More of a wwyd - strange husband situation

[clpsmum]

My DH works away from home mon-fri and just recently been working a lot of weekends too. For the past couple of months he never answers his phone but always calls me back saying he didn't hear it, was asleep, in shower etc. didn't think anything if it at first.

Then we went away for a week and while we were there he said he received a phonecall asking him to go back to work a day early. So we got back sat pm and he went away before I woke up on Sunday. Fine because we need the money but found it a bit strange they rang and asked him tbh.

Now he's turned up home with a black eye, broken nose and covered in cuts and bruises. He's given a story he saw a man punch a woman and got into a fight and this is how it happened. He doesn't know the people and although police were involved he's told them he doesn't want to press charges.

This happened on Thursday night. He didn't call me on Thursday or Friday to tell me about it just turned up home on Friday and told me about it.

Am I right thinking this is all a bit suspicious or is it my imagination working overtime? Genuinely looking for honest advice as I can over analyse things sometimes! Sorry for long post

Ah maybe. In a strange way I think an affair would be preferable to the scenarios I'm imagining, but then when it comes down to affair or dangerous (illegal) activity, neither are good!

I think the OP's right to listen to her instincts though - there's been odd behaviour for months and now violence. Something isn't right.

All very sus I would be thinking affair or dodgy dealings a la breaking bad!

You need to do some digging.

Typos - my first thought was something illegal too. Working odd hours, only returning calls, not taking them, the bruises...
Or as manatee says, he's a superhero. ;-)
I'd def do some digging, op. Hope it's entirely legitimate .

Sorry, looks like affair and got caught out. I suspect he won't tell you the truth so you will need to find some more evidence before you confront him.
been there, done that, got the Tshirt

Ok this is going to possibly sound ott, just an idea though. If he has an iphone put find friends on it. Then you can use your phone to see where he is.

Dh and I use it to make sure one of us makes it in time to pick up dc from nursery - If it doesn't locate dh then I know he's stuck on the tube and I need to hurry from work to make it in time to collect dc.

Sorry it does sound odd.

This all sounds ridiculously suspicious.

He's done a fantastic number on you for you to believe that you might be over thinking it.his behaviour stinks.

I don't see any point asking him as he's fairly obviously not being honest. In this scenario, where there is so much reason to distrust someone, I would quietly be making my own investigations before letting on my suspicions.

Whatever he is doing OP his behaviour is not normal and you are not being paranoid. Do you feel able to hold on and see if you can gather any more information? If he is behaving arrogantly it doesnt sound like you will get much from him armed with just a suspicion (however justified!)

My first thought was "OW's husband found them at it" too :(

Is his name Walter?

Gambling addiction. Owes money. Not paid. Beaten up.

Haha fishrabbit, I was going to write that!

Op, can you check online banking, etc?

Pretty certain now it's an affair. Just found messages on his phone. Confronted him and he denied it at first but he knows hes been caught. I'm walking dogs in pouring rain so il see what he's got to say when I get in

Hmmm...and how interesting that the lie about his face, should be something that paints him in a heroic and tragic light.

That's a bit galling isn't it?

Hopefully you get to the bottom of it

I'm sorry OP. You will get lots if support if you want it on the relationships board.

Sorry that's turned out to be the case OP.

What is his job? It'd be very unusual for any employer to call someone back early from holiday.

My reaction was it's something criminal but I see you think it's an affair. Either way yanbu to be suspicious.

Really sorry op, don't stay out in the rain too long.

So sorry this is happening to you.
He will tell you the bare minimum. Assume what you're hearing is the tip of the iceberg. He will try to shift blame to you or the OW. You may want to contact the bank before you get home and make sure you have funds somewhere that he can't access.

Relationships board is good here.

So sorry OP.

So sorry OP. I imagine he is sitting there trying to get his story straight and erasing what evidence he can right now. Prat.

Someone once advised on Relationships that a poster sit her husband down and tell him that he was having 1 chance and only 1 chance to tell her the whole truth. If, later, she found that he'd lied or left anything out, that would be the end of any possibility of continuing in the marriage.

Another piece of advice is to sling him out to give yourself time to get over the initial shock and decide what you want to do.