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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

signs of something suspicious or my own paranoia?

78 replies

sprite25 · 04/06/2014 16:32

Me and DH have issues, it's a long story. Today we go out as its pissing down he puts his phone in my bag or it gets wet in his pocket. I (innocently) see a new txt from a number not a name saying 'but I do worry about you, your my bestie xxx' I know calling someone your bestie mean best friend but I know his best friend and he would never put x's at the end. When we got home DH took his phone into bathroom when he had a shower (which he NEVER does) and then when I quickly looked again it had gone. Usually if he has a txt or call from just a number he will ask if I know the number in case it's someone we know if not he will delete it. Do you think it's suspicious or just a wrong number maybe?

OP posts:
Jan45 · 05/06/2014 14:50

When we got home DH took his phone into bathroom when he had a shower (which he NEVER does) and then when I quickly looked again it had gone.

Point is the OPs OH never does, funny how quickly the text got deleted huh.

Not saying anything is going on but regardless, it looks odd.

sprite25 · 05/06/2014 14:50

I will keep an eye on the phone but is all of this really enough to suspect that he might be getting close to someone else? Bare in mind that I know the passwords to his FB and email accounts (not that he knows that)

OP posts:
Worldofjumblesales · 05/06/2014 14:55

I know from my own experience I have received texts which were sent to me by mistake. I deleted them just because I don't like stuff like that clogging up my phone. But this does happen very rarely, maybe a text or two per year. If it was me I would not be suspicious unless it seems to start happening on a regular basis.

Sassyb0703 · 05/06/2014 14:58

As it happens I got a text this morning, very flirty , thanking me for yesterday and hoping I enjoyed the wine yesterday...! unfortunately I was at work yesterday and have no idea who sent the message...So I replied, incase the intended recipient would have liked the message...explaining the mistake. So it does happen quite innocently and the message I got was a lot more suggestive than 'bestie'...Shock Shock ps. haven't told my husband, just didn't see the need. Is it not possible that your DH is completely innocent ?

sprite25 · 05/06/2014 15:37

sassy although I've obviously questioned it (hence the op) but I think this is probably what happened. He received a txt by mistake and didn't see the need to mention it. I've had plenty of texts and calls over the years from wrong numbers so I know it does happen I guess it's brought to light the underlying problems we already have though

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Fermin · 05/06/2014 16:26

There's something a bit fishy about the content of the text. It doesn't just sound like it was a one off text which would make the wrong number theory a bit more believable. It sounds more like it was a reply to an active message conversation. It's a bit unusual to hit reply to a wrong number if you look at it from that angle...

Kelly1814 · 05/06/2014 16:29

This stinks to high heaven. Keep quiet from now on and watch him like a hawk. Totally check his phone when he's in the shower.

sprite25 · 05/06/2014 16:32

He replied to ask who it was, when they said he told them it was the wrong number then deleted it. I do agree that it seems odd that someone would txt their 'bestie' and get the number wrong as you would have their details already saved in your phone

OP posts:
Jan45 · 05/06/2014 16:33

Fermin, of course, now you say it, this is a text from an existing conversation isn't it.

Fermin · 05/06/2014 16:38

The text you said you saw was 'but I do worry about you, your my bestie xxx' that suggests it was a reply to a text from the 'bestie' who might have said something along the lines of 'don't worry about me' etc. Why would that reply to the 'bestie' have gone to a wrong number (your DH)?

hellsbellsmelons · 05/06/2014 16:42

Definitely keep your eyes and ears open.
It could be very early stages and this has spooked him so it will stop.
But seriously!? How is that message a wrong number?
As PPs have said, it's mid conversation, you hit reply.
He's giving you a whole heap of BS and you know it.
I know it's not the done thing, but I'd be checking FB and email if I had the passwords.

hellsbellsmelons · 05/06/2014 16:46

If he's changed those - then you have your answer!

Jan45 · 05/06/2014 16:47

Spot on Fermin, it can't possibly be a wrong no. That and the sudden possessiveness around his phone says it all.

Worldofjumblesales · 05/06/2014 16:50

I have to say that there is nothing I have read here which gives a strong feeling that there has been any wrong-doing. One text, from a number with no name specified. Is it possible whoever sent it had recently entered the number of the intended recipient into their phone,but typo'd it?

Jan45 · 05/06/2014 16:53

Sprite, you've posted 3 times before about this man, not looking good at all.

Porn, prostitutes, reservations
planning to LTB (hand holding pls)
When did you know it was over

BuzzardBird · 05/06/2014 17:23

Based on what Jan claims, this has to be the tip of the iceberg surely? Shock

lazydog · 05/06/2014 17:26

Agree with all who have said that this was not a "wrong number". It was so clearly a reply, not a stand alone message... :(

BuzzardBird · 05/06/2014 17:26

Whoa! I think you have mis-understood Jan, Sprite has 'commented' on those threads, she didn't 'start' them.

lazydog · 05/06/2014 17:29

Jan45 To be fair, those were 3 threads the OP posted replies on, not ones she started about her own DH...

lazydog · 05/06/2014 17:30

x-posted with BuzzardBird, sorry!

Jan45 · 05/06/2014 17:31

APOLOGIES: sprite25's most recent posts - I took as meaning she started the posts, sorry OP!

Tellanovella · 05/06/2014 17:37

He said things weren't good between you both.
Hmmm....

Redglitter · 05/06/2014 19:02

Ok another scenario. I was having a conversation with a friend today. We use What's App. The 4G signal at my work kept dropping. Our conversation went rather randomly between text messages and wa.

In effect the first message he sent me this afternoon as a text was in reply to a comment I made on What's App.

So there can be innocent explanations.

I think the main thing is the op believes his explanation.

sprite25 · 05/06/2014 19:56

It's not that I 100% blindly believe him (not that I have any reason not to) but I just don't know if it's enough for me to think the worst. Like I say if I know him at all I don't think he would do something like it. But I know that's what the gf's/wives of cheaters probably thought too. I'm not being naive, but I'm not gonna jump into the deep end over something so little.

OP posts:
sprite25 · 06/06/2014 07:48

No emails, nothing on FB, no calls no more texts. What now?

OP posts: