Been with bf 2.5 yrs, have a baby together. Went to the Edinburgh fringe for the weekend just the two of us. We have both been to the city once before separately, so not very familiar with the city. We were having fun, drinking and catching shows etc. I wanted some food from one of the food stands, we were waiting but other people were getting served before us (there was a poorly communicated queuing system that the staff were sticking to but customers were unaware of) my bf got pissed off (he hates queuing and has a short fuse in such situations) and walked off. I knew that he had had enough and would not want to return to this queue. I was really hungry and really wanted the food so stayed where I was, in the queue.
I heard him shout me a few times but I knew he would be wanting to go elsewhere and I wanted this food that I had already been waiting for, so I didn't turn around. After I got the food and moved away from the stall, my bf was nowhere to be seen.
I sat and ate the food, no sign of bf. I waited there for 45 mins. He didn't have his phone with him (he had my mobile number written down in his pocket) and my phone was very low on battery power. He didn't contact me, or come back.
It began raining. He had my waterproof with him when he disappeared. Eventually my phone died and I decided to go back to the hotel to recharge it and get my umbrella.
I felt really upset that he had basically abandoned me in an unfamiliar city and not returned or contacted me.
A couple of minutes after I got back to the hotel, he got back. He claimed that he hadn't gone off in a strop/anger, he had just gone to get some cash. I pointed out that if that was the case he could have told me, returned to the same spot or tried to call me. Eventually he apologised and we headed out again.
Later on when we got back to the hotel, we had sex, he was quite rough and seemed a bit angry. He didn't climax and said "you will have to suck me off" which I was a bit taken aback by. I didn't want to go down on him until he had had a wash but he kept asking me to. Eventually he had a wash and I gave him a blow job. He kept trying to feel my bottom and vagina, I asked him not to because I didn't want him to. He kept ignoring me and putting his hands down there which irritated and upset me.
When I started giving him the blow job he asked me to take it deep. I said it would make me gag, to which he replied "you will have to gag then". I ignored this and laughed it off as I was a bit drunk. He put his hand on the back of my head and was quite forceful, it made me gag a few times and I pulled my head away. He said "come on!" And when I gagged again he called me "pathetic" I am really upset and angry with him and feel like he treated me really badly. He has apologised because he knows he's upset me but the next day I was too upset to talk about it in detail and I'm not sure he remembers.
I don't know what to do now. This was very out of character for him. He has been very respectful in the past. I have post natal depression and can't think straight. I don't know if this was just a horrible one off incident that we could somehow get past or if it shows that underneath his loveliness he is really a nasty person?