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Relationships

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Original poster

Strangest crush of my life... I need your opinion please!

82 replies

ConfusedThirtySomething · 02/08/2014 11:10

I think I've developed a crush on my dentist. I'm in my mid-thirties and he is much older, about 50 years old.
I never believed in such things but I'm changing my mind now. I've only seen him 3 times (professionally) but... Anyway, I need more dental work done and was planning to have another appointment when I'm back from my holidays in a few weeks. However, my dentist suggested that I should give him a call when I am back from holidays, instead of setting up my next appointment. All because when I call him, we could meet during his lunch break or when he is nearly done with his work. The visit would be only to discuss my further treatment. On the other hand, maybe he just wants me to feel comfortable with him as a professional because he knows about my dental nightmares. Am I reading too much into it? During my recent visit, he was very attentive and kind. Touching my arm, he apologised that I couldn't rest my "poor arms". I was never is such situation and it may sound terribly naive to you. When we are having a conversation, we look into each other eyes all the time.. It's kind of intense and makes me feel dizzy. Gosh, that's really pathetic :)
What's your opinion? I'm not a single person and I mentioned that during my first appointment (not on purpose). He might be in a relationship too... But I REALLY fancy him. As a dental phob, I managed to survive a deep filling without a single grin on my face. Only because I was looking at him all the time. I even wished that the treatment lasted longer! It's very weird but I had been looking forward to my appointment and can't wait for the next one. This is the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me.
What do you think about it? Help!

OP posts:

LabrysHolder · 02/08/2014 11:13

Get another dentist. Now.

Sounds like he is being very unprofessional and you're not in a position to date someone.

Seriously, don't call, don't go back.

mrsbrownsgirls · 02/08/2014 11:13

it's very common. people get crushes on their dentists all the time

sonjadog · 02/08/2014 11:15

It sounds like he is just trying to out you at ease.

But if you aren't single, then you should get another dentist anyway.

mrsbrownsgirls · 02/08/2014 11:15

either he is being unprofessional or you are reading too much into it. we can't tell from what you have said so far.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/08/2014 11:19

I wish he was my dentist. I'm too scared to go, despite needing a deep clean. He could distract me through a "deep clean", I'm wagering...

Original poster

ConfusedThirtySomething · 02/08/2014 11:39

Thanks for all your replies :)

I should probably add that I've been with my partner for 8 years. We're not married but I feel that our relationship is going nowhere. He's great, caring and loving but it's not the kind of love I am looking for. We're totally incompatible, no common interests, etc. He spends all his time playing computer games and I absolutely hate it. I feel like I am the person to make all the household arrangements, plan things, etc. I am more like a mother or a sister to him. He's quite handsome but I no longer find him desirable. We haven't had sex for years now, only some random cuddles. I've grown to think that I need a man, not a 33-year old boy.
Probably the situation with my dentist has made me more acutely aware of all of this.
Fortunately, we don't have children. Can't see him being a father. My imagination is rather limited here.

Sorry for the silly question, but why do you think that my dentist is "being very unprofessional"?

OP posts:

springydaffs · 02/08/2014 11:43

My dentist is like Michael buble and is so tufty and gorgeous i could have him right there. I also looked forward to seeing him and the 6 months dragged by, but a routine call to the surgery revealed he has left, I tried not to sound strangled when the receptionist informed me of this terrible news.

I also looked into his eyes when talking to him up close - how can you not, the mask is covering the rest. And I'm embarrassed to say that on one such occasion an electric pulse passed between us, I'm not joking, definitely not my imagination or wishful thinking, he seemed more shocked than me. But, then, men can be foolish about this stuff and can think they are sex gods, not that these things just happen between two people.

My mum also had a major crush on her dentist, as much as she tried to hide it. I think its all that close attention, touching (even if its not the best touching...) and being kindly when you're scared - its very nurturing. I'm not sure what you mean about the lunchtime phone call, sounds pretty ordinary to me, but you are married so best not go there. I'm single and my mum is in a relationship that starves her of all the good stuff, so we are both vulnerable to a bit of attention. Mind you, we all are IMO.

I now see a dentist who doesn't have the best chair side manner tbh. I wasn't seriously going to jump on the lovely dentist, it was just nice to have a bit of a crush that wasn't going to go anywhere.

springydaffs · 02/08/2014 11:46

X-post! So you are vulnerable to a bit of attention then...

sonjadog · 02/08/2014 11:49

Sounds like this crush is maybe what you need to push you to end your current relationship? Why not do that and then see how it goes with the dentist?

I have never found any dentist I have attractive. I just don't find the outfits attractive.

springydaffs · 02/08/2014 11:55

Oh my, I can't agree with you there about the outfits, Sonja. I once lusted after my quite boring son's cardiologist when I saw him in scrubs. Plus I love the man with a passion for sorting out my boy's heart, of course.

something2say · 02/08/2014 12:04

Hmm well you're clearly not in a real relationship, if you are not emotionally involved, if you know what I mean. There seems to be a vacancy in your heart. I'd end the relationship kindly and quickly and firmly, and yes perhaps go for lunch with the dentist but maybe see a different one when it comes to the actual work, so that you don't put him in professional jeopardy. You never know, he might be a lovely man who is lonely and looking for love....

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 02/08/2014 12:15

Your relationship sounds dead in the water, that'd explain the crush on the dentist.

I don't like the sound of your dentist though, if he wanted to ask you out he should do it and not manufacture excuses to see you. The very fact that he's doing this in an underhand way suggests that there's a reason he can't officially date you - he's most probably married.

That's if this is story is not a fantasy, it does read quite strangely.

rosepetalsoup · 02/08/2014 12:29

This is hilarious! I HATE my dentist, for inflicting pain on me, even though he's ok handsome (well in a kind of Joey from Friends way). For me your crush has more than a touch of the 50 shades about it!

Anyway I reckon you should certainly seduce him. It'll be a great bit of fun and a good catalyst to end the long-dead relationship. Get it out of your system, as it were, then look for someone a bit younger and less... dentisty.

springydaffs · 02/08/2014 13:14

Read strangely? It does not read strangely at all IMO! Extremely common I would've thought.

superstarheartbreaker · 02/08/2014 13:23

Both dentists in our practice are amazing... So fit! It's wierd as teeth are so unsexy. I guess the fact that they are clearly intelligent helps!

offside · 02/08/2014 13:59

Confused, you are clearly vulnerable because you're not happy in your relationship. You do realise that if you were both to pursue anything his career is at risk.

I suggest you sort out your relationship, stop excusing and rationalising your desire to have an affair with this man and put you and your DP out of both of your misery and move on.

Original poster

ConfusedThirtySomething · 02/08/2014 14:27

Thanks for your replies.
I am definitely not trying to rationalise or excuse my "desire to have an affair with this man". I might be misreading his intentions but that's how it felt to me when he asked me to call him. Maybe he just wanted to see my reaction to such suggestion and see if there's any spark of interest of my behalf. That's my guess. It might be just a game. Don't know.

Sorry, I know it's all a bit chaotic.

OP posts:

sonjadog · 02/08/2014 15:23

So what was your reaction?

Do you like him because you like a man in a dentist's outfit? If you saw him wearing a saggy tracksuit would you feel the same?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/08/2014 15:40

I don't see what he's doing that is unprofessional at all. My dentist is always looking deep into my eyes because I have a dangerously high pain threshold and that's how he tells. Nary a kiss or fondle between us.

Make the most of your crush; get whatever dental treatment you need done completed right now. If you're going to enjoy it so much the better.

NickiFury · 02/08/2014 15:43

Dump boyfriend.

Find out Denny's relationship status.

If he's single you're good to go

Original poster

ConfusedThirtySomething · 02/08/2014 15:53

sonjadog,

My mouth felt very numb after the filling, so I only nodded, thanked him and promised to give him a call when I am back. "Giving HIM a call" means calling the reception and asking him to the phone. That's kind of weird because you normally call the reception and they make an appointment for you. Or am I wrong?

And yes, he looks good in his uniform but he probably does in any other outfit.

OP posts:

wafflyversatile · 02/08/2014 16:01

If you are not happy in your relationship then end it, regardless of whether there is someone waiting in the wings or not. Then your current partner can find someone who does want to be with him and you are free to pursue whoever you want, however suitable or unsuitable.

sonjadog · 02/08/2014 16:28

I think "giving him a call" means calling reception. I'm not surely he means him personally.

Original poster

ConfusedThirtySomething · 02/08/2014 17:24

I am supposed to call the reception but ask to speak to him so he could check whether we could meet during his lunch break or when he's done for the day. Don't know. He might be just a super-kind dentist willing to sacrifice his lunch break/stay longer at work to talk about my embarrassing teeth. If so, I have the best dentist in the world. If not, I really don't know. Why didn't he suggest a regular appointment, with a dental assistant present in the room?

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/08/2014 18:14

If he meant 'call me' under anything other than professional reasons, he would have given you his mobile number, surely? Not trot out to reception to speak to you on the phone...

If he IS a good dentist, keep your crush to yourself unless you are absolutely certain that he wants to take it somewhere. You'll embarrass yourself and make things impossible for you at the surgery if you read things into it that aren't there.

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