Would it bother you never getting married?

[Wineandmorewine]

Hi all,

DP and I have been together for 6 years, we have a DD2 and I am currently 5 months pregnant with our second, have also just bought our own house and due to move into that in November.

Last night we were discussing the upcoming wedding of our best and DP stated that he has decided he never wants to get married and is totally against it! This has come as a bolt out of the blue as it is something which we had always planned to do (have had many conversations about what type of wedding we would like etc) and also something that is very important to me. When I asked why the change of heart he said that he has seen so many go wrong eg. His parents and grandparents and he wouldn't want to put out DC through that.

Whilst I understand his point, I also said that regardless of whether or not we are married, a break up would effect our children either way and that if we are married we will be in a better place legally.
So I'm asking, what would you do? Do I give up on ever getting married and keep things as they are? Do I leave him in pursuit of marriage?? Which seems silly as it's him I want to marry! Do I try and convince him or is it best I leave it and hope he changes his mind?
Has anyone ever been in this situation?
Thanks for any advice

It does make a difference whether you are in Scotland or England.

In Scotland it is not possible to disinherit totally a spouse or children: they are each entitled to a third of moveable estate:

From this

2. Legal Rights

A surviving spouse or civil partner and children are entitled to certain "legal right" out of the deceased person's moveable estate. In Scots law, heritable property means land and buildings, while moveable property includes such things as money, shares, cars, furniture and jewellery.

The surviving spouse or civil partner is entitled to one-third of the deceased's moveable estate if the deceased left children or descendants of children, or to one-half of it if the deceased left no such children or descendants.

The children are collectively entitled to one-third of the deceased's moveable estate if the deceased left a spouse or civil partner, or to one-half of it if the deceased left no spouse or civil partner. Each child has an equal claim. Where a child would have had a claim had he (she) not died before his (her) parent, his (her) descendants may claim his (her) share by the principle known as representation.

If there is a will, then they have to chose which they want to accpet: the amount in the will or their "legal rights".

The other thing that is different in Scottish law is that a will is not automatically voided if you get married.

I have friends who had to get married even though it wasn't at the top of their agenda as he had (grown up) children who didn't like his longstanding new partner and wouldn't have abided by his will.

Thanks for that information prettybird. I think I got my joint tenants and tenants in common the wrong way round. Oh dear. Slinks off into a corner. Just shows that proper legal advice from a qualified person is neccessary!

Viviennemary - that's not right.

I have no idea about joint tenants and tenants in common: I just happen to know the bit about "moveable estate"