Am I in the wrong or is he when it comes to blow jobs?

[topofthetree]

I have tried many times to give him a blow job, but it just never happenes i get so discussed with the thought that i almost throw up. I have no idea why its to the point that i hate even thinking about giving him one. I feel really bad because he would rather have those then sex it seems like. He really gets upset when we come to this topic. our fights get completely out of preportion and i feel like he doesn't even care how i feel. Am I in the wrong or is he

I was going to say, "let's call it three then" but I can't say I've had a sex life with the pope.

"The majority of people male and female enjoy oral sex, I don't see that there's anything wrong in acknowledging that."

There's a big difference between acknowledging people enjoy oral sex and your previous statement:

"I doubt there's a man alive that would be happy with a sex life without blow jobs."

Because that is fucking ridiculous.

We had a thread about this the other day and those of us who said we had a dp/dh who didn't like oral were a disbelieved minority. Personally I wonder if the majority of women really like giving BJs or just feel that they should, but I know that's because I don't like doing it myself and I know that there is a strong expectation on women to give oral (much higher I suspect than that on men to do the same).

It's interesting, I hear that everyone loves anal sex, and I don't believe there's a man alive who would accept a sex life which didn't include (giving, not receiving obv) anal sex. Of course, I love taking it cos I'm so cool and what I enjoy is what everyone else should enjoy.

2 ticks in the box for everything in a marriage.

If both partners don't agree then it doesn't happen.

DH and I have a great sex life but there's things he'd like to try that I don't. Likewise there's things I like to try that he doesn't.

Instead of concentrating on the differences, we have fun exploring the common ground. Neither of us would ever pressure the other to do something they aren't comfortable with because, to us, sex isn't about getting pleasure, it's about giving pleasure. With both focused on that we are considerate lovers focused on our partner. I guess that's why it's so good.

It's this dipshit attitude - a man's entitled to a blow job. A sex life is incomplete without it. Oh go on, let him have a bit of sucking. Let him come in your mouth. Swallow it - nice girls don't spit.

When was the last time somebody banged on about how there 'isn't a woman alive who doesn't like receiving oral sex', how a man is 'less sexual' if he doesn't like doing it?

My dh neither likes giving or receiving oral sex. I, on the other hand, used to love it. I never forced him (and obviously nothing less sexy that someone who finds it disgusting) but to be honest I find our sex life poor and perhaps we should have gone our separate ways.

How many of you are doing deep throat? I hope you're doing deep throat as well, because, you know, there isn't a man alive who doesn't like deep throat.

Vivacia

You cant compare a sex life that only includes PIV sex to a sex life that just doesn't include anal.

I doubt any one thinks they are being 'cool' by giving their partners a BJ.

I fantasise about getting it all the time, and to be honest part of me does think a man who dislikes giving it is less into women and sex in general.

Perhaps we should just accept that everyone likes different things. There isn't or shouldn't be a blueprint for how we pleasure each other. I dare say there are people who like standing in bowls of cold custard, slapping each others arses with wet kippers but it doesn't mean we should all do it.

I think you may have missed the point, lass

Are you testing the waters there, neil?

What is the point?

You cant compare a sex life that only includes PIV sex to a sex life that just doesn't include anal

I didn't.

[Hijack: I've only had one partner who really adored bjs - a couple who liked them a lot, and the others could take it or leave it including dh. As far as I remember, they were all alive.

if you think oral sex is essential for a sex life to exist, I'd suggest you get out more; and also make sure you have an HPV vaccination or your partner could be looking at head and neck cancer due to your sexual preferences.]

OP: you don't have to do this. Some time when things are calm, sit him down and explain that you are not going to do this and if he pressures you again your relationship is over.

Sorry but what point were you trying to make with this then?
It's interesting, I hear that everyone loves anal sex, and I don't believe there's a man alive who would accept a sex life which didn't include (giving, not receiving obv) anal sex.

Thats a direct response to someone else on the thread saying no man is happy without blow jobs and your response is no man can be happy without anal.

I get that it was suppose to be sarcastic or witty or whatever you were going for, but you cant even compare the two sarcastically as they are leagues apart.

In your opinion, which is precisely my point. You can't make sweeping judgements about things which are so varied and personal.

EveMarieSaint - It's not an easy subject to broach...........it's on my Match.com profile...........still no takers...............perhaps I'm using the wrong kind of custard.

Fair enough. I don't agree with the statement no man alive would be happy without bjs but I would say the majority would prefer them to be included in their sex life. And if you are prepared to receive oral you should be prepared to give it.

As a bisexual female I have never had a partner who did not enjoy to give or receive oral. As a male OR female, if your partner does not enjoy to receive oral, then you are doing something wrong in my belief. A sex life that only includes PIV would be a incredibly boring and unsatisfying one for me. Oral sex and everything that comes with it can bring a beautiful connection/feeling.

But as is obvious here everyone has their own preferences, you just have to find someone with similar preferences to your own otherwise it will lead to dissatisfaction which may encroach into other areas of your relationship.

Apologies to OP for thread hijack

Everything Lweji said.

I also agree that it signifies sexual incompatibility but that's different from someone trying to coerce their partner into sexually satisfying them.

I would immediately write him off OP. If he could honestly still be turned on whilst you give him a blowjob and he knows you don't want to then he is disgusting and he doesn't care about you one bit. Not just sexually but he doesn't care about you at all, in any sense. There's just no way he could. Yet he still keeps trying to make you do it that's all you need to know about this man.

lasslancashire - Some women don't like having it done to them.

Well, if there isn't a man alive who would be happy without giving anal, there are a lot of men who are either unhappy or getting it away from home.

But as is obvious here everyone has their own preferences,

But that doesn't appear to stop you making sweeping, offensive statements about what everyone else likes (or should like) based on your personal preferences.

neil
For me I personally believe if your partner does not enjoy to receive it either means a) they have some self confidence issues with embarrassment or their body b) not comfortable with their partner or c)your doing it wrong.

It is usually C.

Of course there are some that just dislike it for no apparent or explained reason, but I would think they are in a small minority.