The Dating Thread 74.

[MadeMan]

Hello and welcome.

Isn't there that med you can buy that stops the snotty mucus? Can't remember what it's called.

Maisie You're more than welcome.

Handful How strange, the guy I am chatting too is only a couple of miles away from me. We're not watching tv together apart though.

I think there is Rummikub. I am going to have to get some supplies I think. With the cold and cough I feel like death warmed up. There is no way I am going to allow a new man to see me like this. He would run like hell and with good reason!

Get lots then!

dreaming - you could get 'Man Flu', it is quite strong and might just get you through.

It's really strange to be text-dating someone who lives down the road.

So I went out with MrGolf the other night, you might remember I was confused about him not initiating any kissing or anything. It was date number 6 and was the best one so far. I took the initiative and linked arms with him as we were walking which led to holding hands and kissing. He wanted to come back to mine but couldn't because of work but he suggested coming over tonight and Monday and staying. He also suggested that we were 'seeing each other' whatever that means.
Then last night I get a text saying he's not ready for a relationship and would only be wasting my time!
I'm just so confused as he was the one to always suggest the dates and he wasn't getting any sex out of it so far. Why do they always turn out to be the same? I made the mistake of just focussing on one guy instead of keeping my options open.

Turndouttoes

I have no idea what seeing each other means either I've had that comment as well.
Maybe he got a case of the wobbles have you spoken to him since , how do you think he feel about you?
I had same situation recently.

Why is this playing it cool so difficult

Mr IT got family down this weekend , off to London on Sunday then work so earliest I could see him is Thursday, but I don't know if to suggest something.

Maisie I don't know what site you're on, but can you report this man to it? On Match, you can report someone who is 'concerning'.

Jarlin so sorry to hear about things with Slow Hopefully, it will be a bit of a kick up the arse for him. I do think that there are lot of people doing OD who have the potential to be really great partners, but are fundamentally 'flawed' in some way. (see my previous analogy comparing online dating to employment agencies)

I know I've been very angsty on these threads at several points, but (believe it or not) I am very pragmatic about dating/relationships/feelings nowadays. As someone else said (sorry can't remember and I have looked but I can't find the post), it is about meeting someone else's needs and them meeting yours. It's nothing personal in that there's something wrong with anyone/either of you, just that two people aren't always compatible, even if they are attracted to each other.

Turnedout

He's either flawed emotionally, felt trapped, and ran once it started to sound, smell and look like a relationship.

Or he wasn't as interested as he let you believe and either thought it didn't matter or it would come and then when you made a show of affection, it pushed him to end it.

Or he was seeing someone else as well, was happy to go along with it on the date so as not to get into anything uncomfortable and then ended it.

Or he's married/in a relationship and likes the affirmation of someone else liking him but then ends it when that person makes any kind of 'declaration' because he's got what he's looking for but doesn't want to complicate his situation.

Or some other, equally shit reason!

But either way, he isn't worth it and he is flawed, not you.

turned I am sorry that is confusing for sure. but I don't think u did anything wrong in only dating one man if that's how u felt comfortable and what u wanted to do.

think folk hives great advice in last post too.

I am going to stick to my new mantra only think about controlling the controllable.

My boyfriend went out for a drink with people from work last night. He's only done it 3 times since we've been seeing each other so not an issue, but it does make me feel a little insecure.

He's one of the oldest people in the company and they're all young and slim and beautiful. And I'm none of those!!!

I'm not stressing like I would have been a few weeks ago and I know that if he did do something, it would say more about him than me, and he has said that he wouldn't because he loves me but if he ever did then he'd tell me, but would he?

I think I'm almost at a point where I do trust him! But there's always that niggling "but what if he's lying/what if he lies?" doubt that exists because my exH had no trouble lying about anything and everything from the big to the frankly absolutely ridiculous.

Because, he could have gone back with someone last night and not tell me and I would, literally, never know. I know that's the trust bit. But it's hard!

Minime Yes, only trying to control the controllable. That's what I need to focus on, I think

Jarlin, thanks, we get along really well and he seems open, uncomplicated and genuinely into me, he texts when he says he will, remembers what I've been doing etc. The only problem I have though is I'm not sure if he's too nice, I don't know if I'm feeling the passion of wanting to rip his clothes off and make mad, passionate lurve! So I'm just going with it at the minute and seeing how it develops.

I'm so sorry you've had a crappy week with mr slow, it sounds as if you just weren't his priority, which after 4 months you should've been. If he knew he was seeing friends/kids etc on the weekend then you think he would've tried to arrange another day to spend with you. I hope he realises what he's let go.

Mr nice is the first one I've dated since stbxh and old. It seems odd to have gone online and dating the first one I met esp when I paid a 3 month subscription!! Feels as if I've missed out on the fun/horror stories of old.

"Controlling the controllable" yes good words for me too

Jarlin, sorry you feeling let down. To be honest if it was me (and believe me I'm insecure) I would have taken that as a compliment that he wants you to be with his friends. Have you met them before?

I'm meeting my guy's sister tonight two months in. Feel like it's a step for us

I don't think it was a compliment actually, Pinklaydee

When I met my boyfriend's friends, he arranged for us to get together, on two seperate occasions. He ran it all by me first, he told me we'd been invited, what they were like and he said a lot to put my mind at ease.

If I'd asked him what his plans were and he said he'd been 'roped into' a boring blokey night out and then "do you fancy coming?", I wouldn't take that as a compliment at all!

I can't think of many things less appealling than a games night in a pub, to be honest!

Good luck meeting your man's sister tonight, though, Pink. That is a step!

I was terrified meeting my boyfriend's family. I don't really have any family to introduce him to, but he had to meet my children. I think he drew the short straw!

cani It's odd isnt' it? You want to meet someone decent and not have the despair and horror stories, but I think I'd feel I'd missed out too if they hadn't happened!

Although, embarrassingly, I didn't really have many dates.

The only one date I went on I was the cause of. There's a man out there who has a "I went on this one date...." story and it's about me

I'd love to share it, but I told pretty much everyone in the known world so if anyone I know is lurking, it would definitely out me.

It was so bad, I'm almost proud of it, though

I met my now ex bf mates and I mean his best mates o. Our first official date .
I'd actually backed out of our first date on the Thursday and was feeling awful I said I could see him on the Monday it was a bit odd as I was older and they'd known each other since they were tiny lol.

Went ok tho, only one I didn't get on with was the one who is mates with Mr IT lol

Forgot to add his best friends family as well, luckily it wasn't for two long as after eating he said my grip on his hand hurt as I was nervous.

Oddly enough the next day I had a text saying they thought he'd been hiding me from them n Wed been together a while as we were so relaxed lol.

Folkgirl Thanks for that idea. I use okc. I did use POF before, but because of the higher amount of half naked pics there. I just left it alone. I checked the options on reporting but I can't find his profile since I blocked it now. So I think I will leave it at that. I just want to forget about it now. I realised I gave that man too much time and messages. That is why I think.

I also like the comment of "controlling the controllable". This is so true.

Your bf sounds lovely. Yes, I think I also won't out my previous communication as well. Until I met my current bf, I thought that most of the guys were similar too. I think I know what I am looking for more now, now that I filtered the ones that I know is not quite good for me.

= Sorry, that should have been current "ex" bf...

Jesy So it was a hand-gripping moment, huh ?