autistic ex husband

[ptsdhelp]

As a result of years of events of my ex husband failing to acknowledge or consider anyone else emotions or feelings two people including a professional counsellor have suggested that he may be on the autistic spectrum. Which would apparently explain his inability to relate to how his behaviour and thoughtlessness affects others.... does anyone have experience of this?

In life*

But selfish twats can do that too.

My ex leeches, definitely. His family are held utterly hostage by him. He leeches financially but he also requires huge amounts of help and support from them, costing them time and effort, which he cannot acknowledge or be grateful for.

Interesting.

thanks lady cake - I will look at the course in the holidays when I'm working less,
I do try to see the good in people - but there isn't any in him. its a case of training my mind to realise that!! like you said - i'll practice.

thanks for your support ladies - after years of putting up with his crap its taking me a while to develop new responses and be resilient I guess!

I'm not sure what mine was, I suspect a leech. From when ds was 1 week old he used to turn up drunk at 3am and bang on my door because he was pissed and wanted somewhere to sleep. I can't work out what sort of father wakes their sleeping newborn to do this. There's more but I wouldn't want to hijack the thread

I would love to move lady - but financially cannot! and emotionally probably not quite strong enough yet...

You can do this ptsd. I bet if you look back at how far you've come over the past year now you'll be surprised (in a good way). The road ahead's looking bright, just keep going forwards.

When you're ready

feel free to hijack! sure you've had enough of my twat ex!

No, not at all. I can't say too much, ds has just jumped on the sofa next to me and I wouldn't want him to read bad things about 'him'.

Im reading a book on my kindle called psychopath free...something something, recovering from a relationship with a narc.

Anyway, it basically explains how narcs behave. Really interesting read.

thanks lady - you sound like a very positive soul!

Ptsd, do you think you will move one day?

Have to be. Negative just takes you back down again, and that's not always the best place to go

I would like to be nearer my folks.... but moving now wouldn't be right for my little one.... I'm busting a gut to keep us in our house because she wouldn't cope well with moving house locally... to move 200 miles away would be hard... and financially not great! but the support back home would be great

Could you visit home more? It would be good for her to have some lovely people around her. I always say it takes a village to raise a child, if you know what I mean.

I do try - but its been tricky - only recently can I manage long journeys (or afford them).... but I agree with you. she needs to see that more people love her, and they do.

Do you have the space for them to come and see you for a few days? Could help with the childcare

yes... they do visit when they can - we have two weeks with them this summer - I cant wait.

thank you for tonight - its much appreciated.... I need to sleep now... x

Goodnight ptsd. Hope you're feeling more positive. Always a PM away

G'night.

another email from him today moaning about the arrangements for school holidays - that I had to make because he wouldn't commit to anything.... and saying that he cant move his stuff out of my house (AFTER 2 YEARS) because he has plans - could he do it another weekend (when I have plans) I have given him ample opportunity!! can I book a removal company and he be liable for the cost?

Just tell him, unless he comes to pick them up like you've already asked you'll leave them outside on the doorstep for him because you're busy that weekend . Don't respond to his moaning though, only about his things.

You could always put his things into a taxi (depends on what crap he has though). He'd have to pay at the other end.

I dropped my ex's stuff off at his friend's flat as I didn't want him anywhere near me.

my entire loft and garage is full of his shit! so I cant really get it to him! shall I really not respond to the rest - I really wanna point out that its all down to his refusal to communicate - I know, I know, I shuld let it go.... whats it gonna acheive