Our DCs are 4 and 1. I would deary had loved to have been a SAHM until they went to school, but as the main earner in our household I had to go back, albeit PT, when DC1 was 4.5 months. With DC2 it was 9 months, but I was taking on self employed contracts from 3 months. Our financial situation has been insecure, complex and a huge worry to me for all of that time. I accept that I could have continued to work FT to avoid some of that.
I am now having to go FT in a new position. I'm sad about this and while I think my new employer will be ok, it's a big unknown and a choice I didn't want to have to make. I can't stay with my current employer as we left our beloved town last year to move 'home' because it was the more affordable option.
We have had to rely on financial and childcare arrangements implicating family as a result.
I have felt resentful than DH hasn't stepped up to improve his earnings or earning power in all that time. He has never even enquired about a new job, much less applied. In fact I think I'm the only one looking. He works FT in a job that he doesn't enjoy and which is quite stressful day to day. He doesn't need to bring work home at all however, but that's a big part of my job.
DH wants to be self employed in a field that I think is very competitive. He is doing precious little about it, however. He is very slowly doing some work for a friend of mine, and is blaming my home work for his lack of progress. There is some truth in this but my last contract finished three weeks ago and he has done nothing since then.
I'm presenting DH in a very bad light. He is a lovely dad. He absolutely does his share with the DCs and around the house. He can be a bit inefficient which is quietly frustrating to me, because the time he loses in being slow could be used for making some progress with his career or just having some time to himself, rather than having to find that relaxation time on top of faffing time.
I sound like a real cow, I know. I'm stressed, grumpy and fat - hardly a catch myself. But I'm fed up of the weight of all this being on my shoulders. DH sulks if ever we discuss it, and still doesn't do anything, so taking seems pointless. However I fear for our marriage if something doesn't change and if we don't start showing more respect for each other soon.
Anyone experienced similar?