DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

Hello all

Yes biggles, I could say I fancy a break - just not that I want no booze in the house... Unless I admit all - I reckon once I get going I'll be fine as part of the problem is that I don't really do moderation much... So it'll be my new obsession to be teetotal and feeling good!

You won't regret it!

Hi there Potato (feels just wrong calling someone that!). You sound just like me….. Moderation isn't a word I understand. I haven't read your other thread so don't know your story, but if you have trawled back through this one and the ones that came before it then hopefully you have heard our tales of woe and powerlessness over the sodding bottle. I have been around for ages (various NCs) on the thread and it's full of top, supportive, wise and non-judgemental women. I understand your reluctance to 'announce' what you are doing. The only people who 'know' that I have a (proper, grown-up) alcohol problem are DH, DM and one v. close friend. Oh, and my AA mates. But frankly haven't told others - just don't want to have to announce my alcoholism. I did a lot of secret drinking and drinking at home - so most people were unaware how bad it had got (although they all knew I liked a drink). Got to a hellish, lonely place through drinking - crept up on me slowly through my 30s. Got to go now - kids demanding supper - but wanted to say hi and WELCOME.

Thanks Biggles for the clue
Evening all - bumper crop of blackberries in the hedges this year! Still here still sober :)

Haha! I was out running the other day and had done about 7k so was a bit dehydrated - hadn't got any water (can't run holding water, need a plan...) so, on spotting a massive great blackberry bush, just grabbed a load and ate them! it worked.

Thanks so much for the welcome Alsoflamingo - lovely to be among people who are like me (& doing so much better than me - this does inspire me though I am not there yet.)

potato, concerning your other half, I personally think you should tell him, you will need the support and encouragement. my stories slightly different, my partner was about to leave me ,take the children away from me, if I didn't sort my drinking out. I'd hid my drinking from him but in the end it got out of hand and he confronted me.
To cut a long story short, I got help with AA , stopped drinking, clawed back gradually his trust, he stood by me, and now I am the person I wanted to be, a good mum and partner and above all else I actually like myself. He is a drinker, doesn't bother me now, have accepted that I can't drink, end of.
maybe you could sit him down, tell him you think you have issues in stopping drinking, and feel you want to stop completely.
I wouldn't soft soap the issue, tell him you think you're an aloholic. its a disease and you have it. good luck with what ever path you choose

Thank you so much for your thoughts, stayingdry - I am thinking a lot myself... I know you're right about telling my DH.

Where is everyone?? enjoying the last bit of weather and sipping fizzy I hope

I've been a bit poorly. Felt really down and weepy and rundown the last few days. Woke up this morning with a terrible headache and was whisked back to hangover days which was not nice I don't know if it's just a bit of 'life, meh' or a bug type thing. I tried to run yesterday and had to stop after about 2 minutes which was very depressing. Running always gets me going!

Come back potato and let us know how you are. In fact, come back everyone!!

How is everyone doing? All gone a bit quiet on the thread. Wonder how things are going Potato? I am finding it much easier now the children are back at school. More able to plan my time (control issues anyone???!!!) and get stuff done. Had been putting loads of stuff on back burner so 'to do' list was out of control.

Morning! Sorry was away in Manchester for the week-end attending the Advocacy in Action conference, supping mocktails at the new dry bar The Umbrella Cafe and then walking with 5000 other clean and sober amazing people on the UK Recovery Walk. Mind-blowing ......
Biggles sorry to hear it's all a bit meh. God how I'd love a dry bar near me ;)

We should open one!

Funny you should say that as that's exactly what two of the founders of Manchester's dry bar said to me on Friday night! ;)

Well it's obviously fate! shall I start checking the paper for commercial properties???!!

Funny you should say that though, a few months ago, a friend of mine was looking at placea accounts

arghhhh! places to open a wine bar and wanted me to help her out

haha! commercial properties to buy or rent are a steal in my nearest city ;)

Strangely not ever so cheap here...

Hello all, I'm touched by your wondering how I'm doing - I'm doing ok but I can't actually say that I have given up all alcohol for good - not yet, but have drunk very little and reminding myself every morning how great it is to wake jot full of self-hatred.

Am gathering strength - I like this quote from Bill Nighy. Simple but effective: ' I used to drink, and it was terrible. Now I don't drink, and it's absolutely bloody marvellous'

Hi everyone- sorry for falling off the thread. Had a very busy and anxiety filled couple of weeks. Went to the Dr and she has prescribed anti depressants (not even remotely a surprise) so I am on those. Oddly enough, she never mentioned not drinking on them, but the info says that they mix very badly with alcohol.

mocktails. Mmmm..... we should create some recipes. My favourite remains Belvoir ginger cordial with dry ginger ale, lime juice and mint. I also like the strawberry and rhubarb cordial they do with fizzy water and mint.

morning potato! Cutting down is great, basically. whatever. works. for you! I have never. heard that quote from bill nighy and I love him I do agree though!

Lucy -it must almost be your year???

hope everyone is OK

Potato love Bill Nighy and that quote. I'm telling you up front now that I'm stealing it!
Cornchips why oh why do GP's not ask people about drink when consulting about depression? It does my head in.
Biggles Sunday is the day!! Had an early sober birthday present yesterday when I met Haggis and 6 other lovely sober ladies for lunch in London. There was cards and presents and cake and laughter and tears. I still haven't come down from it yet! :)
Hope everyone has a lovely day.

Morning

Sorry to dip in and out of the thread. Cornchips, best of luck with eveything and I hope things pick up for you soon.

I just wanted to drop in and note a few things about not drinking at a big industry event:

As always, the first part seems tricky and then you just get on with it
As always I forgot to decide in advance what my drink was going to be, which made it unnecessarily difficult
Lots of people don't actually drink much, they are fun, I had some good chat with people I hadn't met before
Lots of people who drink a lot get very boring and stupid
I am enjoying the heightened authenticity I feel bringing my real self everywhere. Something I have been thinking about a lot is how to integrate various pieces of myself, and having the courage to take myself out in public like that - where I may not be liked - is part of this; rather than leaving myself in a drawer between layers of tissue paper and just using the unsubstantive, drinking me, who can be kicked around and abused at will because there is nothing there
but using your good stuff every day is a way of valuing it. I feel precious, I feel that taking myself about like this is like having an instrument I always knew how to play but now I am finally taking it to the party. Scary! but liberating
Shocking how, even stone cold sober, my inhibitions drop with lateness. I said something very blunt to someone at midnight that I am astonished at in the cold light of day; don't regret it exactly, but it's something to watch.
In fact, isn't this where I came in? Finding that my critical self is considered by many - including me - to be unpalatable, pushing it down, and using drink to quell the boredom of being physically out but not allowed to bring my actual self out to play? How can I work on being kind and gentle with sincerity, rather than just shutting myself up and being absent?

Sorry for such a screed. Have a good day all, please post and let us know how you are.

Mocktails! - great project - lime and mint is lovely, what should you use as a base for that - maybe ginger beer?

Just finished the Ann Leary book, great read, very close to home particularly about the black outs, not remembering what you did. When you think of the what ifs....frightening
The denying you're an alcoholic because you don't fit the pattern expected. What you tell yourself to kid yourself, I'm not an alcoholic because I don't drink all day or because I hold down a job.

Anyway, Lucy, a year eh....absolutely fantastic, a great mile stone in your sober journey. I felt a bit off track the couple of days before mine, remembering the state I was in this time last year, but it passed. I was told that the hard work starts then, after a year because I had proved l could get through life, its dramas, birthdays, anniversaries. Enjoy your year birthday, hope you get some nice gifts and cards, l did, but l keep counting the days, stay sober 1 day at a time

Thanks stayingdry :)
Veronica Valli and I did a Skype interview that discussed the very things that keep us stuck in the denial and if you'd like to see what I look like IRL then go here:

Big scary step for me as Haggis only found out what I looked like yesterday but f it - in for a penny in for a pound! I'm out and I'm proud