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Original poster

Am I in the wrong or is he when it comes to blow jobs?

162 replies

topofthetree · 20/07/2014 05:28

I have tried many times to give him a blow job, but it just never happenes i get so discussed with the thought that i almost throw up. I have no idea why its to the point that i hate even thinking about giving him one. I feel really bad because he would rather have those then sex it seems like. He really gets upset when we come to this topic. our fights get completely out of preportion and i feel like he doesn't even care how i feel. Am I in the wrong or is he

OP posts:
Scarletohello · 20/07/2014 22:15

It's just a point of view. Calm down folks! :)

And yes Neil that is what I meant.

( first time I've ever agreed with a man on MN..)

davrostheholy · 20/07/2014 22:15

First of all: OP. She should not give in to blackmail, which is what her partner is doing. Emotional blackmail - and childish at that.

Secondly - I agree with Neil James - there are women out there that just don't like it done to them - there are blokes I know who cannot come from oral sex either (I find it difficult). My wife hates it being done to her - and always has. She's pretty experienced and not what you would call shy but she tells me she never ever enjoyed it. I am on my second marriage and had a few lovers in the past and love to give it. Previous partners loved it so I guess I am not "hopeless" at it. Still, the wife doesn't like it done to her and never has. I accept it and it's not on the agenda any more.

neiljames77 · 20/07/2014 22:22

I meant the deed itself AF. If 2 people get a kick out of it, no problem.
Obviously any kind of manipulation is wrong, whoever is doing it.

ChanelNo19 · 20/07/2014 22:26

oh god at licking somebody's arsehole. fgs.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 22:27

Yes, neil, that is what I said if you read my posts properly

GirlWithTheLionHeart · 20/07/2014 22:29

Shudder at licking a mans hairy arsehole, no thanks!

Jeez Louise.

neiljames77 · 20/07/2014 22:32

But you didn't read mine properly, AF!! Smile

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 22:44

It doesn't matter whether I did or didn't, neil, since I wasn't picking yours up in the first instance.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 22:45

err, hellooo, women have hairy arseholes too Smile

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 20/07/2014 22:49

next time you want to "eat someone all up" get the fuck down to Gregg's

Wtf do they sell in your local Greggs, AF?!

Grin
Anniegetyourgun · 20/07/2014 22:49

What's all this with people who think it is weird and horrible not to enjoy oral sex? It seems to be pretty popular at the moment, to be fair, but the idea that someone must be damaged or perverted to dislike it is about as daft as... well, as the idea that someone must be damaged or perverted to like it. I wouldn't be surprised if in a generation it became unfashionable and the majority would be going "You put it where? Ewww!" when some blushing OP would admit to actually enjoying it (while there'd be a huge number of lurkers who enjoyed it too but didn't feel able to say so). And then swing back again the generation after. But the actual number who do it (or anal, or any other variations on the theme) is likely to be broadly the same. And it won't be everybody.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 22:52

Pobble Grin

it's just a turn of phrase. I think I just coined a new one...

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 22:53

Indeed Annie. The "wtf is wrong with you to not enjoy X, Y, or Z" are a coercion in and of themselves, aren't they ?

Anniegetyourgun · 20/07/2014 22:59

Of course they are, AF. I'm inexorably reminded of the horrid little children in my primary school going "you're MAD" if you liked something they didn't (eg the skin on rice pudding) or didn't like something they did (eg a particular pop group). I used to assume they'd grow up and learn less blinkered attitudes, but maybe a lot of them didn't...

Anyway, this thread has been enlightening; I have now discovered why arsehole waxing has apparently become a "thing". Ignorance is sometimes bliss.

ChanelNo19 · 20/07/2014 23:03

and bleaching too apparently.

SOme people try very hard to be appealing.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 23:08

I wonder how long it is until people start displaying their bleached and waxed arseholes in public as a sign of sexual attractiveness/availability, like monkeys do < shudder >

I'll have a glazed do-nut please, thank you very much

lavenderhoney · 20/07/2014 23:32

There are special footstools in Italian medieval history ( any probably still used today) that people used to kneel up on to allow their partner to er, lick them. People often used communal loos at balls as well.

Waxing as we know it today, wasn't prevalent then, but honey was often used to remove unwanted hair, using banana paper or bandages. Sandpaper too, and pumice stones.

But, op, if he wants a bj and you don't want to, and he shouts at you and you fight, its time to leave. I wouldn't be doing that to anyone who shouted at me and insisted.

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 23:35

Every day's a school day Smile

Anniegetyourgun · 20/07/2014 23:48

After that post I shall never look on glazed do-nuts quite the same way again.

I sense a book opportunity: "50 things to do with a sausage roll when you're bored (and not hungry)"

AnyFucker · 20/07/2014 23:56
Grin
lavenderhoney · 21/07/2014 00:07

Oh , yes, bleaching of hairless bottoms is very popular. A rather startled friend of mine told me so after his move to LA.

He's really fussy now, after years of dating - whereas before, he would have just been ecstatic they dropped their pants and not noticed if they were sporting what resembled a Scottie dog between their thighs - Now he calls and moans about personal grooming:)

I tell him not to be a twat:)

rainbowsmiles · 21/07/2014 00:09

What I don't get is how you can be in the middle of the intimate all consuming sex and think "ewww" about your partners body or any part of it. I can see it when it's like a porno idea of sex, you know -suck it bitch etc - the sex by numbers type sex? But when your in that zone, when the mind body connection happens, when your bodies almost become one, well the idea that I would be considering his penis as a "ewwww" in the middle of that is just something I can't understand.

and I wonder whether this is what people mean when they say if you don't like it it might be the match isn't right. Is it the absence of this truly intimate abandoning of yourself to the other which allows you to consider the penis as a "ewwww"?

AnyFucker · 21/07/2014 00:13

just because you "don't get it" doesn't make it wrong

there may be very good reasons why an individual is ok with some sexual acts and not others

damaging childhood experiences, past abuse for example

every person has a right to decide what they are comfortable with, and what they are not...it doesn't have to be "understandable" to randommers on the internet

lavenderhoney · 21/07/2014 00:15

Rainbows, I suspect the op isn't in the zone to start with.

She might be with someone else though.

ChanelNo19 · 21/07/2014 00:16

lavenderhoney, does he wax and bleach off all his own pubic hair.