DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

Morning 70hours well done! I've just been re-reading some of the journal I wrote in the week after I stopped, it helped motivate me to avoid picking up 'a cheeky glass' bottle

I just read this 'learn from your mistakes and turn them into a positive. Do not keep repeating them expecting the outcome to be different'
And 'alcohol is not a "treat". You do not "deserve" it. You deserve so much better'

3 days is 3 days of achievement and strength well done!

70 It was good. Have seen them all and this one was the best (I think) - more true to the book and more detailed.
Sydney Yes we stopped within 6 days of each other (him first). I agree with the women and wine thing and it's insidiousness

Thanks Sydney x
Lucy - I think I might go and see that film today x

Hello sydney and welcome to the thread. Well done on your 7 months. :)

I went out for dinner with a friend recently who berated me about not drinking too. "I mean, it's not like it's FOREVER...... is it?" he asked nervously. What is so threatening to other people about that concept? In his case he is a very moderate drinker, so it's not that he's reflecting his feelings about his own drinking. I think people fear that they'll never have 'proper' fun with us again.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend.

Yep some people really do feel threatened for some reason - maybe they're scared d that you will change and become a dull boring person. Not realising that drunkenness is really the most boring state you can be in!
paradoxically, despite having lived theouhnapme of my most awful states, my mother is almost disappointed that I haven't weakened. She keeps saying 'I bet you have had a drink, you can't stop' but, then, she is a compete bloody nutter....

eh? 'through some of my' not that other weird word....

Walking away is something I struggle with too also , inherited my mother's quick temper and shouty nature. Unfortunately haven't noticed any financial benefits at all but know that's because Christmas is approaching. Ex, yet again, isn't taking ds so as per it's up to me to buy all the presents while he saunters in with one or two on the day. Wasn't so bad in previous years but now he's getting older, the stuff gets more expensive and looks like sod all That's my moan for today anyway

Hi and welcome Sydney

Ive found one of my friendships has really changed since we no longer booze together. Almost a distance between us that never used to be there. Him and I used to chat away about anything but now it feels sometimes like we have nothing really to talk about. I think perhaps I have become that dull boring person

Or maybe you've grown up broken? I know ten years ago I would have looked at the me today and thought she was very boring indeed. But I wasn't exactly happy back then... just papering over the cracks.

Hi All and thanks for the welcomes.

I've been umming and ahhhing about posting for so long but I'm so glad I did. I think you're right, it is more than just the fact that people feel threatened by sobriety. I'm definitely less chatty on nights out but to be honest I was spouting utter bollocks by the end of most evenings out so I'm surprised if they miss that! I'm wondering if it might also be about fear of change and for some, worries about ageing. You know, 'we can still let our hair down if we want to' sort of thing.

70hours......can I buddy up with you? A day behind you, and feeling ok. Know next week will be difficult, as shifts allow for evening drinks, bit determined to stay dry!!

Thank you to eggshells and Biggles - I missed the comment earlier on my guest post and you two stepped in to say/ask the questions I would have said too. The support was much appreciated Another interesting comment has been left recently which I've responded to but do feel free to chime in too.

Rachel would love to buddy up with you - hopefully we can spur each other on - most difficult day for me is Saturday so glad I'm sober tonight x

Not sure Teapot. I cant blame alcohol solely as yes my circumstances have changed rather a lot through the years and Im not the carefree thing I used to be.

Yes I think booze makes you more likely to natter away, probably overshare in my case! Amount of times Ive woken up the next day with a groan thinking oh god, did I really tell them that?

Been thinking a lot about whether or not to go back to AA. I dont know, I feel like a bit of a fraud compared to some and by all intents and purposes I keep seeing an 'alcoholic' defined as someone who is physically addicted. How exactly can you tell the difference between physical/psychological or between alcohol abuse/dependence as symptoms seem to meld into one another? Do they care about that?

Off to eat a massive bar of galaxy, drink some herbal tea and watch Cloud Atlas. Know lots of people hate the book but I love it. Have a good night all.

I'm on cups of tea, will be heading off for a bath soon, then bed. Another day down.
I'm sleeping well, but v strange dreams!
Work will mean I won't drink tomorrow, but next week will be a danger, days off, need to find ways to keep busy!!

Hi Rachael

Try not to focus on worrying about whether you will be able to resist in the future. It's better to focus on the present day. And how well you've already done, of course! Do make some lovely alcohol free plans though, I find putting aside the money I would have spent on booze is nice then paying big satisfying chunks off mortgage or adding to next year's holiday pot.

Plan, prepare - but don't project. You're not drinking today. And that's great. If cravings come they will pass.

Broken I haven't been to AA (yet).
Too scared to I think, this is a very small place and I'm fine with people knowing I don't drink but I'm not happy about being publicly labelled. There'd be no anonymous about it round here! I do read the website a lot though and I've read a lot of the book - do you ever do that? I'm pretty sure that the whole psychological v physical argument is far from resolved, even within long term AA folk.

So. I've just come back from my dd's primary school pta quiz. I was pretty much the only one not drinking and it all got a bit too much towards the end - not for me in the sense that I wished I was drinking but just all the braying m/c parents and their vin et Fromages (not our table, we had crisps and popcorn )

It was really very good fun though and although we didn't win, it is another 'social situation' tricked off.

I just noticed how loooooong it takes people whom have been drinking steadily to talk, to say a few sentences, I wanted to hurry them up and shout ' shut up! you're not funny!!!' I worry I'm beginning to tut and judge a bit. Don't want to be like that

Anyway, so much reflecting going on in my head lately. Scary.

70 Thank you to you too!
broken I did a Skype chat with Veronica Valli where we discussed physical vs psychological dependence and you can find it on my blog under interviews. I struggled with it too and chatting to V about it really helped.
Sydney love that saying! 'Plan, prepare - but don't project' that's a keeper! I read the Big Book but am not a member of the fellowship.
Biggles Good on you - I'd have given that a very wide berth!!
DH's bday today so night off and going to see Mr Turner at our local city :)

Oh thanks Lucy I'll check that out.

Biggles I avoid pta stuff like the plague.

Syndney Im in the same situation. Live in a small town and a close knit area. Think school a couple of minutes away, recognise most peoples faces or know them and their kids. We often say you'd get away with nothing round here. My local AA is only 5minutes walk away but there's no way in hell Im going to that, I travel to the next city over.

Good morning - I have been up for hours actually a going out now Christmas shopping with my mum - great to be sober x - Last time we went I was hungover and it wasn't a pleasant experience - this should be better x

No problems Lucy - loved the blog x. - saw the film late yesterday afternoon with my DD. We enjoyed it x

I don't know what's got into me! with the first two I avoided school functions totally, but somehow I've got myself really involved this time! Mind you, my school mum friends are as scathing as me about the actual alpha mummies. we do it for a laugh most of the time

Hi all. I have just come from the featured blog. I've known for a while I had a problem, but reached a new low this week when I drank a bottle of wine whilst DH was working late, and then hid the bottle.

I don't know how to stop.

Hi elfina and welcome. I don't have a magic answer for you I'm afraid. You obviously want to stop though, so how about just saying you won't have a drink today? It may help having a good read of the threads (at the very least it may keep you occupied ) My story is pretty much the same as most people on her. Drank too much for too long hurting too many people too often.

I've been sober for nearly 13 months now and am genuinely a different person. No more vile tempers (the odd rant at the children but I think that's allowed ), I wake up feeling OK, no more sinking horrible shaky guilt feelings ('what the hell did I do last night?') sleep brilliantly mostly.

Of course it's hard at times - you want to shout 'it's NOT FAIR' and hate those irritating 'ooh just one for me thanks' smugarses, but hey, we can't have just one and that's the way it is.

Hope you hang around.

I've been up since ruddy half six with the stupid fat cat from hell whining and sitting on my head as his food was not of an acceptable standard. It's like having a newborn all over again! stupid git is now fast asleep. I'm going to poke him in a minute. Dh, dd and D's put shopping so I'm doing very little

Happy Sunday everyone.

Hi from me too Elfina and glad you've found us :) Can't add much to what Biggles has said. No magic bullet apart from not picking up a drink today. It does get easier with time though and 14 months in I wouldn't go back - it's just not worth it for one drink! Cat alarm is my wake up call too!

Hi and welcome Elfina. I'm loathe to give advice as I'm not a health professional. Would reading over the thread help? Really good to have you here though First scary step is admitting you have a problem, the rest will follow.

I'd say all of us problem drinkers were guilty of hiding our drinking to some extent. I have no partner to hide it from but I hid it from the recycling men (and the neighbours might see) so wouldnt put it all in my recycling box, some went in the bin. One bottle at a time in each bag mind as I couldnt have them clinking and exposing me. Far too much thought went into that Or I would go for a drink and not let on to people that on the way home I was buying bottles of wine to continue drinking.

Checked out the interview, thanks for that Lucy, cleared up a few things in my head. I have actually been with someone who had a fit after withdrawal, had to ring an ambulance as I had no clue she was drinking that much and didnt know what was going on. Scared the life out of me and it's the one thing I would panic about after drinking myself.

Found it interesting about how when you're psychogically addicted you think 'Ill need this much'. Was a little bit upset about something last night and I'd be lying if I didn't say that getting wine didn't flit through my mind. Not one bottle but two naturally came to me.