DRY 5

[allhailqueenmab]

Starting this before the old one gets filled up!
this is the thread for the alcohol free.
Join us!

I'm well thank you. So tired today though and feel like I'm cold and getting flu. So er... mentally well if not physically! Getting loads of packing/ cleaning/ sorting out done. We have a packing service but thats a bit too anxiety inducing to have them 'touching all my things' so I'm pre-packing packing and cleaning everything so I feel okay on packing day.

Could not have been this organised if I was still drinking every evening.

I'm not having any peer pressure issues around drinking but I am only going out in the daytime (when most people are also not drinking due to driving etc.) I don't know what I'd do... Maybe tell them I'm on tablets? Or say something rude if they continued...

Think I might need a nap now!

Moving house! such a stressful time for sure, but think how much easier it will be sober! I get in a call packing for three days away . Friends of ours have just (as in yesterday!) emigrates to Australia, and I just can't imagine how they managed to get it together - mind you I would do it in a flash.

The old telling people problem - you just have to kind of judge who they are and what they will take from you. It does anger me that sometimes we can't just be honest and say 'look, I am a bloody nightmare drinking, cannot do it safely or sensibly and will probably die if I don't stop, so have your couple of glasses and let me have my juice' actually, that sounds like a reasonable sentence!

still v chuffed with my TEN k run and waiting for dinner. It was a bit lonely and sad just me and dd with our pizza and snacks the last two nights

10K bloody impressive!

Evening all! Back earlier than expected from festival as DD started throwing up at 5am. We thought it was too much chocolate last night but then DS started at 3pm this afternoon. Festivals, campervans and vomiting children are not a good mix so home we came to give them a bath and their own beds. Can really recommend Just So festival if you're looking for a family festival to go to. Kids had a fantastic time although weather wasn't great. Wished I could drink for one short moment at about 4pm on Saturday when we were watching a live band, it felt like everyone around was boozing, the kids had been trying and just wanted to take the edge off it all. Euphoric recall of festivals past but it soon subsided. Had a quick read and waves to all. Biggles great news on 10K and resisting the pull of the stubbies. Haggis equally good news on 12 days sober holiday success. Now off for an early night in my own bed.

haha! did I mention I did TEN k sorry, just dead proud of myself

Well done on your 10k Biggles :) Get well soon Lucy's DCs.

Lucy - really hope your DC are ok and that you guys have not one succumbed! The festival sounded great - love the pics on the blog. My girls would love something like that - my boy not so much! Well done on another sober trip.

Biggles - 10k that's bloody amazing . I can't run due to a childhood hip disorder that meant I got a bionic one last Sept. So I am always in awe of people that do.

Merce - good on you for getting through the wedding. You did so well maybe the dancing sober thing will happen anon? I've got a wedding in a month. It's a slightly odd one as it's a college friend who was married to a close friend of mine - but she died nearly 7 years ago of Melanoma leaving him & their three lovely babies. So a slightly bittersweet one - although of course we are very glad he has found someone.

Hi to Art and Jemima and everyone today!

Hello all, just checking in and saying hello. I went to my second sober wedding at the weekend, and while it was fun, and I did not struggle, I felt quite 'set aside' from people. It is probably all in my head but it felt a bit odd.

I have decided I need to do more things outside of work. I have joined a running club and signed up to some pilates classes. I think I need to concentrate on tiring myself out as I think about not drinking a lot, probably more than I thought about drinking when I drank.

Well done on hiding the stubbies biggles. I had a weird moment last week when I went out with a friend after work. She fancied a cocktail and I had a mocktail. I saw him prepare it, no booze, but it made me feel really jittery and a bit anxious. I think it was all the faff and ta-daaaa that comes with a cocktail. I really started to get the cravings and the thirst even though it was clearly a fruit drink. I was not prepared for that at all and it really made me wobble. I am sure if I had a straight juice I would have been fine. At least I know now, and I was not in danger of slipping, but I was not expecting the weird feelings.

I hope everyone is well xx

Kate - I think someone should open a cocktail bar called The Faffi & Ta-daa. Love how you put that! Well done on both the wedding and the cocktail odd feelings. Certain things are bound to be a bit triggery. My husband had me sniff his wine last night as he thought it was corked. It was so close to my mouth - part of me thought - oooh I could just involuntarily sip this. (I'm fairly sure sniffing wine to see if it's corked is not recommended behaviour in someone only 67 days sober....)

Hello all
Well DC's are better but I'm in a post holiday funk. Biggles I think you expressed the same. Had to manage it with a nap this afternoon seeing as DH was here. What is it about holidays - all the excitement/anxiety before getting ready for it and then the post holiday slump afterwards. In some ways it reminds me of drinking - not that I'll be imbibing and Haggis well done on not doing the same when it was waved under your nose!! Merce and Kate - haven't done a wedding yet, that is one of the last sober firsts on my list still but imagine I would feel weird too. Shall sup my cherry and cinnamon herbal tea and wait for the feelings to pass.

Hi all,

I am not on here often but just checking in. Just added it up and this is day 230 of being dry! Feeling very pleased with myself but to be honest it doesn't feel hard to do now. Not drinking has been my new normal for a while now. I started this as a year long challenge to see what life is like sober. I have discovered that everything is just as much fun. No actually it is more fun. And I remember everything. And it is cheaper. And there are no hangovers!

I am now working on other things in an effort to improve myself. I stopped smoking 10 days ago. Stopping drinking meant I pretty much stopped anyway but wanted to stop the odd sneaky one I stoll have.

I am working hard on improving my mental health issues which have surfaced since booze hasn't been there to suppress them!

And I am working on eating better and exercising more since I am obese and i don't feel great physically.

I'm still not sure if I will go back to drinking or not at the end of the year but I am currently thinking not. I want to feel good not hungover and tired! I prefer this me. She is more interesting than the drunk me ;)

Hope you are all coping ok. It is definitely worth getting through those first couple of months where it is hard. I guess once a habit is broken you wonder why it seemed so hard...

Hi Nikki . I have just worked out I'm on day 296!! It just doesn't seem possible. I kind of look back over the past ten months and thtry to think of the really serious cravings and I can't really remember any. there have been many evenings of 'fuck it ' and feeling kind of 'deprived', but I can really say I don't regret it any of it. It's still hard and it will be for ages I think, but the benefits are amazing. Everyone has commented on how well I look - I am 50 and feel better than I have felt since goodness knows when - I was also thinking last night when I sneezed a couple of times, that I really can't remember the last time I felt ill, properly ill - apart from the exploding stomach after my surgery in January and the self inflicted running injuries :(. Talking of which, I am paying for my 10k today -ouchy !

It's quite quite mad!

hi all, back from Butlins, survived my 1st real holiday test surprisingly easy, No crave for a drink, in fact the only drinking issue I had was paying £2.80 for a coffee
Day 348 today for me

Fabtastic

Well done all! I am on day 157 today and feel pretty good. I went to my AA meeting earlier and I really do love being sober. There are weird moments along the way, but I feel as though I am making decisions finally. Since I was 18 and boozing really heavily, I seemed to react to alcohol related fuck ups. Having a grip on what is going on and not having daily panic attacks is wonderful.

Hope everyone is doing well xx

Hi all,

Haven't posted here for a while so just checking in to say hello.

cornchips sounds scary but I bet that you will be very aware of the road next time- unlike the drivers on their phones,or hungover or worried about jobs etc. don't let it get to you.

I'm feeling very calm and settled. I'm approaching 3 months sober.for the second time and just wanted to talk about being sober again after a lapse.

You guys were kind enough to let me whitter when I was scraping myself together earlier this year. I had 13 months sobriety and then had a drink. I didn't go mad or rob banks but I got back to sad little sofa drinking every night which is not good enough for me any more,I expect a bit more from life these days

I don't believe that my lapse wiped out all the sobriety I had had,but I was surprised at how much ground I had lost. I had begun to isolate again and begun to resent everything.

I've made some big changes this time around and got back to aa. I really look after myself and have picked up some hobbies all of make it hard to go back to drinking.Like everyone in recovery I'm running and swimming,I eat a healthy diet and make sure I get out and see my friends.

Surprisingly,I had bad cravings again which occured every two weeks or so- alcohol does not let go easily. I think and hope that I'm through with those buggers but I work hard at my sobriety now.

I feel much calmer and my curiosity has been satisfied. I know what happens when I don't go to meeting etc. I drink. I don't lie in the gutter or commit crime but my drinking makes me really unhappy and I get dependent again.

I think it's quite possible to relapse again but I think it would be for a shorter time so less harm would be done.

Hope you don't mind my whittering on,I've just been thinking about where I'm at. I'm not elated just normal,which is a good place for this recovering alcoholic to be.

Evening all ladies and look at those numbers!! :) Everyone seems to be doing really well and it is so helpful and positive to be around. Congrats to all. Me I'm on day 332 Have just finished watching the film 'Smashed' which is really good and portrays AA as being a great organisation to be part of - maybe I should try another different meeting? Like you Guggenheim that curiosity still remains about what would happen if I drank again but I just don't want to test it (today anyway). Getting this far sometimes feels so hard fought for me .....

guggenheim, enjoyed your post. The knowledge of your own recovery shines through. found it very humbling.
coming up to a year but am starkly aware its only one day at a time. I love the AA saying, the oldest serving member of AA is the one that got up 1st this morning.
I know and have seen 1st hand how easy it is to pick up again.
my sobriety is the most important thing in my life because without that I lose everything, end of.
I live a quiet life, shy away from drama, no interest in being centre stage which I know is where alcohol will take me.
I go AA because I can't do this battle with alcohol alone.lf that's all I have to do to keep my life how it is, then so be it. There is only one thing in life I can't do, drink, but if I do I will end up in the gutter, simple.

lucy, not heard of that film, will try and find it.
some fab sobriety times, 1 day is a massive achievement, so when its getting in the 100s...wow

Hi stayingdry that is really kind.I absolutely agree that sobriety is the most important thing though ds and the cat are cute. I love those reminders to stay away from drama and just keep living in the moment. I'm finding lots of brilliant new things to do which are a good deal more interesting than drinking.

A year is a great achievement,any ideas of how to celebrate? One of the people I really like at my group is coming up to a year and she is so excited and pleased. Good to see.

lucy i loved that list of films,I'm looking forward to getting cracking on it when I have the chance.

Thanks Guggenheim :) Am going to watch 'When Love is Not Enough' tonight myself - not in my list but recommended in the comments by another lovely person.
Happy Sober Weds all - I have a job interview this pm Gah!

Thanks for your post Guggenheim! You tested what you needed to. It seems like find other stuff to do is key. I really need to work on that.

Lucy - I'm working my way through your blog list of films. Watched the documentary Lipstick and Liquor last night (available to rent on iTunes). Have you seen it. It's ..... odd. Starting with .... the bloody title. Yes, very catchy I am sure but it drives me nuts that people (and this was made by a woman FFS) think that adding the word lipstick, high heels, mama etc to something is a good way to define something as relating to women. The film itself was watchable - and in parts, had a clear message, sensibly told. However, an overarching story of one of the women and her ultimate fate to which the film returned was overly sensationalised in a tabloid-esque way. Which was a shame, because the attitude of the authorities to this women (judged SO harshly because she was a mother and was lost in her battle with alcohol she acted against her normal maternal instinct) was in many ways one of the strongest and most damning aspects of the film. A woman called Emily who I hope is still a blogger & still sober reminded me a lot of Lotta Dann. The two very glam ladies in their 50s were inspirational, even if I spent a bit of time thinking how one of them looked like Abby Clancy. But I'm a bit shallow like that.

Watching Leaving Las Vegas tonight as I'm not sure I ever watched the whole thing.

Really impressed by the list of time people have wracked up. But love the aa expression someone just highlighted (sorry can't scroll on ipad) that the longest serving aa member is the one who got up earliest.

Oh, and it had my first drinking dream last night. That's what you get for watching recovery movies before bed. Interesting that in it I had drunk a beer forgetting that I wasn't supposed to. And then all of a sudden ten minutes later I realised what I had done. In the dream I was thinking of asking Mumsnet did I need to count that as a lapse as it was done subconsciously . Got that great Bobby Ewing feeling when I woke up!

Hope everyone is doing well today.

There is an a amazing documentary on youtube which I have watched a few times. I cannot remember what it's called (helpful) but it's done by a guy who went into a hospital liver unit and interviewed the doctor and some of the patients who had alcohol related illnesses. Really sort of 'home movie' feel to it. Very Very sad too. I'll try to find out what it is called.

'Rain In My Heart'

Hello all

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and reading and researching about where to go from here. In two weeks I will have been sober for 6 months and I am so proud of what I have achieved. My mental health is so much better, I have lost nearly 2 stone, I can run 10k, I can dance all night at weddings, I can host parties...in short I do not need alcohol and it does not control me anymore.

Having written all of that, I am seriously thinking about testing out 'moderation management' after my six months. It's something I've been reading about and it could work. My ideal is never to be drunk or hungover again, but being teetotal for the rest of my life, well, all of a sudden I'm just not sure if that's what I want. Now I know you're probably screaming "No Mistress, don't do it", and I totally understand. I just feel like I'd like to have the odd glass of wine, or beer in the future without feeling like I've failed. I know it is very dangerous ground to tread, but I think I might try it. There are certain rules to follow (google if interested) which I think I can manage. If I feel as though it's not working, I will restart abstinence as I know what to do and how to cope.

I don't know when or if I will have that first drink, but I feel strangely relaxed and at peace about it all.

I will bow out of the thread if I am no longer dry, as I don't want to trigger anyone else. But I'll certainly be back for support if I feel things aren't working. And I'll be lurking like mad, as even if I do have the odd drink, I will still spend a lot of time not drinking.

Just felt I had to share my latest thinking on it all.