More of a wwyd - strange husband situation

[clpsmum]

My DH works away from home mon-fri and just recently been working a lot of weekends too. For the past couple of months he never answers his phone but always calls me back saying he didn't hear it, was asleep, in shower etc. didn't think anything if it at first.

Then we went away for a week and while we were there he said he received a phonecall asking him to go back to work a day early. So we got back sat pm and he went away before I woke up on Sunday. Fine because we need the money but found it a bit strange they rang and asked him tbh.

Now he's turned up home with a black eye, broken nose and covered in cuts and bruises. He's given a story he saw a man punch a woman and got into a fight and this is how it happened. He doesn't know the people and although police were involved he's told them he doesn't want to press charges.

This happened on Thursday night. He didn't call me on Thursday or Friday to tell me about it just turned up home on Friday and told me about it.

Am I right thinking this is all a bit suspicious or is it my imagination working overtime? Genuinely looking for honest advice as I can over analyse things sometimes! Sorry for long post

What a cunt.

I'm sorry hun. What makes you think that's what it is? Xx

I'm sorry hun. What makes you think that's what it is? Xx

Urgh, hun, why did I say hun? So patronising

I am really sorry to hear that. Don't try to resolve it over the weekend. Tell him to go back to work next week and use the time and space to work out what you want. Also use that time to sort through practical stuff like copies of important paperwork, bank accounts etc. Sadly you also need an STI check.

Take care it must have been a real shock.

Stay strong op

My first thought was affair. Phoning you back when not busy with OW.

Emergency call was her H found out. Not calling you re beating gave a couple if days to get over shock and get his story straight.

It looks like you have now confirmed that.

Your head must be in a whirl. It is too soon to decide if you want to try again (if he confesses or wants to) unless you know you are out of there.

If he is back off to work and away for next week you can take the time to think.

If possible take a few days off work if you work. Don't be afraid to ask docs if you need a little help coping initially.

In the mean time get practical. Get to a solicitor and know your rights. Get it the CAB and know if you are entitled to any help. Copy any legal and financial documents. You may never use any of this but if you know where you stand it is one less thing to worry about.

Finally you need a trip to an STI clinic asap. Sorry.

Chaz was quicker and more succinct.

Look after yourself.

What an absolute twatbag. So sorry clpsmum.

I'm sorry to hear that-take some time to think about what YOU want. Do you want to come back from this or is that it for you? Think about your finances and your emotions as separately as you can.

Dont phone his work! They won't tell you anything and think you're unhinged. I agree it's suspicious but there are other ways to find out.

Ah, sorry, I see that you've made a discovery. Look after yourself and don't be rushed into accepting him back.

Oh crap!

Feel for you OP.

The injuries may have occurred in they way he said but if he's been off out with OW when they happened, maybe that's why he's been shifty about them.

Agree with wise words above - ensure he knows he has one chance to tell you the full truth, but also don't knee jerk.

He will be busying deleting all evidence and will admit to the absolute bare minimum based on what he thinks you already know. Let him talk, OP and when he stops just look at him in silence. Let him fill the silence.

Then tell him you will have some time to think and talk some more later. It will take time for it all to sink in. Keep posting for support.

Sorry this is happening x

Affair.

Husband caught him.

Battered him. Got to be. Sus or what?!?

Sorry op. :(

Either the husband found out and might have a history of violence so your DH as the OM extracted her from the situation..

Or her DH found them and went ballistic

Or, they were out together for a night, fight happened, police were involved, took her details as his "partner" and he doesn't want you to find out the scenario.

So sorry OP. He has had the opportunity to lead a completely double life here hasn't he?

Hi everyone. We're going to move this thread to Relationships shortly where we think the OP will get even more advice and support. Thanks to everyone who has already sent helpful posts.

I hope you're ok op

Are you able to stay apart for the rest of the weekend? He needs to find somewhere to go so u can gather your emotions without him being around. What a cunt.

Hope you are ok. So sorry to see it was what was feared.

I'd say that the OW went mad about you going away for a week, and so under pressure he came home early to pacify her. Injuries could be from her getting angry with him. Or alternatively from someone connected to her.