Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Secrets we want to tell but can't

925 replies

LizzieBelle · 02/08/2014 18:35

There was a thread on here a few months ago which was full of confessions and secrets that we can't tell in real life...My secret is that I know the neighbour on one side of me is having a naughty affair with the neighbour on the other side of me. As soon and the husband goes to work and the kids go to school she's off with the single dad on the other side of me...

Has anyone else got a secret??

OP posts:
mylittlesecret2 · 13/08/2014 10:15

Getting back to the topic....

my 'secret' is that my uncle- who died 30 years ago- was a dirty old man and almost crossed the line with uncle-y affection.
It wasn't abuse as such- he was careful enough not to cross the line- but I felt very uncomfortable with him when alone. He used to drive me home when I'd babysat for my cousin, 10 years my junior, and I would dread the drive because there was always an 'atmosphere' and occasionally he'd put his hand on my knee when driving- and keep it there ( these were the late 60s and early 70s when skirts were like belts!)

He'd give me 'bear hugs' and sometimes put his hands up the back of my jumper 'tickling' me. I was 16 FFS.

He was a dirty old man who had at least 2 other women on the go as well as his wife, my poor aunt, I found out later from my parents.

But the problem is he was my mum's younger brother and she adored him. Even now she talks about him fondly and when I dare to mention his behaviour with his mistresses she just ignores the point.

I have never told her how he behaved towards me because she's now an old woman herself and I don't want to upset her, but I find it very hard to keep my mouth shut when she talks about the 'good old days' when he was alive.

CrackingTheWhip · 13/08/2014 11:03

My secret is that me and my DP are planning a wedding and we haven't told anyone yet.

We visited the registry office yesterday morning and we'll be booking it in the next few weeks if we can get the date we want.

WeAreAllStarDust · 13/08/2014 12:11

Well I suppose I better contribute, before I get a flaming.

My secret is that I am in touch with my biological father, and I am finding out that what my mum told me happened between them and what really happened are two totally different things. My mum remarried when I was about 5 and as far as I'm concerned my step dad has, and always will be, my dad. I have previously met my biological dad and to be honest I really wish I hadn't. I feel silly for dragging this all up, perhaps giving him hope, and I would be distraught if my 'dad' or brother knew what was happening. There are a lot of issues with my mum, and I just don't know where to start.

ebwy · 13/08/2014 12:50

How do I NC? I'm too out with this name!

georgeleon231 · 13/08/2014 13:08

Ooh great!!!! That so interesting to hear others secrets and share our secrets with others....
One of my friend(14 years)went to disc with the group of boys without their parent's permission, and had drunk. After that she went with a married man and had physical relation with him.

HumblePieMonster · 13/08/2014 13:15

House Stark
He could lose his job for that. Its against one of the first principles. Can't for the life of me remember what they are but they'll be on a government website. I don't think it says 'don't text your cock to parents' - it puts it in more formal language.
True.

HumblePieMonster · 13/08/2014 13:15

And that should be HouseStark My apologies.

Jackie0 · 13/08/2014 14:31

Onmydeathbed who on earth is the ex-newsreader?

Oneoffchange · 13/08/2014 14:41

I want to have an affair (actually name-changed for this).

I won't have one because it will destroy DH and our DD, but I've become obsessed with the unrealistic thoughts of passion and wanting to be with someone so badly that it hurts. I work from home on my own all day every day so luckily temptation is not even an option. A good thing considering...

DH and I have a 'relaxed' relationship (read boring, no conversation, no passion - although my choice, not really bothered about sex at all - nothing at all). I miss that feeling where someone looks at you for the first time and they feel like they've never seen anyone so wonderful... I didn't have that with DH but I'm really craving it. I want to go away and just kiss a total stranger who just can't keep his eyes off me. I don't want the sex part, just the passion and longing...

That's my secret and it'll die with me I'm sure Sad.

laregina · 13/08/2014 14:55

Ooh what a lovely juicy thread Grin

DH and I know that his brother has been cheating on his wife for the last seven years. We also know that his sister is cheating on her husband. Nobody knows we know. We have never told anybody because we don't have anything to do with any of them, due to a huge (unrelated) falling out with DH's whole family years ago.

They are all so smug and up each others' arses, and part of me itches to tell them what I know about them all - but DH says we are better than that and should just keep out of it. So I do. But it drives me nuts!

Layter · 13/08/2014 15:15

I know someone who I think is committing fraud. His family business sells a premium product but from quite a few things that he has said and from things that other people have mentioned I think that his product is the bog standard version.

Without compromising one of his employees I can't say anything. Also I don't know how it could be proved, but I am biding my time.

I sell the same sort of thing and it fucks me off royally that he is cheating.

aujordoui · 13/08/2014 15:18

My adult child secretly wants me dead and I know I'm just a nuisance/shame to them. If there was a simple pill I could take I would take it gladly.

HangingBasketCase · 13/08/2014 16:23

My cousins have an elder sister that they don't know about. The sister was born during their fathers first marriage before he met my Aunt, they don't even know that their dad was married previously. Everyone else in the family knows apart from them, I think it's horrible and they have a right to know, but it's not really our places to tell them.

The sister lives in our town, one day I was in the car with my mum and she pointed her out to me! She looks a LOT like my cousin, you'd think they could be sisters ... and that's because they are.

Itsfab · 13/08/2014 16:34

I feel really sorry for the children who don't know their dad isn't their biological dad and for the fathers too. When people cheat and children are born you could have a situation where half siblings date each other.

I don't have any secrets except I wish my friend would leave her abusive husband.

upduffedsecret · 13/08/2014 17:00

I dumped my ex 2 months ago but he's still here because he hasn't found a home yet. So my new relationship is a secret because we all live here ( we're technically lodging with new dp) and I'm now pregnant. Were thrilled but I'd rather ex leaves before he finds out. I'm 6 weeks tomorrow and haven't seen a midwife yet.

deste · 13/08/2014 17:13

A friends future DIL won over one million pounds on the lottery about three months ago.

Itsfab · 13/08/2014 17:31

That was quick, upduffedsecret!

I can confirm that kids in care are fine to abuse as they don't matter as much and there is no family to be bothered about them.

What was the Jill Dando reference? And please tell me you aren't saying Cliff Richard is a child abuser.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/08/2014 18:08

aujordoui that's such a sad post. Sad

Smilesandpiles · 13/08/2014 18:32

I have younger brothers and sisters.

They don't know I exist. I'm not going to tell them or get in contact, I dont want to be the one to tell them. I've never met my bio father and I still don't know what happened as I've heard several different stories now.

GarlicAugustus · 13/08/2014 20:04

Smilesandpiles, you're not HangingBasket's cousin are you?!

Nobody could possibly say that, Itsfab, as they'd be breaking a complex system of injunctions. Even if they wanted to say that. Which I'm sure nobody does Confused [you will be] If Jill Dando had been shot because she'd found something out about the thing nobody wanted to mention, nobody would mention that either!

onmydeathbed can't say any more about the newsreader for similar reasons, but asked me to tell you they have passed the info on to an investigation team they think can be trusted.

With that, I'm all cross again so am off to bump the paedo thread again. No wonder it's so fucking difficult to break the abuse system, when it's barely safe to say anything at all Angry

CarbeDiem · 13/08/2014 20:15

Its
google his name + Elm house, you'll also see what the reference to Jill Dando is too.
There is/was a big thread about all of the cover ups going on surrounding the historic child abuse cases, I think it's in the News section, someone mentioned where earlier in this thread.

aujordoui I hope you're ok. I don't know you nor your situation but having someone think that you are a nuisance/shame does not make it right that you should do something about it like hurt yourself. Other peoples feeling and thoughts are their own, you can't control them and often can't change them. Please be kind to yourself and seek help if you need it. Here? Samaritans?

CarbeDiem · 13/08/2014 20:20

Ah, X-posted with you Garlic. Totally agree with your last sentence :(

Itsfab · 13/08/2014 20:27

Garlic I am confused as do not understand which part of my post you are referring too.

Itsfab · 13/08/2014 20:30

That makes for horrific reading AngryShock.

HumblePieMonster · 13/08/2014 20:32

My adult child secretly wants me dead and I know I'm just a nuisance/shame to them. If there was a simple pill I could take I would take it gladly
You need help. Do you live with your child? I have one child only, also adult, and I know that when she is cross with me it feels like the world is ending. Fortunately for us both, we don't live together! Talk to us please, or at least reassure us that you have contacts who can support you in real life.