I think DP just left me

[Notsureaboutthisusername]

He's been distant for a while, not talking much, so tonight I decided to ask him if we were OK. He said he didn't know what I was taking about and went back to watching TV.

I started crying, he stayed staring at the TV. Not one bit of reassurance. I carried on crying because I could just tell things weren't right. He eventually said he didn't want to talk about it but is unsure what he wants. Then he left. No idea what to do.

That is awful! Do you know where he has gone? Is this type of behaviour usual?

Oh dear - no advice but couln't read and run. Where has he gone? Did he say anything as he went?

He's gone to his mum's. He has threatened to go when we've had "discussions" but not ever left before. I just have no idea what's going on in his head

Do you live together? Have kids? It's not a good sign, that's for sure. I would not try contacting him yet because you may well get voicemail anyway and that will be more frustrating. Leave him to do whatever he is doing. Can you get through tonight by watching favourite films or reading or something and then make a plan in the morning?

How long have you been together? Has he done this before? Is he contactable?

Definitely don't contact him if you know where he is then. It won't do any good right now anyway

We live together, been together 5 years and have one DC. I've not tried to contact him since he went. I don't know what to say really.

Sorry, have just seen he has not done it before. Agree you need to keep yourself busy if you think you don't sleep tonight. Things may be better in the morning.

You day he Has been distant recently-in what way? Do you have any reason to believe there is anyone else?

Fair play to you for not contacting him. You are a stronger woman than I am.

It's only because I'm too sad and I can't think what to say. I don't think there's another woman. He's just not really been talking very much, kind of zoning out, staring at his phone all day, not coming to bed with me. Just being a bit overly grumpy.

Does he work? I'm so sorry you're going through this OP...do you have someone you can call to be with you tomorrow?

Not really. I don't know what to do.

Is he perhaps stressed at work? There could be lots if other things overwhelming him. Perhaps he is depressed? I know others have said not to contact him but I would send him one text - even if its just to say night, and that you'll talk tomorrow. I hope you can have a peaceful night and get things resolved very soon

You don't have to do anything tonight. Can you sleep? Do you have any hot chocolate or something to help you nod off?

In your shoes, I would be planning on not calling him at all tomorrow. Let him come to you.

looking at his phone all day Im sorry but this would be a rd flag to me wihtout the distant demeanour and walking out.

I'm so sorry. I have been there.

I would let him be for now while you get your head round what has happened.

I'm sure there's no other women. I've been there too and it doesn't feel like that. It feels more like spineroo says, he is very stressed at work, and he is prone to depression. I think he's stopped eating properly too.

Has he been sleeping ok? Is anything else changed?

AFAIK he's been sleeping, although he gets up early and comes to bed late. He's just finished a big project at work which he loved. We're possibly thinking of moving house (which is getting me down)

How is your relationship with his Mum?

Good (i think)

Well the best thing you can do now, is to try to get some sleep...you've still got to get through tomorrow and you don't want tiredness to make it worse.

He could just be down as you say...maybe the end of the project and moving house possibly has brought him to question things generally.

OK, so possibly as your 'gut' is telling you (if I'm right to use that expression) it is something to do with him and not anything else.

Has he behaved like this when depressed before?

I know it is a cliche from that book but men chrateristlcally do retreat to there caves, this being his mums.

Maybe he has sunk down and cant articulate what is going on in his head - this is common during intial stages of an episode. I would let him be for now. In due course let him know you are still there for him.

I hope you managed to get some sleep OP. If it were me, I would resist all temptation to ring him today.

And I'm sorry, but I'm getting a bit angry at reading about all of these men who are having a hard time at work, wanting more from life or feeling fed up and who walk out and opt out of family life as if children are an optional extra you can just walk away from for a couple of days.

How are you this morning, OP?