Being DRY

[Bigglesfliesundone]

This is the fourth thread for those of us who want to abstain from alcohol completely.

It's an arduous path at times, but we're still here!

We know how easy it is to slip, and how hard it can be to stay on the road, but we also know that we can't drink 'just one'.

The thread motto is 'Watch the film to the end'

Come and have a coffee!

thanks Lucy. It looks wonderful.

It is :) She's a great writer.

Awww, you guys! Are you my slew of new commenters? Welcome, if so. I honestly don't hang out on this thread to feed traffic there, but I'm glad if you enjoy any of it. I shamelessly ripped off the fairy-lights idea from this thread, to be honest.

Lucy writes A Hangover Free Life, incidentally: ahangoverfreelife.com

EndingtheCharade I have no idea what it is about this book group, except that I came into it late and all the other women are friends from the school gate. A different school than my DD attends. A private school, to be precise. So I'm bringing all sorts of crap to that interaction.

Morning all.

Had a lovely evening last night- packed dinner up and went to our local park. It felt blissful. To just sit for an hour or so, and not be clock watching because I wanted to get home to start drinking.

I am loving both lucy and Tortoises blogs. I am getting a bit addicted to sober blogs really!

So much to read from yesterday! I am also loving loving loving this thread. :)

Thanks Tortoise & CornChips :) Like Tortoise I'm not here to promote my blog but support others who share the journey with me. I read sober blogs ALOT and have done ever since I stopped drinking. I'm beginning to wonder if I've developed a cross addiction!

ooooh! more sober blogs- I'll happily check out your blog too lucy
Sober blogs are wonderful,they can speak to you in ways in which aa or the sobersphere can't. I think that may because I can identify with the women who write them or they are more immediate or wider in scope than a single meeting or thread. Not sure- but they are helping! Keep writing please.

Thanks guggenheim :) I love the sobersphere too but find the banter of a thread gives me something I don't get anywhere else (or that's the experience here anyway!) Been writing my blog daily since I stopped and haven't run out of things to say yet!

Hello all, the sober blogs are brilliant, I am clinging to them a bit at the minute as for some reason I am pretty grumpy today. I got my 3 month chip today and I should be happy but for some reason I am really angry at it. It sort of represents the fact that I can't drink. I need to change my language and instead if saying 'cant' I should say 'don't want to'. Sorry for whinging, I hope you are all doing well.

kate well done on your 3 month chip! That is an achievement to be celebrated. Sorry you are feeling blue. It sounds trite, but is there something 'treat-y' you can plan for this week? Something that is a bit special?

I am okay. I found last night hard so went to bed at 8, but I was up this morning at 4.30 and getting ahead on work e-mails. Yay me! (I am pleased actually).

I am hoping the day stays lovely. Thinking of picking DS up from school and driving to a beach about an hour from here for a fish and chip supper. Another thing I never did last summer, as the beach seemed too far away, and of course I had some drinking to fit in. I really felt last year that I wasted the gorgeous weather. I was depressed and drinking too much. DS spent alot of the summer in front of the tv. Dear God, never again.

Corn, that sounds lovely, what a treat! I feel much better today, went for a morning run and booked a pedicure as a treat. Sometimes it is hard but it has to be better than doing what I was. Onwards!

Pedicure sounds great kate!

Well, we did the beach thing and it was lovely but oh heavens I am knackered! For the first hour or so DS did not want to go near the water, but when I decided it was time to go home he suddenly tore off all his clothes and went 'swimming' (aka paddling). So we have only been home for an hour or so and I am shattered. I was so tempted to pour a glass of red after I got him to bed and sit outside, but told myself to have a cup of tea and then review. I am fine now. On the second cup and feeling a bit relieved I got through it.

I know that not drinking is better than drinking can ever be, but it was hard to recall that today.

Hope everyone is fine this evening. :) See you tomorrow.

Fine here! But my blog exploded this week thanks to Mumsnet tweeting a link to a post, which is great except that then my husband picked it up and read it. And I ... wasn't quite ready for that. He's only read a couple of posts, it seems. But now I'm going through the whole thing and taking down posts. Which sucks.

Oh no Tortoise. That is tricky. That is exactly the kind of thing I struggle with.

Is Sorcha around?

cornchips well done
and everyone else!

Ouch Tortoise.

I sometimes forget that we are not just chatting between ourselves but that the internet is - well- open.

Hope you are okay.

Fine, thank you! He read a few posts, has agreed not to read more. I took down a couple of the rawest posts anyway, but hopefully can keep posting. An audience is great! Love an audience. But not dh, I don't want him knowing all the sordid details. I'm working through the feelings.

Tortoise I read your post this morning before work and admire your honesty at the end. I'm sorry you had to take some posts down but hopefully in time you can put them back up :)

Morning all

Hope you are all well.

Sorcha sorry to hear you've been struggling. You've done so well; you mustn't let a blip detract you from your success and strength. You've been going through a difficult time and it's hardly surprising that your sobriety took a back seat for a bit. You must look after yourself and focus on the positives: you can kick alcohol out of your life. Don't let it edge its way in again. We are all here to support you.

Welcome to newcomers.

I'm good. Reached my 100 days on Tuesday, despite constantly dreaming that I've picked up a drink. Running regularly so feeling fit and healthy. Feeling thankful for all the good things in my life and really enjoying my family. I've even done a bit of gardening too. For someone who really struggled with the guilt about the 'badness' of drinking too much, and the subsequent shame of feeling like a worthless piece of crap, partaking in 'wholesome' activities like exercise, reading, gardening, playing with DC etc is really helping to rebuild my self esteem. I like it, and I kind being the sort of person who does these things.

Tortoise I wish I'd read your blog from the start as I think we both stopped at a similar time (beginning of March). Your life sound very similar to mine (mid thirties, 2 DC) and much of what you write is so uncannily resonant.

Right. Run time. Have a good weekend.

Good to hear from you all.

I am struggling with my mood especially at the weekends which is when I would drink. I have stopped for 2 weeks tomorrow and have also started weightwatchers (though don't go to get weighed). I have therefore cut out all pleasurable things and feel I have nothing to look forward to and yet need to lose weight so much for my self esteem (I am a large size 12). I have not lost ANYTHING in 12 days despite objectively sticking perfectly to the plan. It is horribly demoralising.

Last night was a lovely summer's evening, and all I could do was curl up in our bedroom and read (albeit with a lovely country view). This when DH and I would have drank on the verandah (dahling...) or listened to music in the kitchen.
I went to bed at 9pm and felt I had been churlish with him and the rest of the family too. (DD1 really felt it and asked me why I was acting odd, she is the one with Asperger's and CANNOT cope with my drunk behaviour but also needs constant reassurance from me. One minute I feel I cannot drunk in front of her and the next I feel I cannot be sober in front of her.

Has anyone read the article in the Guardian Review this morning on Women writers and alcohol? It is quite interesting.

I have just finished the Jason Vale Book. I have found it rather depressing, not the 'epiphany' it promised. Maybe I did not 'open my mind enough...maybe I was too sceptical...being a medic I am hardwired to question. But it was too simplistic and reliant on 'brainwashing' for me. Many of the metaphors simply did not work for me although there was a lot of sense written too.

I am seeking something to enjoy and really struggling. I don't know what to do, there seems to be nothing, just nothing left to enjoy. I'm worried I could be slipping.
Good luck to all of you. I enjoyed your blog Tortoise.
How are you Sorcha?
Does anyone remember HumOlive from the 1st thread? I thought she was lovely.

Ending firstly congrats on 2 weeks tomorrow! :) Wow giving up booze and starting Weightwatchers at the same time sounds really hard on yourself. Would it be easier if you tackled them one at a time?

Thanks for Guardian review article mention - will give it a read later.

Ending TWO WEEKS IS AMAZING!!
I still havn't managed two weeks without blip.
Don't take this the wrong way, but...Weightwatchers? No?! Are you mad woman??!!
A large sixe 12? Pfftt. My left buttock is a large size 12, all on it's own.
We must replace booze with real, wholesome, life affirming activities, at some point. Mistress Pemberley has shown us that it can be done, but right now, two weeks in, it is also totally acceptable to replace booze with cheescake.
Please be kind to yourself.

Now, I meant, not No!

Ending, 2 weeks is brilliant, well done! Are you treating / rewarding yourself? That is important to do.

YY to the treating. I bought myself a spotty picnic blanket and had the thought in my head that this was my treat. It helps.

Ending you are doing so well. I have joined ww too- am a size 14 and barely 5 ft. I agree though that 2 weeks in replacing booze with cheesecake is perfectly acceptable!

I am okay. I bought a rose and pomegranate cordial from waitrose that I had with sparkling water with fresh mint today and had it in a wine glass. That made me feel less deprived- we had a BBQ and there was white wine.

Hope everyone is well.

Charade, agree with everyone else; concentrate on the sobriety for now, weight can come next. I didn't start dieting until I hit about 80 days. It comes off fast when you're ready. But for now, think of yourself as an invalid, and let yourself have the things you need to get you through. You're doing something hard.

Also, I hated Jason vale, you're not alone.

MistressP, 100 days! You're about a week ahead of me. Well done you/us.

Rose and pomegranate sounds amaaaaaazing. I wish I had those sorts of things around here.

Thank you to you all for your messages of support. I had a choc ice and a cold sausage and felt MUCH better after that!
SundayMorningYou made me laugh...

Yes, I will be easier on myself, I think. Off to the surgery to open up for replastering today, then back later to clean up so everything is ship shape for tomorrow.

Tortoise I glad Jason Vale didn't do it for you either. I'm taking your advice and ordering 'Dry'.

CornChips BBQ and white wine?? Goodness well done for sticking to the pomegranate..that is seriously admirable!

I have a 'film night on Wed here as we have a projector and a large wall and the book group is coming round. I am going to have to get wine in. I am dreading it. I have asked DH to stay near and get rid of all of it at the end into the boot of his car.
I will have to fill up on stodgy food first, I think (that usually does the trick). The film is 'Disconnect' Anyone seen it? It is raw, beautiful with an awesome soundtrack
Thanks again to you all
Have a lovely Sunday
Am thinking of you .You all give me a lot of support. I am so grateful.