More of a wwyd - strange husband situation

[clpsmum]

My DH works away from home mon-fri and just recently been working a lot of weekends too. For the past couple of months he never answers his phone but always calls me back saying he didn't hear it, was asleep, in shower etc. didn't think anything if it at first.

Then we went away for a week and while we were there he said he received a phonecall asking him to go back to work a day early. So we got back sat pm and he went away before I woke up on Sunday. Fine because we need the money but found it a bit strange they rang and asked him tbh.

Now he's turned up home with a black eye, broken nose and covered in cuts and bruises. He's given a story he saw a man punch a woman and got into a fight and this is how it happened. He doesn't know the people and although police were involved he's told them he doesn't want to press charges.

This happened on Thursday night. He didn't call me on Thursday or Friday to tell me about it just turned up home on Friday and told me about it.

Am I right thinking this is all a bit suspicious or is it my imagination working overtime? Genuinely looking for honest advice as I can over analyse things sometimes! Sorry for long post

Ask- even

Is there a lot of extra money coming in for the overtime?

Have you got access to his payslips with all this extra money?

Do some furtling, on the QT - or just call him out and ask him to prove any of this as it sounds complete bollocks.

Agree he is having an affair and the husband just found out.

Sorry.

Do you see your husband's wage slips? Is he being paid for all these extra hours? How far away does he work? When he also works the weekend how long between you actually seeing him?

It doesn't look good and my thought was affair as well.

He is genuinely doing overtime because we do get the extra money. But the point in agreeing to the overtime is that he's still away from home so if he finishes at 2-3pm he's got all evening and night.

Crime number a good idea I'll ask for it.

I don't know how to play it really not sure what to do? Any ideas?

I'm sorry but from the working away during the week and then some weekends and then not answering your calls I would suspect an affair. And I suspect she doesn't know he's married hence coming home from holiday early spending more weekends away... She wants to know where he is too.

The bruises well maybe it's what he says but more likely she, her dad, her brother whatever did it when she's found out.

His weekends away may stop now but you need to do some snooping.

I'm sorry.

Op sorry you're going through this. It does sound highly suspicious with my thoughts being like many others of affair and being discovered.
Maybe you could get this moved to relationships as there are lots of people there with lots of great advice.
I agree with others that you need to find out more- not sure if doing it undercover or calling him on it is the best way to go.

'Dear husband - this looks like an affair to me so in order to quell my suspicions lets go through all your payslips and times at work over the last month, lets see the number of the person who called you back in last weekend and lets have the crime ref no and I'm sure all my worries will be put at rest'.

Is he a superhero perhaps?

Sounds like bullshit to me too!

It sounds suspicious to me. Being in a fight so serious that you have a broken nose - did he go to the hospital to have it looked at? - is something that you would normally call your partner/loved one about, if only for a bit of sympathy. Unless they are the sort of person who is always getting in fights, this would be a major dramatic incident in anyones life and they would normally want to talk about it, often at length. If it is downplayed, it looks as if he something to hide. I agree with others to ask for the incident number; say even if he isn't curious, about the outcome, you are.

Suspicious, for sure.

Has he joined a fight club?

Very strange. Does he gave extra money at the moment. Is he working undercover.

The extra hours could well be legitimate, but still be an affair. My friend was having an affair at work and doing all sorts of mad overtime so he could spend more time with the OW.

It's not looking good, OP.

Could he be gay? Cottaging?

Sorry OP this has chilled me.

I don't think it's an affair - that wouldn't fit with not answering the phone and then calling back.

Not answering the phone stinks of hiding. Combined with the violence...

Could he be involved with someone/something dangerous? Drugs? Gambling? Illegal activity?

I really don't want to worry you unnecessarily but this made my skin prickle. Hope I'm massively wrong.

Of course not answering the phone and then calling back fits with someone having an affair. Why on earth would you say it doesn't 'typos'?

clps - I would wait until he's home again then go through his phone. I'd put good money on him having an affair - sorry :( x

It does sound as though he has received a beating from a disgruntled husband or boyfriend. But talk to him, don't snoop as that isn't the right way to do things. Ask him to tell you what has been going on.

cafe

Just seems more like hiding to me. I've never had an affair so I might be naive but if I was trying to cover up where I was, I'd answer my phone straight away and start doing BBC sound effect noises in the background muttering about traffic etc.

He is with OW, phone starts ringing - its the wife. Ignores it or presses reject / silent as OW doesnt know about the wife. He makes an excuse - nipping to the loo, to ring wife back.

I think I might play it down, and then track his phone.

If you ask, he'll hardly tell you the truth.