signs of something suspicious or my own paranoia?

[sprite25]

Me and DH have issues, it's a long story. Today we go out as its pissing down he puts his phone in my bag or it gets wet in his pocket. I (innocently) see a new txt from a number not a name saying 'but I do worry about you, your my bestie xxx' I know calling someone your bestie mean best friend but I know his best friend and he would never put x's at the end. When we got home DH took his phone into bathroom when he had a shower (which he NEVER does) and then when I quickly looked again it had gone. Usually if he has a txt or call from just a number he will ask if I know the number in case it's someone we know if not he will delete it. Do you think it's suspicious or just a wrong number maybe?

Yes highly suspicious, who takes their mob into the bathroom???

He's hiding whoever it is from you.

This is what I thought as usually as soon as he gets in he puts his keys, wallet and phone on the side. Since he took his phone in there he has seemed in a good mood too (not exactly evidence I know) I'm now thinking that he took it in there to txt back and then maybe deleted it?

I would be suspicious. There's no need ever to take your phone into the shower. It certainly sounds like the start of something. I personally would get the number out of his phone and ring it to find out who it was.

Yes I think it's suspicious. Swipe his phone when he's not looking, hide it really well and see how frantic he is when he can't find it.

When I saw it something in my gut told me to write the number down but in my head I thought it's probably just a wrong number. Now the txt has been deleted so unless I see another txt before he gets to delete it again I can't know. As you all say why take his phone into the bathroom this one and only time when he left all his other stuff in the usual place.

Does he get phone bills ? Do not arouse any suspicion at this point.

Keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open, good luck

Hmmm, something is afoot. They are only on 'bestie' terms at the moment so you have a chance to nip it in the bud if you confront now. What do you feel you should do?

He doesn't get phone bills so no chance there. I feel sick at the thought that if I go out while he's looking after DD that he could be texting someone else

He obviously is texting someone else-but who it is and what he is saying is really what you don't know.

Why don't you ask hi who his "bestie" is and see how he answers.??

blizzard I don't know, it could be perfectly innocent so what would I say? I saw a txt on your phone who was it? I would look like I'd been snooping

But you were not snooping, you saw the message when he asked you to put his phone in your bag.
How he answers that question will reveal a lot.

I'd just ask him about it.

(That would be a follow on from 'Anyway, don't worry about me'. Sounds like a long conversation whoever was having it.)

Without knowing a little more about the issues it's hard to say more but if they involve trust he got you to carry his phone so maybe his conscience was clear.

You could kiss him goodbye when you go out and say "Right off to see my 'bestie"'!" see what response if any that provokes.

If I saw a message like that on my husband's phone I would just ask him about it. Why can't you?

Why put yourself through the stress of thinking the worst and acting like you don't know anything? I would mention that you saw it innocently and see what he says. It's not like you were snooping, and even if you were you have enough reason to question it.

It might be purely innocent and you're winding yourself up about nothing x

I take my phone into the bathroom, as does my DD and DH. However I'd be concerned at a change of habit. I'd also be concerned if he doesn't normally delete texts.

What the previous poster said.

But

Is there a back story to your relationship op?

Why would someone 'worry' about him? Could it be a work issue, from a colleague at work?
Does he have sisters ? Could it be a family issue?

Even if it was innocent surely he could just lie? I know it sounds like I don't trust him AT ALL from that but I know not that long ago that he looked through my phone and kept questioning who I was texting which I wondered if it was cos he had something to hide and even though I knew he had done it he lied and swore he hadn't. I know he will think I was snooping and will get angry, but the only reason I saw it is cos he has a Sony experia and if you get a new message it scrolls along the top of the screen even if it's on the locked screen.I really don't know what to do :-S

Reason why is because us siblings tend to send many texts that end with heaps of xxxx's and I love you's, don't know what I'd do without you kind of thing, and siblings sometimes change numbers like a normal person would change underwear ! (And I don't always save them so shows up as unnamed number)

It could be innocent it as another
person said keep your mouth shut and your eyes and ears open.

Of course it might be nothing but the biggest mistake some women make is asking questions like that which can be lied about and then they are left never knowing or finding out the truth ages later (there's a post like this at the moment).

Whilst he thinks you're unaware he won't be extra cautious and IF there is something going on you are in a better position to find out.

Good luck

He has no contact with his brother and hardly any with his parents. Like someone said it's the change of habit I find strange, and no he doesn't usually delete texts.

I speak from bitter experience. If you get a funny feeling that something is going on then it generally is. That is what happens when you are married to someone. When set down in black and white, the evidence of one text may not seem to amount to much and to have a number of perfectly reasonable explanations. But you are the wife here and you should trust your instincts.

Snooping is horrid because it makes an entirely innocent person (you) feel sleazy and disrespectful but you are going to have to do it. If it turns out that you were 100% entirely mistaken then own up to what you have done. A decent husband will understand, be sympathetic to your anxieties and want to help make you feel less vulnerable.

The advice about being sure before you confront him (if it comes to that) is sound. If you are fobbed off angrily with some lie or half truth you will feel even worse and be further away from knowing what is actually going on.

Simply keep a quiet eye on the phone over the next week or so. If possible get the number and take it from there . If you say anything he will only go underground with it and a horrible game of cat and mouse will play out.

The thing is , what will you do if he is ?

not that long ago that he looked through my phone and kept questioning who I was texting which I wondered if it was cos he had something to hide and even though I knew he had done it he lied and swore he hadn't.

That sounds fishy. Projecting?