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Original poster

Husband says he doesn't love me anymore

509 replies

MissPennySweet · 10/05/2014 09:22

Three weeks ago my husband turned round out of nowhere and told me he didn't love me in a romantic way anymore (in the middle of an argument). This quite frankly knocked me for shit and ashamedly I asked him to stay and promised we could work on things (with a lot of tears). He agreed to stay and despite going back to relatively normal I can't shake the feeling that he's only with me out of pity. He's since said he does love me but he's stressed with work, but now I feel like an utter fool for staying with someone who doesn't feel the same about me.

Should I leave or do you think it was a momentary blip and he really does love me - he is usually an extremely loving and attentive man and I've never had any doubts before! We don't have DC.

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 14/05/2014 18:20

Gosh, that's bad luck. I thought when you said you'd been in separate bedrooms for the last three weeks that you weren't sleeping together.

AMillionNameChangesLater · 14/05/2014 18:21

Good luck tomorrow

LavenderGreen14 · 14/05/2014 18:28

So you would have been on day 11/12 of your cycle so potentially fertile if you have a 28 day cycle?

Good luck with solicitor tomorrow.

Minion100 · 14/05/2014 18:28

You might find it helps to rant on here...feel free to let it out. We're all on team Penny here

skyeskyeskye · 14/05/2014 18:39

Have just read hole thread, so sorry that you are in this situation. I also had the shock I don't love you any more speech, 2 years ago, he was texting OW. I divorced him within 7 months due to the support I had on here.

You have had some great advice so far. I hope you get on ok at the GP, I also had that fear when XH left but thankfully wasn't, so understand how you feel.

You are being very strong. Get some great legal advice about the house so you know where you stand and don't take any more bullshit from your H.

Original poster
MissPennySweet · 14/05/2014 18:45

We were separate bedrooms but had a drunk shag (and then argued) on Thursday night. I'm dead on a 27/28 day cycle, SHIT. Is cycle day 1 the day you start or finish your period?

OP posts:
BlondePieceOffFluff · 14/05/2014 18:57

Cycle day one is the first day of your period/the day your period start.

OneStepForwardTwoBack · 14/05/2014 18:58

From memory, I think it's day 1. Honestly, I really do think he's lying. Remember you hadn't found out anything at that stage. He would have probably said, shit and panicked and insisted you go for morning after pill. You knew nothing at that stage. It's funny how he's suddenly remembered now that you are having none of his nonsense. He will probably turn nasty next. Stay strong.

LiberalLibertine · 14/05/2014 19:05
BlondePieceOffFluff · 14/05/2014 19:24

Some tests (Clear Blue for one) can be used from five days before your expected period, with increased accuracy until 99% on the day of expected period.

But as some said above, whether you are pregnant or not does not change by talking to him. So to protect yourself you may do well tell him that you will let him know once you've had the test and until then you do not want to hear from him. Did he have any explanation as to why he failed to mention this when it happened? Surely it must be a lie.

Another thing, I don't know where you stand on this issue, but if you are pregnant, then it is your body and your choice whether you want to go through with it or not. And if you decide to not go through with it, I'm not even sure you owe him to let him know that you are/were pregnant?

allisgood1 · 14/05/2014 19:34

How long are your periods? CD1 is the first day of your period. But if your periods are short (3 days) then you're fine. I personally think he's said it to get you to talk to him though. Bastard.

flipflop100 · 14/05/2014 19:57

This awful time will pass eventually & u will be happy again.

I'm posting because I'm concerned that by communicating with you he's trying to weasel his way back into your house to pick up documents or things related to anything else secretive he has been doing.

He clearly has no respect for you whatsoever, I'm so sorry.

SuffolkNWhat · 14/05/2014 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VenusDeWillendorf · 14/05/2014 21:10

The split condom is a red herring to make her feel attached to him - "how can you split up with me, you're carrying my child" shite.

To me it indicates that he is an even bigger manipulator and even more cruel than we had previously heard.
This is a new low from this guy. He really is awful.

Penny, you must get a sti appointment, with your GP or gum clinic, ASAP. Even with a condom in perfect order, he can give you a sexually transmitted disease like herpes, crabs, or even HIV if any semen got anywhere near you as it might have if he was drunk and not using the condom perfectly.
Who knows how many people he's been dipping his wick into, apart from the 18 year old.

Keep strong, and ignore the condom/ pregnancy ruse, it's a calculated move on his part to keep you attached to him, and engaged in conversation.

He's very stupid isn't he? Exposing you to whatever STDs he's picked up on his philandering way is hardly likely to make you want to be with him, is it?

Stay strong.

Original poster
MissPennySweet · 14/05/2014 21:36

When is the earliest I can take a test? He wants to meet on Sunday to do one because he "wants to be there" :s

OP posts:
FantasticButtocks · 14/05/2014 21:38

Never mind what he wants. What do you want?

NettleTea · 14/05/2014 21:39

tell him to fuck off

nespressofan · 14/05/2014 21:40

tell him to fuck off - tosser

Annarose2014 · 14/05/2014 21:41

He wants to be there??????????

He can FUCK OFF!!!! Angry

Only1scoop · 14/05/2014 21:42

Oh please see through this Op....

He is pathetic....

LiberalLibertine · 14/05/2014 21:43

Tell him your not doing one yet, you're going to get tested for the myriad of stds he's possibly passed your way first, that will shut him up, hopefully.

Original poster
MissPennySweet · 14/05/2014 21:43

I just want all this to go away :(

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 14/05/2014 21:44

I just wonder what his next ploy will be when this one doesn't work....
Brace yourself.

So glad you seeing Solicitor tmrw....you will feel stronger when you have the facts.

nespressofan · 14/05/2014 21:44

Try going no contact for a week or so. You will see things differently then. Keep strong.

LittleBrassPig · 14/05/2014 21:45

Tell him to fuck off. If he had an OW and was planning to walk away from you he would've shit himself had the condom really split. He'd have been looking at 18 years of maintenance payments. Really, please just tell him to do one.