DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

Morning all!
Corn I handle things spectacularly badly with DC's on a regular basis and like you find myself behaving like the very person I so do not want to be because of my childhood experience. But you see it and you are doing something about it so please be gentler on yourself :)

Agree. Seeing it and recognising it is massive first step. Most people don't manage that level of honesty/reflection!!

afternoon all. Corn I'm so sorry to hear you're having a grim time. I hope things improve.

DH and I went away for our night and it was perfect. We went to the hotel pool and then for a two hour walk around the area in the afternoon - beautiful place, all trees and woods and lakes and gorgeous little market town, a lovely dinner then another walk around the town, then just back to our room.

I twinged a bit - especially when we were given a free bottle of wine voucher on our arrival but Dh just ripped it up and said 'right, swim?' [smile. I had a brief word with him on the way, in a jolly kind of hoho 'you are a bit boring when you drink lovey' way and he actually only had two pints the whole day and evening so maybe things have been taken in..

Back to two miserable children no idea why. Both in tears all afternoon - completely baffled as my mum, whilst bonkers, is perfectly lovely to them ( at least ) I think they were amazed we actually did go away again. We spend our lives putting them first and running around for them that they don't really see us as people! I did explain to dd that mummy and daddy need to be alone sometimes to retain to be even better parents! I thought that was quite a good one

I love the impression of me surrounded by sobriety tomes! not far from the truth haggis .

Summer pretty much over now - back to reality eh? have a wonderful week everyone xx

Cornchips - like others have said, I totally empathise with the shame that comes when we react to our kids badly. Sounds like what he said hit such a nerve with you because you have been battling so hard not to parent as your mother did. And I imagine you are successful in doing that for the vast majority of the time,and that's what counts. I can't tell you the number of times I have been the most appalling parent. I shudder to think of it. Stopping drinking has helped me in terms of irritability and so on, but sadly it's not been a magic wand and I still have a long way to go. We can only do our best.

Biggles, your night away sounds so lovely - I am very glad it went so well!

I've had a mixed day. Eldest two went back to school. I'd underestimated the impact on my middle child who has ASD - I thought because he'd ultimately settled well last school year he'd ease back in. Not so - but I know it will get better. If I keep my cool with his unrelenting negativity ....

Oh and someone invited me to Bestival today. I paused for a moment .... Hmmm that would be fun. Before copping on and realising that going to a big festival, with no means of escape, 3 months sober would be bonkers.

Have left early to go and collect eldest child and stopped for a bloody great bowl of pasta at Carluccios. I'm doing Sugar-free September (well going to attempt it ) but no way can I cut all carbs. This is self-care, no?

Hope everyone else is doing well today.

cornchip, as been said be kind to yourself, God if I had a pound for every time I had a bad parent moment, blimey.
As for reacting by having a drink, you're an alcoholic babe, thats how we are programmed to cope. Dust off, carry on, doesn't take away the sobriety you enjoyed.
you know the gifts sobriety brings I sometimes think thats half the battle, leads to your serenity. its the dealing with life when its not going well we don't cope well with picking up a drink is an easy anaesthetic to us
off AA shortly, gotta face a resentment I picked up last week, hopefully not a problem,
glad you had a good night away biggles

who was it said recently it isn't good to be with your kids 24 7, boy were they right The little devils getting me down , mum, mum, mum, mum, grrrrr!
thanks, rant over

I love it when DH and I go away for a night. It happens about once a year - so twice in a week was amazing! I used to feel really guilty and phone every five minutes, but I know that we need to be on our own for a bit and they do benefit when we return, they really do.

Sugar free September? That sounds really hard. So much sugar everywhere!

I'm not looking TOO hard for the sugar in stuff. It has to be very clearly sugary or added sugar to fall within the exclusion zone!

It was ME saying it wasn't normal to be with kids 24/7. I honestly think that. There is probably a handful of rather bovine placid types who enjoy every minute of it, but I think for the vast majority of people it has plenty of infuriating, guilt-inducing, emotionally exhausting and hugely tedious moments…. Suffice it to say, I feel your pain, StayingD. Rant away whenever.

Sugar-free September an admirable aspiration. I am trying to eat fewer carbs/sugar, more of the good stuff, but can't do a total ban. Or rather I do that for a few days and then have mad binge (obsessive alcoholic thinking anyone???).

I agree Alsoflamingo!

thankyou flamingo. .now dp home from work being a miserable bastard..christ no wonder that I drank
off to AA, peaceful and serebe, hopefully x

How's everyone doing? It must be wrong to say, but boy am I glad that my 3 are back at school. And the weather is quite nice too.

Yippee - me too Haggis love them dearly but we all need a break from each other sometimes! Having spent all summer waiting for it to be the last day of the holidays was actually quite wistful when it was ..... Glorious weather here too so celebrated with a run :)
Hope everyone else is okay too

my 1 year sobriety birthday today. dp bought me a beautiful necklace, he ordered it from America and it has my sobriety birthday on it.

congratulations, stayingdry

Happy 1 year soberversary!! stayingdry huge congrats from me too :)

Woo hoo! many congrats. xxx

Happy soberversary StayingDry! So glad you gift such a lovely present. Was it a surprise or did you help choose it?

www.etsy.com/listing/103272835/serenity-prayer-necklace-with-date
that link shows you it, and I kinda guessed as some of the questions hes been asking made me guess.
let him off being a grumpy git now
thank you so much for the good wishes, happy sober me You're next aren't you biggles? x

I reckon I am! 28th October!! seems so close

I think Lucy might be next week or the following. Well done of of you guys on or approaching a year!

Yep mine is 21st Sept - so 2 weeks & 1 day away
Morning all just back from a run and sober life is good :)

God I'm having a shit day. DS has been awful since starting back to school. My mother in law is driving me fucking insane. She insist in staying with us for weeks at a time. Constantly hovering about, questioning what I am doing, judging me. I foolishly though stopping drinking would delve all my problems, that I'd become a better mother, less of a cow. Hasn't worked. Feel like drinking. But I won't.

oh haggis, mother in law, don't envy you there. feel exactly like you do when my mil stayed afew weeks back. lovely, lovely lady but better 100 miles away
I applied my steps when she stayed, patience and tolerance struggled but just kept my side of the street clean, paused when I needed to, and treated her like a sick friend.Taking a pause was a huge one that helped me.
remember that you are probably finding it more difficult because of your alcoholism, we alcoholics don't like change.

spoke to my stepmum earlier, she whispered, yes whispered, down the phone to me "how are you doing with your little problem, do you still go to that clinic"
I am an alcoholic not got ghonerrea for f##s sake.
take a pause...........
Happy days, kids back at school tomorrow