Has anyone else been in this situation - husband calls me a f*cking b*tch

[nappyrat]

And I am so confused.

We recently had our first baby, and when he did it in front of him (had done it before then a fair bit, but it got worse when the baby arrived), but doing it in front of the baby basically signalled a new response from me, which was that I felt it was completely unacceptable.

12 months on, he has now moved out today, at my request.

And it has suddenly hit me that I may never now have the life I imagined, with him. And my baby may never now have her father living with him. And that at Christmases when we have to share our baby, I will feel like dying because my baby isn't with me, like he should be, because I am his mum....:(((( Crying at this...I can't bear the idea of this...

He seems to do it because he loses his temper. Which he does fairly regularly. Always later blames it on me, but then maybe it is partly due to me, I know I behave badly at times - am lazy, unreasonable etc. This is fact, it's not me being 'poor me'.

He is a professional man, earns £100k+ in a blue chip company, is generally well respected. And actually I think he loves me. He just cannot control his temper.

He has never hit me, we've been together 10+ years.

Has anyone else been in this situation? I could really do with some advice. I am so confused. There are lots of good points about the relationship, but I have been brought up to think that his behaviour is completely unacceptable. But on many other levels, he is a good man.

It is 2024 isn't it?

You seem to be saying that you're both abusive to the other.

So at best you aren't a great match. You aren't compatible.

He's meant to be the person who loves you most in the world and he calls you that? It's such a demeaning, disrespectful, sexist slur. I couldn't get past being called that once, let alone on a monthly basis. In front of my child.

If you honestly think he doesn't mean it (even so, it's still clearly hurting you, and it will affect your child, and why does he say it so regularly if he doesn't mean it?) then surely he's super apologetica nd appalled at himself, and has booked some anger management classes for himself? If not - then he's quite happy to keep abusing you.

If he can choose not to call his workmates and friends vile names, then he can choose not to call you vile names. He's choosing to abuse you.

And if you're right, and you're just as abusive to him - that doesn't make it OK. It means you're both abusive, or at best incompatible. And it isn't fair for a child to grow up with parents who yell names at each other regularly.

MASSIVE ZOMBIE!!!!!!