Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DRY 5

997 replies

allhailqueenmab · 19/07/2014 22:09

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

OP posts:
Lucy2610 · 07/09/2014 20:58

Haggis When does she leave? Who says you haven't become a better mother? I second stayingdry's 'deep breaths' suggestion. Try not to let her get to you - their her issues, not yours :)

CornChips · 08/09/2014 10:40

Morning all, sorry for dropping off the thread. Have had some bad days of stress and anxiety and generally just nt dealing with life very well. decided today that part of dumping the booze was to better manage my stress, and to take care of myself so have broadened that out and will probably book an appointment with the GP to maybe discuss anti anxiety meds. Sigh.

Anyway...... so... one day at a time! For alcohol, for dealing with day to day life, for self care.

Hope everyone is going well. Haggis, having people to stay is inherently stressful!

Haggismcbaggis · 08/09/2014 13:20

Cornchips - don't feel you are failing in talking to the GP about meds to make things easier. I hope they are helpful.

StayingDry and Lucy - thanks for the comfort last night. Did read but didnt post. My mil is here until next Wednesday. So two weeks in total. In fairness, she is very good in many ways - I think it's more about me than her at the moment.

I'm frustrated at the moment because every blimmin Cognitive Behavioural therapist I contact has no slots. Clearly a boom job, but very annoying. I will keep on hunting.

I hope everyone else is well. Sorry for the moany posts.

Haggismcbaggis · 08/09/2014 13:24

On a brighter note - meant to say I read a book called The Good House by Ann Leary over the weekend. I'm sure some of you have read it. The main character was an alcoholic - and when I read it I said to myself the writer MUST be one too, as there is no way you could know that stuff otherwise. And sure enough she is (wife of Denis Leary apparently). Some of it was a bit triggery though is my only warning depending on how you are doing.

CornChips · 08/09/2014 13:39

I'm sorry for my moany post too. :)

CornChips · 08/09/2014 13:40

(Yours wasn't by the way Haggis)

Lucy2610 · 08/09/2014 13:49

Haggis Have you looking into IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies)? NHS service. Depending on where you live you can self-refer or get GP to refer. At least that way you'd be on a local waiting list :)
Cornchips still weighing up going to GP myself about meds for anxiety so no shame in that. Be interested to hear what they recommend.

stayingdry · 08/09/2014 16:54

haggis, I ordered that book earlier, less than £3 off ebay.
nothing wrong with seeking help with anxiety or depression. I believe there are 1000s going without help and its wrongSad

potatofactory · 08/09/2014 21:25

Hello all - I started a thread today on my total inability to stay off the booze, so I know I don't belong here but I want to! I will be following as I gather my resolve.

Haggismcbaggis · 09/09/2014 09:10

Hi Potatofactory! You are most welcome. There is no test to pass to contribute to this thread. It's just a place for people who realise they drink more than they intend to and think that the answer to that is to cut it out of their lives, for the time bring at least. I didn't see your thread but all of us can empathise with the dawning realisation that alcohol consumes a vast proportion of our thinking space and that the effects are far-reaching.

I was surprised when I stopped how much it had affected by life. Much much more than I'd thought. My life isnt all peaches & cream due to not drinking (see below Wink) but in general it's a hell of a lot better. And more importantly I know that a stressy moment is not made any less stressy by throwing a bottle and a half of red down my neck. It makes it much much worse, both at the time & of course the next day.

Sorry that's a bit of a ramble. But I do hope you stick around.

BigglesFliesUndone · 09/09/2014 12:14

Hello all! welcome potato (may I call you that?? Grin. Absolutely - everyone who feels that alcohol is doing more harm than good is welcomed here. I happened upon the first ever thread two days after I had realised that it was stop or lose everything :(. I honestly believe part of keeping me sane and sober has been checking in here regularly. I don't post every day abut I check it out every day. You know, that's quite interesting actually I definitely stop and think nowadays before responding to anything. In the bad days I would leap in and just say/post/write anything immediately. So much more cautious nowadays.

Haggis, I hope that the MIL situation is sorting itself out, and ds a bit calmer :( It's nothing to do with you being a bad mother or anything like that! Life (people) are testing on a daily basis! My mother is still causing me heartache and anxiety regularly but I can actually see the reasons why now. Still bloody hard!

Cornchips Lucy, get drugs! seriously, get them if you feel they will help. Like many people, I am on a strong AD and probably will be forever. I'd rather be taking it and feeling well than struggling! No shame there at all.

Bit dull here in Bigglesland. I'm at work doing a grant application for next years funding which is very dull and very mind stretching (sums :() This is the main time of the year that I truly earn my money!

One very good thing happened last week - one of my trustees at work happened to mention that he owns a 'little place in Portugal'. Well, I was straight in there Wink. Upshot being we have booked a week away next Easter at a ridiculous low price - not what you know eh??! So excited. I know it's six months but something to look forward to..

There is an issue about dh drinking which I'm struggling with but I don't feel like I want to explain it at the moment. Maybe I'll feel able to soon. Not bad as such, just...I dunno, odd.

Anyway, Have a wonderful day all x

stayingdry · 09/09/2014 12:25

potato, have read your thread and the replies. think you would benefit posting on this thread as we all are and have been in your shoes completely.you say that you don't know whether you are an alcoholic, the simple test for me was to open a bottle of wine have one glass and put it in the fridge to see if I could leave it there. lol, fat chance, didn't last the hour, got me knarky, nasty and anxious, so drank it and fetched another. yippee I'm an alcoholicAngry
wouldn't have a bottle in the house now, never, one year of sobriety down the line.Wink

Haggismcbaggis · 09/09/2014 14:50

Biggles - well done on the Easter trip! Lovely it have something to look forward to.

I'm feeling a bit more chipper. Finally found a therapist actually taking on new clients and seeing her this Friday for an initial chat.

BigglesFliesUndone · 09/09/2014 15:57

The only problem is that I will have to take the dc out of school the last three days of term.. I know it's a big 'to do' on MN but a weeks break for under £500 ? I think they'll be ok.

Still faffing about 'asking' the schools or them being poorly :(

Lucy2610 · 09/09/2014 20:24

Haggis Glad you found an available therapist :)
Biggles Have the same issue myself next June. Oldest friend of mine's wedding, whole families invited - and she lives in the US. Still trying to figure out what to do re school and kids :/

Haggismcbaggis · 09/09/2014 20:50

They do bugger all the last few days of term. I've "had"to do it a couple of times as my youngest has different term times to the elder two. If she won't be back into school after the unauthorised days off I tend to claim illness. Blush By the time she's back no one asks her about being poorly ...

potatofactory · 09/09/2014 21:05

So lovely to read your replies! Thank you all so much - I will be around, and well done to you all Smile

BigglesFliesUndone · 09/09/2014 21:06

That's my thought too. Neither of them are in test/exam years and it's right at the end of term. I think there will be a nasty bug around....

potatofactory · 09/09/2014 21:38

I know I couldn't forget about a bottle of wine in the fridge, stayingdry. My DH has no problem whatsoever, though. There will be bottles in the house unless I come clean and I am terrified of doing that from several angles Hmm

Lucy2610 · 09/09/2014 21:41

Potato welcome from me too!
Unfortunately the wedding is at the beginning of June so right in the middle of the term and not even near half-term. To make flying to the East coast worthwhile we'd need to take them out for a week. Could go on my own but that seems really unfair. What to do what to do ....... Confused

BigglesFliesUndone · 10/09/2014 08:10

It's really hard isn't it!! I'm musing every day, and it's not till March, so I get totally what you mean.

One of the parents I know well at school regularly takes her two out a couple of days before the end of term and, in fact at the begiining, to swan off to the other side of the world visiting family. I may ask if she gets permission or not. trouble is, it's a bit of a middle class trendy school where a week in Portugal would be frowned upon and yet a few days in a poncy country would be deemed acceptable, if you see what I mean Grin

BigglesFliesUndone · 10/09/2014 08:12

potato - why are you worried? Couldn't you just say you fancy a break?? I do understand what you mean though. I can deal with dh's drinks in the house pretty much all of the time now, but to start with it was really hard - I felt bitter, resentful and pissed off.

Lucy2610 · 10/09/2014 09:47

Biggles Am dying to know what school it is seeing as live locally and work within the school setting! Don't worry curiosity will have to kill this cat Grin

CornChips · 10/09/2014 10:11

Hi all, welcome potato. :) Just waving hi. Off to the GP tomorrow to talk about anxiety etc.

Love the idea of a Portugal trip. :) We are thinking/dreaming of Greece next year. I need something to look forward to.

BigglesFliesUndone · 10/09/2014 10:34

Begins with an 'M' Wink