The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

I have worked through my longing for wine and have cracked open an alcohol free beer. You gotta do what it takes.

I have kicked the WW into touch.

Ooh, I do like the idea of you all curtsying to me!
However, as I am drinking tonight and many of you aren't, then I curtsey to you!
Am back in cold rainy Scotland after the scorchio temperatures of London.
Massage with lovely Derek tomorrow - he with the hands kissed by angels- and he wants to hear all the gossip so looking forward to that!

ma may I be first to curtsey.... Whatever s going on, you post here. Good or bad, you post here. Family issues, you post here. When the thread is busy or when the thread is quiet, you post here......

You help us. We help you. And that is everything ......

Morning babes

Day 70 here today. Can't quite believe it. But thanks to you mad lot, here I am. Yet another Saturday morning without a hangover.

I'm still have strange delusional thoughts about controlled drinking and at times it's still quite tough, but nothing like the early days. I don't want to drink. I just want to "be drunk". Someone needs to invent something to remove my brain from reality. Preferably something that is like, really healthy and good for one. I've done my dash with recreational drugs and as lovely as they are, they don't really appeal anymore. I'm super old now. Super mature too.

Have a good week-end babelicious's's's
xx

Morning all.

Well done SoberSocFish 70 days is inspiring.

I have just completed 7 days and this is the first Saturday in a long time I have woken up without being hungover and tired.

My next step is to overhaul my eating as I have allowed myself to eat what I want this week.

Hope everyone has a lovely and sober Saturday.

little 7 days is amazing, sat mornings sober is a landmark, FABULOUS.

It turns out after falling off a horse hurts more on day2, I'm aching everywhere, I've lost count of AF days but now I'm counting days since "horsegate", will I be counting the days of my life forever, looks that way!!! I couldn't get my freezer door open so I yanked it from the bottom edge instead and hit myself on the head with the top corner and whacked myself on the head, saw stars for a few minutes and have an egg in my forehead so I have a stoating headache and a big egg shaped lump. WTF......

Lottery ticket tonight for sure, deserve a bit of luck.

Have a great day from an achey grumpy Baby, but hey I'm sober.. Xxxx

Thank you Baby. It feels great. This time last week i was a quivering, vomiting wreck lying on the bathroom floor. This week am up bright eyed and bushy tailed. Indeed it feels FABULOUS.

You sound like you are having a bit of a time of it right now! here's hoping that lottery ticket comes up. But NO champagne!

Sorry everyone - I am slinking back after having disappeared for awhile. I was feeling so strong and then just started to feel utterly overwhelmed by everything all at once. Was suffering from PMT (hormones play merry hell with my emotions, though I tend to forget this every single month and be surprised by it every single time, oops!). Had some massive rows with DH - was very angry with him but also with myself for being spectacularly unproductive on the work front. Had a drink the day before yesterday because I just didn't care any more. Big sigh. At least it was only one drink. Then I got back to an AA meeting and calmed down and started to get things into perspective again.

Clearly DH losing his temper with me is one of my biggest triggers. It's so hard for me not to turn straight to the bottle to numb my feelings of distress and upset. I think one problem is that there is often a grain of truth in his angry outbursts - that is, I am genuinely in the wrong in some way. But the way he lashes out at me verbally leaves me hurt and resentful for days. We're very different personality types - he loses his temper, says atrocious things and then is all sunshine a short time later. Whereas I'm the brooding, sulking type. Even if he apologises, I can't seem to let it go. We have been trying to change this dynamic for ages but it keeps coming back. Interestingly, his whole family is like him (huge rows followed by everyone going all chirpy and behaving as though nothing has happened) whereas my whole family is like me (sulking and resentful). We also spawned a DS1 who is a brooder and a DS2 who is a Jekyll/Hyde storm/sunshine type. Personality clashes are just so hard to negotiate, ugh.

So now, day 2 again. I'm sad about having managed 16 days of sobriety and being back at the start again, but as my sponsor encouragingly told me, starting all over again is not REALLY starting all over again. Those 16 days of sobriety still stand as an achievement that I hadn't managed for many, many years. So let's hope the second go is easier.

Sometime I want to talk about my mixed feelings about AA, but I don't know if this is the right place to do it.

Off now to catch up on everyone else's news! Thanks for listening, babes.

I'm not going to drink today. If I post it, it will happen. Family party - I'm driving. When DD is in bed, it's lime and soda, hot choc and early ish to bed with my book. I drank last night. I enjoyed it. I wanted to. But I need to feel I can pick and choose my drinking and non drinking days.

I've also booked pedi and eyebrow thread for tomorrow to kick start a beauty regime. Nails done and tanner applied.

Have a good day everyone. Reading this thread is very inspiring.

LOVE that tweet about Gove, margarethamilton!

Happy belated birthday, joey!

littlewhite, I'm very fond of Becks Blue. I don't consider it cheating! I enjoy the taste of hops and drank it a lot when I was pregnant. Tried alcohol-free wine, on the other hand, and found it vile. Well done to you on your 7 days!

Hugs to you, alison. Please jump back on the bus again so I don't feel alone! I'm really grateful to you for posting what you posted, because everyone's reponses to you were so uplifting, they helped me too. I must keep reading here even when I don't feel up to posting. Instead of hiding my head in the sand and avoiding everything that might potentially make me feel more anxious

ma, congrats on meeting the Downing Street cat!

Happy weekend to all and down with the WW.

littlewhitebag 7 days is fantastic. Well done. First few days are the worst.

Hello everyone, do you remember me? Brown, little furry thing, go by the name of Mouse

It's been far too long since I've read back and seen who we have onboard these days which is unforgivable, I'm sorry.

For those of you who are newer and don't know who I am, I've been in hospital with gallbladder issues (blue lighted to hospital) that have yet to be resolved and then I went on a three week physio Pain Management Programme that was already booked and a course that takes such a long which has helped me to work the way that I feel about pain inside and out.

It was a course that was driven by senior physios and those in the know about chronic pain, hydrotherapy, gentle gym workouts (which I couldn't do :( )....... but did it help us in the 3 weeks we were there?

Hell YES!!!! Because the physios told me that they believed that I AM in pain! What? Really?

I can honestly say that after three week I do feel better mentally as well as physically, which is such a relief.

Next we have my right hip joint. 'Tis fecked (technical term! ) so after speaking to various people, I'm looking at a straight swop. Old for new and all that! EEEEEKKKKK!

A friend of DH's is the same age as me and has the same thing - Subluxation - so there you go, no messing around these days. My two pelvic halves are twisted so my left leg is shorter than my right and I get dreadful cramps in my left calf.

So if they give me a new hip, with a bit of luck it will all align itself?

Right, that's me for those of you who don't me..... and a little update for those who do, so, what have I missed and how are you all?

Sorry I've not been here, I am rubbish!!! Sober, but rubbish!! xxx

littlewhitebag well done you! Have this week's special prize of a green opal fruit. They are only given out on special occasions and you are rocking babe!
mouse about bloody time you showed up.we haven't had a decent tea trolley in ages and this place is a tip.< kicks opal fruit wrappers under aliasseat>

Has anyone seen indie? If we have a babe MIA you better all buckle up while I floor this here bus to go find her.

A prize! Thank you dementedma You have no idea how much that means to me even though i prefer orange opal fruits

Now then, who would like some afternoon treats? The weather here is doing my head in. It's threatening to pour down with thunder and lightening according to the BBC weather station which is only 20 mins from here....... it's clammy and well, just weird.

In days gone by, a day like today would be a trigger for a drink to pass the time! Instead I've just dished out double chocolate ice-cream cones :) Yum!

"prefer orange Opal Fruits"

I need to eat the entire contents of mouse's tea trolley to recover from shock!

Had a massage from Derek today. Am a boneless, scented pool of dribbling mellowness. Dear God, that man should be lured onto this bus and kept captive to massage all needy babes. Thing is, we might need a Boy Babe to lure him aboard.

Hello everyone. Hey Mouse, lovely to see you!

Struggling today, I'm on the 3rd day of silent treatment from him. I saw him on Wednesday night, we were both finished early, 4pm, which is a real rarity.

I thought we'd make an evening of it but an hour after arriving at his house he fell asleep. Which is fine, I get that he was tired. What I didn't get was the icy cold treatment I got at 9pm for not waking him up. Followed by a spell of tutting and shitty looks when I wouldn't go through to bed (to sleep). I explained calmly that I wasn't tired but would be through soon enough. I didn't rise to it, because getting upset only gives him ammunition. He almost revels in the 'I'm not the one losing control' phrase when I get upset.

Every single time I ring him first when he withholds contact, because I think one of us has to be the bigger person. I said last time that I couldn't do this any more, because it's beginning to feel like a power thing on his side. He denied he does this but I can't think of another reason for him to do this. When I call he sounds all chirpy, almost like he's won something.

So it's phone him or I need a drink to dull the ache. It's been a shitty week, this wasn't what I needed this weekend and I really resent him for fucking with me yet again.

One Day I Will. That day looms ever closer ma. When did I get so fucking feeble?

Booked in for hair and nails next week. A total change, it's bra level at the moment, but I rarely have it down, it's so much easier to stick it in a pony tail. On their advice, they're going to strip the colour and make me a bit lighter, before adding highlights. This hopefully will help disguise the white roots for a bit longer. If it doesn't or if it buggers my hair I'm going for a crop and will just go grey gracefully. Or should that be reluctantly? They've said I should expect to be there for about 4.5 hours as I have very thick hair. Cut wise, I'm open to suggestions but still need to be able to put it up for work or have it much shorter. I think the colour is a big enough change for one visit. I'm practically Elvis at the minute thanks to my hair grasping thirstily at the dye like I would grasp at a lovely boragey Pimms.

Totally understand if anybody's reading this and just hearing waah, waah, waah. if I could kick my own arse, I would.

A massage sounds perfect!

Chucked diet cloudy lemonade in the trolley the other day at ALDI on a whim and not expecting much. But it's lovely!

On the plus side, I will be a redhead for about an hour. They've said it will be See You Jimmy comedy wig frizz.

I always wanted to be a redhead. More glam Mad Men than Jimmy though.

Beggars can't be choosers.

mousey-mouse lovely to see you. Any chance we could have a little salmon and cucumber sandwich with our tea?

marfisa of course It's OK to speak about your feelings about AA - it's all a part of the struggle - seeking sources of help and then having to accept their imperfections AND their goodness (this thread included) . The only thing that isn't allowed on here is anything that disses other people's way of getting sober or dealing with their drinking. SO there is some person who occasionally spams the thread with lots of anti-AA links (mostly based on American AA).

Perhaps for you, the really important 'counting' milestone is that out of the past 17 days, you were alcohol free for 16 of them. That is remarkable and no-one can change that. And if you manage another 16 days, then out of 33 days, you will have been sober for 32 of them. That's not exactly like going back to zero.

Diet cloudy lemonade sounds lovely, Margaret.

ma Derek sounds like a national treasure. Boneless and mellow eh?

I'm just spineless and bitter. I wonder if the therapist would have time to give me a massage before my hair....

wry is the tiny violin to accompany the "waah, waah"?

Seriously though, don't let HIM cause you to do anything - either phoning him, or having a drink - just put all thoughts of him quietly in a cupboard and get on with being happy and sober. You can be sure that whenever you go and peek in the cupboard all those angry / pissed off feelings will still be there, so you don't have to be worried about losing them. You can safely leave them until later.

The old wine witch is very devious. Maybe she's whispering that you can be angry with him, have a drink to soothe your anger, and it will be HIS fault, not yours. You can be free of all self-recrimination. Except you won't. The 'real' you, will know with even the first sip, that you are having a drink because you want to, not because he's making you.

So either do it because you acknowledge you want to. Or don't do it at all. Guess which one I'd recommend

wry one day you will.
As in one day I will. When you are ready and strong enough, you will. And so will I.

Hang tough hen.

Right, as no-one has heard from indie I am about to sound the klaxon for a lost babe and put Gerald on red alert. Strap yourselves in, we have a babe down.

Hello babes,
I used to post under another name - Pink - it's been a long time since I have posted and since I gained so much support from the fab bus.
At the end of this month I will chalk up 9 months AF. It still feels amazing when I think about it but it also feels so normal now. The days of waking up and thinking 'oh no', those hours of insomnia between 1-4am, the vague sickness that lasted till lunch time, the nagging feeling of needing to sort out my drinking that was with me a lot of the time.....all gone.
I did miss it (booze) but not for the last six months at least and it has become my new normal not to drink. I have had some amazing times since being AF. I've lost 3.5 stone, taken up exercise. I finally feel 'present and correct.'
Anyway I just wanted to check in and say hello after so long as I saw the bus in active convos, I have been meaning to say thank you again for a while so I seized the moment!
Love to each and every babe, I'm sorry I don't have time to read back through and catch up on where everyone is at but I think of you all xx

pink ! How fab to see you again.
Bloody well done you