DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

.

hello all Didn't get a thread notifications again and as have been busy haven't popped my head in the door for a few days. Welcome to oneofus :) Not much to report here, sober and less lurk-y than I was last week. I put it down to the full moon
Off to catch up ....

Good morning!

Is it normal to have headaches as a withdrawal symptom? (I was drinking at least half a bottle of wine a day, which I consider a lot...) I'm feeling fine apart from that, and a little craving for savoury food! Not craving sugar, but salty food! (I've been drinking Bovril and eating Marmite, so you can have an idea...)

Teapot love the idea of "playing the tape to the end"! It will be useful :)

Alsoflamingo I READ yesterday! :) In fact, I fell asleep when I was putting the DC to sleep, then woke up, ate something and then read for about one hour. Shuffling my night routine makes it easier to avoid the wine - but next time I will just have some peppermint tea. It feels like a "special drink", so it's a good alternative.

I'm still enjoying the feeling of having my brain to myself, instead of feeling dizzy, forgetful, or anything like that. It's not that bad, you know? ;)

brokeneggshells I'm planning on telling my friends that I have stopped, when the occasion arises. Most of my friends have seen me drunk (as I said, I never glossed over the fact that I have a difficult relationship with alcohol). So I think they will just agree it's a good idea. Luckily, I think I'm (I mean WAS) the heavier drinker in my circle of friends, which will make it easier. They rarely get drunk - I was always the one trying to convince everyone to drink more (oh the shame!).

Did your DP understand the bit about the "off" button? I think you're doing it in a great way: telling him as if it's not a big deal, but at the same time volunteering very important info. You have no "off" button, so you don't drink at all. Simples! :) (I know, it's not that simple, but you get it).

Off to play ball with DS2 and then eat some toast and cheese and marmite! And

Apologies oneofthem I called you oneofus by mistake - although it feels like a somewhat Freudian slip
As you are detoxing from alcohol it can feel a lot like a hangover, including headaches :)

Hello all, still here . just a bit fed up. Silly problems but feeling down. Will be back later x

Biggles must be something about the weather - me too to the feeling down. We need to re-plan a rendezvous soon and wallow in tea and cake :)

Oops apologies I've also been calling you oneofus said in a creepy, Halloween voice in my head

I think he does understand oneofthem as I've explained before that's why I put my drug taking youth behind me as I had no off switch with them. He was a bit of a tearaway too in his younger years so he gets that. I'm going to be brave and talk to him on Saturday night. We have known each other from way back as kids so I trust him to keep my secret until I'm ready to tell others, even if decides he doesn't want the relationship to go any further. Best to put the cards on the table before either of us get too emotionally involved, meet each others kids and family etc. I've had a lot of headaches the past week or two and they aren't something I suffer from a lot, appear to have gone now thank goodness. So unfair to feel like you have a hangover when you haven't been drinking isn't it?

Hope your problems quickly resolve themselves Biggles

Boke. Lying in bed and can hear something scratching and moving around in my attic. Looks like I've got the winter mouse/rat back again. Can see me not sleeping much tonight now.

Hello all. How is everyone? Hope Biggies and Lucy feeling slightly jollier. This nice weather should be cheering you up at least (gallows humour - entire outfit including handbag currently drying out in laundry room after biblical rain on school run…..).

Biggies wonder how things are going with your DS. My DS is younger than yours, but has been suffering from major anxiety and panic attacks of late so I feel for you. I find I use so much energy presenting a strong, capable, 'my shoulders are broad enough for you to share all your problems' front that the minute I am alone with a kind adult I tend to get quite emotional.

Broken - rather you than me with roof scratching. Am phobic about sodding rodents. Wonder what you will make of your AA meeting tomorrow. Will be interested to hear (as a fellow atheist). I think the meetings can be so different. Wonder if you live somewhere with lots of choice/different ones? It took me a few weeks to find my 'tribe' and am now v. happy, but was definitely put off by a couple of meetings.

Good morning!

Oneofus is a much better NN. I think I'll change it later :)

I'm still here. Went to a pub yesterday with DH. Felt a bit "meh" because I ordered tonic water while everyone was drinking beer and wine. But then I drank the tonic water and all was fine. DH had one pint - normally I would have pushed for a second pint, and would have worried about it, and we would've spent longer there, and the bill would be higher. So I felt all was better with the tonic water.

Previous night, at home, was pretty similar. Felt a bit miserable mixing ginger ale with soda water and lemon juice. I didn#'t get it right the first time, but then second try tasted reasonably good (thanks for the suggestions! I never thought of mixing ginger ale or tonic water with soda water before...). And then as I was having dinner I felt happy because I was not dizzy.

I think DH is very happy. He won't make a big fuss of that but I'm think he is really happy. He still doesn't get how it can be so difficult for someone to drink, but not too much. I told him that instead of thinking, and keeping track of my drinking, and worrying, and fighting the urge to drink a bit more, or a day more (until I'm back to drinking seven days a week), if I don't drink at all I can simply NOT WORRY - in fact, I can stop thinking about that at all and use my mind and energy with other things.

He agreed it sounds like a better use of headspace.

So, the weekend looms. We will all be fine.

No there's not a great amount of choice here also, especially when trying to fit in around the dc. Hopefully it will be a good one, fingers crossed. Don't like rodents either I have to say. Last year it was rat. I live in a terrace house and it ran between the houses, next door eventually got it in a trap as the poison I put down didn't seem to do anything.

Well done for going to the pub and not drinking one of them, not sure I could do that just yet. Yes it's lovely having peace from the internal monologue of should I/shouldn't I drink, I should leave it to tomorrow, how much will I buy, but what if I run out, blah blah blah.

Have a lovely sober weekend all. Busy busy this weekend so will catch up in a couple of days.

Hi all. Everything is OK really, just going through a bit of 'meh' time to be honest. It boils down to money really. Christmas, dd birthday Christmas eve (bad planning or what!) she wants a party etc and we will hive her one but it's always an expense isn't it? Added to which my mother will no doubt be cheerily (deep sarcasm) joining us. Xmas is crap for my family as in 1966 in the space of three weeks beginning Dec 16 the, my dad, grandfather and grandmother all died, so we get a wave of misery from my mother every year (although she maintains she couldn't stand my dad and never says anything nice about him anyway )

Anyhow, ds is still not 100%. he has suffered from terrible diarrhoea all week which is clearly stress related and had a bit of a meltdown last night as he has his last three exams today and didn't think he had spent enough time revising. We had to virtually put him to bed and hide his books . He has had some results back and the lowest so far have been gsce equivalent B! we can't get through to him that this is easily good enough though . Just need to keep him calm and plodding along. Hopefully he will
be a bit calmer tonight.

I am getting very worried about dh 's drinking this week. It has really crept up and he is drinking every night - anything between 4 and 6 cans of lager plus popping into the pub several nights on his way home from work. I know I can't say anything and I know it's his way of. coping with feeling miserable but I am concerned. It takes on a whole new image when I'm not drinking - I can see how frustrating it was for everyone around me, but I know he won't stop. Very tricky .

Sorry to be mememe today. Day off and feeling blergh. I did manage a run last night but even that is a struggle
at the. moment to be honest. Will
try to be cheerier later!
I have one year and 19 days sober. That's the best thing about today

Well done to everyone and keep it up!!

appalling typos! bloody tablet!!

Biggles - well done on your year-and-19-days :) (And well done for finding a positive in that!) I'm also feeling less than cheery and mine is also largely money related; or lack thereof. My DTs birthday soon and yes, party expected and given and expensive... plus Christmas, some unexpected bills, and I'm really low on funds at the moment. Not helped by it being almost a year since receiving any child maintenance. Grrr.

Sorry to hear re. your DS woes. As you say, I hope now that the exams have finished he will be able to relax. Also hear you re. the worries re. DH's drinking. It's such a minefield isn't it, and as you say makes us so aware how it must have looked with our own drinking to other people.

oneofthem - I also think you did really well to go to the pub and cope, especially in these very early days. Don't be afraid to opt out of things like that if you think it will threaten your resolve. The world won't stop turning on its axis if you forgo pubs for a while I really do have to read and immerse myself in others' stories about giving up the booze to reaffirm my belief that this is absolutely the right course of action for me. The end of the internal chatter is fantastic: there is, as you say, just so much room to think about other things. And those who've never experienced this booze monologue will never understand it!

Oneofthem (only clearly you are oneofUS!), the headspace freeing thing is just huge. So glad you are managing. I still occasionally feel a bit sorry for myself with my tonic water, but less often. And the process of fixing myself a soft drink feels less 'weird' if that makes sense. DH used to slightly tiptoe around me if he was pouring himself a drink and now just goes ahead with zero compunction which weirdly I prefer.

Biggies - that is bloody hard with your DH. Really tricky one. I suppose bottom line you can't change him and all you can do is make sure you are on track, but easier said than done I realise. My DH doesn't drink too much at all - normally half a bottle of red wine a night (which I consider fine). But even that amount changes his behaviour slightly - which I notice and find quite tedious. Also makes me feel a bit starchy and uptight in comparison, somehow. Hey ho. I wonder if your new lifestyle is making him feel under the spotlight slightly and he is adopting a bit of a 'fuck it' attitude? Either way - one year and 19 days is superb so well done you!

well I don't know what to do. I just can't rake his drinking anymore. he's not nasty or violent but he's just so stupid, boring, and ridiculous. Trying to watch a TV programme with him and he just talks shit all the way though. He won't admit to what he's drinking just blames me for well, god knows what! I have had to leave the room and come upstairs as I can't deal with it. what the hell am I going to do?

Tricky Biggles and don't know what to say. What would you say to one of us if we were in the same situation?

When I was thinking about giving up smoking I would drastically increase the amount I smoked. same with formulating the willpower to diet... And drinking..perhaps he's thinking of giving up too..? Bit of a lash I know but at least a positive one.

I just don't know what I'd say! he's done so many nice things for me today and I am really grateful and I really love him . I just feel tense the minute I know he's had a few and I can see him trying to pretend he hasn't. I hate being like this, maybe I should lighten up - he has no intention of stopping i know. I need to just sleep on it and see how he is in the morning.

Sounds like great advice :) Hope things seem better in the morning.

I would like to join in please?

Last Saturday I got horribly drunk. So bad I cannot remember most of what happened, my friends had to fill me in and even then I couldn't get any recall. My hangover lasted two days, I felt sick and couldn't even get out of bed until 3pm on the Sunday. Spent Monday at work with my head between my knees trying not to throw up in the office. I didn't even drink that much - a bottle of wine and three gin and tonics. I know it is too much but do other people get/used to get such awful hangovers from that amount of booze?

Whatever - I have decided I just don't want to do it any more. I sort of feel about it the same as I do about smoking, which I used to do quite avidly but quit 15 years ago. I just cannot understand why I used to smoke or what I got out of it. When I see people smoking I just feel a bit sorry for them. I am starting to feel like that about alcohol. This is good right?

I haven't drunk since last Saturday. I usually drink every day - between half a bottle and one whole bottle of wine would be standard. I have had really bad headaches and felt chronically tired. It's hard to tell where the hangover ended and the alcohol withdrawal began really.

I am looking forward to losing some weight eventually, saving money, and feeling and looking better. I was starting to get those broken thread veins on my nose.

Oh, and my dad was a chronic alcoholic who died of liver failure. So, that's my rather pathetic story. Good luck to everyone planning an AF weekend.

Welcome little, you're in the right place! For me the first weekend alcohol free was always the hardest, and you've done the main bit of that now. It sounds like you have some really good reasons to knock drinking on the head, and all the things you're looking forward to will happen!
Today is my first day with alcohol in the house for about 5 months as I ordered some mini wines for christmas stockings... honestly hasn't bothered me a bit! A glass of wine on a saturday night doesn't even cross my mind at the moment

How're you this morning Biggles? I feel for you with the boozing DH (am a single parent) because once the scales have fallen from your own eyes it gets harder to grin and bear it in others. Hope things are better this morning.

leftie welcome to the thread . That sounds like a similar level of drinking to mine, and yes a bottle of wine and three (double?) G&Ts could have given me a hangover like that. Towards the end my bad hangovers lasted for two days. I found it interesting coming off the booze because I never imagined that 3,4,5,6,7 days after my last drink my brain would slowly feel sharper and clearer - made me realise the effects of alcohol stretch further than the immediate suffering of a hangover.

Watch out for the tiredness - it DOES get better but I had a good three weeks of chronic tiredness. I recommend early nights and lots of reading about AF life ( Jason Vale, Mrs D Is Going Without, Sober Is The New Black, Veronica Valli, etc etc!)

Morning Biggies. Hope you feel better this morning. I feel for you and the DH situation. Not sure I can offer any advice either - other than to try to absent yourself from the situation (like you did last night). Maybe one time you can say that now you are sober you find it quite hard to be around him when he's had a few as you really notice the change in him, but realise that sounds like pot calling kettle black etc. I suspect he is feeling (maybe unconsciously ?) slightly uncomfortable about his own drinking now you are sober. Hard.

Welcome LittleL. Good to have you with us. Tiredness will pass - and my God it's wonderful never having one of those hangovers again….

Good morning. I've changed the NN! (used to be oneofthem but it's not "them". It's "me" and "us".)

Little welcome! You're probably sober for as long as me? My drunk Sunday was the last day I drank, so it's been one week today :)

I'm starting to have a leeetle wobble. Rationalising the drinking. But the funny thing is that the IDEA of not drinking is much worse than the ACTUAL not drinking.

I feel miserable thinking I can't go to a pub and have a beer, or that I'm having a risotto but I can't have a wine with it. But then I eat the risotto drinking sparkling water or whatever and it feels ok.

I have a feeling that DH is getting a bit resentful, because my not drinking makes more obvious that he can't control his eating (he's became obese in the last few years) or playing computer games. Hope I'm wrong.

Thanks for the welcomes. I guess part of me is frustrated that my friends can drink far more than me, not get as drunk, and not suffer the hangovers. It doesn't seem fair but of course life isn't fair.

In a way I suppose I am the lucky one if my hangovers stop me drinking but they just carry on - we all hit 50 in the next couple of years and three of us have parents who died of liver failure. Another has a chronically alcoholic parent still living. I don't want to end up living like my dad, popping immodium like smarties, unable to stay in hospital for any treatment because he couldn't be without the alcohol for more than a few hours.

So I am a week in and my skin already looks better. I am still very tired and having strange dreams. Hopefully in another week or two the tiredness will pass, I just wasn't expecting it. I thought I would be pinging out of bed all energised!!

Thanks for the book recommendations teapot. Brilliant name by the way!! I will get myself on amazon and get reading.