Is it normal to be attracted to someone 40 years older than you?

[ines123]

Just wondering if you think it is possible or am I just weird?

[LettertoHerms]

I would run away with David Bowie tomorrow if the opportunity presented itself. (As I often like to imagine!)

A few other older celeb crushes too. But in general I wouldn't be attracted to men 40 years older, I would think of them as grandfathers.

I do like them a bit older though... DP and I have 14 years' difference. OP if you're asking for yourself, well, no one else can dictate what you are attracted to. I might judge the man attracted to the 40 years younger woman more though, seems weird to me he could get past thinking of her as young enough to be his child or even grandchild.

[JohnFarleysRuskin]

There's 40 years older than you when you're 25 and there's 40 years older when you're 45.

I would think a roll in the hay with most 85 yr olds would be problematic. According to my dad, 81, he has had zero interest for about five years. "tmi daaaaad!"

[ines123]

Yes, LettertoHerms, I am slightly wondering why this guy might be interested in me, as we haven't spoken that much yet so he can't be entirely aware of how interesting and captivating I am :) I also think I look somewhat younger than I am, while he doesn't, so a bit suspicious there...

I am 38, he is 78. He seems athletic for his age, and I suspect he is physically fit.

I would never have thought it was possible to feel like this about someone that much older, but I guess all it takes is the right person.

Maybe I would be his last hurrah for a roll in the hay ;)

[DistanceCall]

I spent my holidays in a rural house some time ago. While waiting for a bus, a man in his 90s asked me (I was in my mid-30s) if I would mind his touching my breasts. When I said that yes, actually, I would mind, and why didn't he ask his wife, he said that his wife had refused to have sex for years. He added that he would go to the village prostitute, but he had to take the bus back from the market and the prostitute was in demand, so there was no time.

And apparently there was quite a lot of rolling in the hay going on, yes.

[DistanceCall]

And I'm happily partnered up, but otherwise I would happily have a roll in the hay with Leonard Cohen :)

[hellymelly]

David Bowie? Oh yes. He isn't in his 70s though is he?
Anyway op, I remembered a crush I had in my early 30s. On a man in his early 60s probably. I was working in an antique shop - no sniggering at the back please-doing bits of restoration -titter ye not- and helping run the shop. He came in several times to buy chandeliers. . He had such beautiful manners, and was so charming and interesting. He drove an Austin 7. . If he'd asked me out on a date I would have definitely gone. But he never did (I think he was probably married), and then I left the shop and never saw him again.
DH is 8 years younger than me, that brought its own problems (it is the sole reason I didn't have children until my 40s). But you fall in love with the person, and the age isn't really a factor.
So I say, Go roll in the hay, lady.

[Maisie0]

Infatuation, lust, or love ?

You can admire someone, find them interesting, but you need to ask yourself if that person is representing something that you want for yourself, and not because you love this other person to be so.

[Darkesteyes]

Maisie said "walking frame snatching is just not on"

a. I think you are exaggerating.
b. If you were on this thread treating gay relationships or interracial relationships with such derision there would be a massive outcry and rightly so.
But I also don't see why age gap relationships get to be the safe prejudice.

[ProfPlump]

Only read the OP but the answer is easy:

"It depends how rich he is"

[ProfPlump]

BTW isn't it a recognised thing if you fancy old people in general rather than just one in particular? Gerontophilia.

[Lweji]

I think it's easy to understand why he'd be interested in you.

If you are interested in him, you'll have to figure out if he's interested for the right reasons.

[madcatlady88]

Aged 18 I had an 18 month on-off relationship with a man aged 53. At the time I think I was looking for a bit of a father figure. He wasn't particularly attractive, rich or have anything special about him. With hindsight I can't really see what I found attractive about him...but I guess that's the peculiarity of attraction you can't really rationalise who you are attracted to.