I've totally lost myself in this relationship, I'm overworked, underappreciated, miserable, under respected, taken for granted. We've out

[BotoxBitch]

We've our wedding booked in 8 months :(

Together 8 yrs, 2DC.

2 houses, one in my name (which is our home) one in his which is rented. He's older than me and put a lot more financially than I did.

How do I do this? He's telling me to pack up and fuck off of that's what I want but I can't obv with DC. He said he won't go anywhere.

Breaking up because he's just a shit. I run the whole ship without any assistance and I've hit rock bottom. He's walks through the house and doesn't acknowledge me, I've just been away for my first trip to London back yesterday not a question to see if I enjoyed it, if I was ok. Just nothing he has zero interest. I've no self esteem left. The only times I laugh are with my kids and when he's not there.

How do I go?? He's stubborn and horrible. Being rational I doubt is an option

So you live in the one that's in your name only? And you're not married?
I wouldn't be fucking off anywhere...

You are not married, the house you live in is in your name. He has no right to stay if you tell him to leave.

If he refuses or turns nasty, call the police and they will make him leave.

Don't leave your home! Go and see a solicitor asap

So the house you are currently in is in your name and you are not married?

Chuck him out, change the locks. It's your house. He has no claim. He has a house to live in. Yes he will have to give proper notice to tenants etc. but that is not your problem. He can stay with a mate or family for the time being.

Under no circumstances be driven out of your own home

start by cancelling the wedding

Yes we live in the one i own.

He's not a nice man, really do think he will make this as difficult as possible.

He's finishing line tonight was (After he'd stormed to bedroom) Ill MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL. He screamed this along with other stuff full pelt at top of stairs whilst DC in bed.

Thanks everyone.

Can't believe it's me on this thread. So police will make him leave even of it's his home/kids. He's not being violent but I feel threatened

If he makes you feel bad enough about yourself you won't break up with him. This screaming about making your life hell is just him trying to scare you in to staying with him.
He's trying to make you think it's up to him what happens that you don't have a say if he leaves or stays. But he knows full well that it's not his choice it's yours.
You do not have to live like this, if you want him out there's nothing he can do about it.

Botox, yes it's your house you are us married and you feel threatened. I suggest you call the non emergency line and explain that you have asked him to leave and he has refused.

He says he will make your life hell. I had one of these as an ex. I really really recommend you kick him out and stand really firm. You will be blamed for the break up, you will be called a bad mum. Selfish. Uncaring. Etc etc. yawn and ignore. In fact listen out for these comments and make a mental check list. Standing firm now may save you years of twatish behaviour in the future.

Police, remove, change locks, in fact take the key off him. Where he lives is not your problem.

Meant not not us!

Sounds like he already is making you're life hell. When he goes to work next bin bag him change the locks, take his stuff to his parents tell them he isn't much of a man and when it's time for him to return arrange for you're brother or dad or mum to be there (to give you strenght/be on your side). Also write him a letter and leave it with his things at his parents house.make sure he can't empty any joint bank accounts.

Well this is just what l did when l lived with a waste of space ex year's ago anyway (we

Sorry....

We had no children though.

Hope you work, something out.

You know you are worth more than this.

Goodluck

I'm rather surprised that he contributed most of the purchase cost of the house, but effectively 'gave' it to you - have you got 2 mortgages, one for each house?
I think legal advice would be the first step - if he demonstrably put the majority of the house-buying money in, and you're not married, I suspect it won't be black and white 'my name on deeds = my house' - but while it's being sorted out, that's where you stay, because you are DCs primary carer and that is their home.
Maybe he's yelling because he's terrified that the shit is about to hit the fan ...

he contributed most of the purchase cost of the house, but effectively 'gave' it to you

Walkacrossthesand Is it me? where did you get this information as it isn't in the thread?

2 houses, one in my name (which is our home) one in his which is rented. He's older than me and put a lot more financially than I did.

This^ Mex?

Not completely clear really. But she does say 'in my name' rather than 'bought by me' and she also says that he 'put more in financially'

If it's in your name, change the locks when he's out and then notify him you've done so, before he comes back.

BotoxBitchtbh, you're probably in a better financial position to ltb than anyone else I've ever read about on here.

Be strong. Be prepared for him to fluctuate between being a nasty bastard and being remorseful and promising to change..he won't change and you need out.

Do not marry him. I'd cancel the wedding asap, in case he manages to sway you into still going through with it.

If he marries you then he can take your house and your money have the upper hand and then he'll divorce you so cancel the wedding your in a better position than most women are so don't go anywhere just change the locks and leave his stuff outside

I would get legal advice and then change locks and dump his stuff outside when he is out/at work. I did this with my ex. I rang him to tell him what I had done and that I had already phoned the police as there would be trouble and I had a pre-given incident number and a number to call if I wanted instant help from them. I didn't, it was lies but he believed me and it got the job done! He eventually came and got his stuff and he disappeared or ever from my life. Which was one of the best days of my life! He didn't carry out any of his threats he was full of hot air only.

I would agree with the suggestion to get specific legal, financial and practical advice. CAB, a solicitor and, for the practical advice, Womens Aid possibly. It sounds like what you should do for the best hinges on the way the ownership of your main home is framed. In the meantime, consistently tell him to leave, and withdraw any and all domestic tasks that you've been doing for him.

Sorry let me explain our position.

P is 10 yrs my senior. When I met him he owned a house. We lived there for about 5 years then when we decided to start a family we needed a bugger house. He remortgaged that house and took all equity out. That house is now rented out to a tenant.

With that equity we bought a bigger house that needed renovation. So with the equity from old house it paid for deposit and reno.

It's in my name as that enabled the financial advisor to get the best deal on the mortgage "first time buyer rate" or something.

You definitely need legal advice. Even the way hoise two was bought is pretty dodgy.

I'm not a legal or financial expert but, if the deeds & mortgage were put in your name in order to fraudulently take advantage of a preferential deal, I sincerely hope that it comes back to bite him. If the mortgage is in your name you are liable for the payments, of course.

Give the tenants notice in the other house so he can live there.?

It seems extremely unlikely that someone of his disposition would 'do you the favour' of buying a house with his money in your name, esp unmarried. There's definitely a catch here. Get some legal advice of your own.

Cancel the wedding and let people know you've separated but he's refusing to move out.