd2 is a catalyst for chaos, always has been. Either she winds dh up and there is a massive argument or she generates a house full of laughter. Just now, there is music blasting out of the front room and the sounds of Ds and dd1 in hysterics, so its clear dd2 is home for the night!
She is a vortex of energy and leaves a trail of destruction in her wake, but I love her to bits!

Wry another pic just for you... tell that useless fart of a man-child that if he carries on like that you'll send your crabby mate round to so this to him...

Do this to him, not so this to him.

Day 2 done

I've been a right grumpy old cow this evening My body feels like I've spent the week poisoning it, of course, I have I'm getting some chesty thing too. Urgh!

Ma your DD2 sounds lovely, how good it must be to hear them all giggling

Beaches you are awesome Babe, So Well Done for over coming Vinegar Chops. How many days is it now?? Keep going lovely

Wry hope your ox cheeks were yummy? Did you have them with mash? I bet Little couldn't wait, bless her Is the coast clear of WB? lovely peaceful evening I hope. Today's been funny DD2 (10) did the Ice Bucket Challenge, I poured the bucket whilst my friend filmed it. She did this speech before hand and nominated 2 of her school friends and said she was going to make a donation to Cancer Research, bless her cotton socks although she is behaving appallingly at the moment She really knows how to push my buttons

I can't bear all the physical withdrawals of the first few days AF. I feel like shite, mind you had fish pie and baked beans for dinner, yummy yum tum

I hope all you lovely Brave Babes are all ok xxx

Timothy Dalton, eh ma

Blade Runner's just started, one of my favourite films, doesn't finish until 12.45, perhaps not on a school night and work tomorrow

Hi everyone,

I'm new to the bus, but I'd like to hop on board and share the journey with you guys if that's ok.

I actually started reading the original thread 2 weeks ago. It was more curiosity about the topic as I didn't think my problem was "that bad". (I think subconsciously I knew my problem had become unsustainable for me.)

As I read the other posters' stories, I recognised myself in so many of the situations - drinking on days when I had promised myself I wouldn't, being unable to stop, sneaking in extra drinks, feeling panicked at the thought of trying to get through certain situations without a drink.

Anyway, I have been alcohol free since I started reading that thread, which was 15 days ago.

I'm taking things a day at a time, not projecting, and following "I want to drink" cravings through to the end - imagining my 19 mo twin boys seeing me as "a drunk" is a hugely powerful motivator, but I need to do this for me too.

TODAY I DO NOT INTEND TO DRINK ALCOHOL.

Hello. I'm new here. Well... a very old hand on Mumsnet, so have changed my name, but new to the bus. Although I did step on here a few years back but quickly got off again...

I have a long story I will bore all of you with at some point but for today can you offer me any comfort? Things are basically OK, which is why it's hard to stop drinking, but I know things will be better when/if I stop for good. But that feels too big. So 'just for today'. I'm scared that if I don't stop, things won't stay OK forever. I'm the strong person in our family, the one who holds everything together, the one who goes out to work, the one everyone relies on. But I'm slowly losing it... had some horrible scares in the past few weeks... and I know enough is enough.

I can and do avoid alcohol during the week, but then the weekends get longer strangely and suddenly I'm back to counting Thursday and Sunday... and then feeling wobbly when I go back to work. I hate travelling to work with a hangover, but it's been quite a common theme. This anxiety is another thing that's pushing me to make a change. I am an anxious person/worrier anyway - and alcohol just makes that so much worse.

Today I just need hand-holding and comfort and support. I want to go to an AA meeting but they all seem to be very early morning, or evening - and I'm not ready to tell DH (again) that I really do have a problem, so I'd prefer to go to some meetings during the working day. I've told him before but he thinks I'm worrying too much (!).

Can anyone help?