Think new guy is lying....

[heyho1919]

I've had 3 dates with a guy i met through online dating. We were in touch a few months ago and he suggested meeting, but then contact stopped until a couple of weeks ago. He said that he'd had problems accessing the site. I'd assumed he must have met someone else and it hadn;t worked which was why he was back in touch. However he insisted that his contact stoped due to the site issue. However based on some things he's said and a couple of things I've found out, i seems he was seeing someone else. He mentioned he'd seen one other person from the site, said he'd only met her an "handful" of times, then he dropped into a conversation that some of his friends weren't keen on her so guess they must have seen eachother for a while. I've also seen a pic of her on his facebook with her daughter. Sounds like he was seeing her for a while. If he's been honest I wouldn't have been in the slightest bit bothered, it's the lie that's bothering me. Such a shame s he seemed really nice other than that. Any thoughts?

A liar is a liar. It's such a thick thing to do, to nuke any chance of a relationship, but at least you found out before you'd invested anything.

Throw him back into the pond and wait for someone better to come along.

Yup - liar liar liar.

Just ditch IMMEDIATELY. Don't get invested. Not worth the risk.

Silly man...

Sorry if He can't be honest about this then he seems very dubious. If he had told you he wanted to see someone else and then came back later and siad he had made a mistake then he might be in a position to ask you back out but as is, its time for you to ignore him!

To be honest if he is lying at the outset of your relationship, he is the sort that will do it habitually. Tell him you know he's lying and that you can't go out with a liar.

I'm sure you're all right. I feel such a fool - i really liked him and fancied him (i don't usually feel much for any of the many guys i've met online!) and feel so annyed with myself as i shared alot of info with him on our last date and we slept together too. I wonder if it's worth just confronting him about it to see his reaction?..

I'm sure you're all right. I feel such a fool - i really liked him and fancied him (i don't usually feel much for any of the many guys i've met online!) and feel so annyed with myself as i shared alot of info with him on our last date and we slept together too. I wonder if it's worth just confronting him about it to see his reaction?..

The other thing is (which made me like him even more) is that he hasn't been on the site since seeing me. This is so hard :(

The other thing is (which made me like him even more) is that he hasn't been on the site since seeing me. This is so hard :(

I did care until i realised he must be lying. I asked him a few questions about when/how many times he'd seem this woman, and the more i asked the more evasive he got and he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore..

Sorry Broken hearted I'm confused. He hasnt broken up with me. We chatted online a few months ago, only a few messages, then he suggested meeting but then disappeared. He got back in touch with me about 3 weeks ago. We've had 3 dates

Anyone else got any thoughts on this?

I'm not actually bothered that he met someone else. What's bothering me is that fact he lied about it. I even said to him that i know how online dating works and had just made the acssumption he'd met someone else. If he lies about this, it worries me what other lies he'll tell

What he did online before he met you doesn't count. Just be a bit watchful.

I agree that what he did online before we met doesn't matter. I've seen lots of people and was quite open with him about it. I just don't see the need to lie..

I've seen lots of people and was quite open with him about it. I just don't see the need to lie..

Exactly. There's no need, especially if you set the scene by being completely upfront yourself - he can't have thought that you'd flounce at the idea he'd been seeing someone else.

No. I'm afraid that the only reason to lie is because he's a guy who lies. You see lying as something big, something really not good. He doesn't. It was easier to lie to you than to explain something complicated/embarrassing/made him sound bad.

That's a big red flag. Don't go there.

Thanks Bruno. Yes lying is a big deal to me - it's one of the main reasons that i left my xh.
it worries me that this guy knows where i live and that i shared a lot of personal info with him - it all felt so right with him until i realised he must be lying. I'm worried about how to tell him i don;t want to see him again.

I don't think I'd worry too much about this lie. He must want to see you again if he has made contact. I'd just take it one step at a time and wouldn't make a huge deal about accusing him of being a liar and demanding an explanation. After all you had only three dates with him. If you don't want to see him then don't.

Thanks for all these responses. I've been lying awake worrying about it

Thanks for all the responses. I'm 99.9% certain i won't see him again. Just have a doubt that i may be going ott as he seemed so nice. However to feel like this after only 3 dates isn't good. If only he could have been truthful - I wouldn't have cared that he'd been seeing someone else!!